Need blunt and decent advice.

[violet13]

So it's long winded apologies but it's urgent.
So a friend I've had for 2 and a half years even had stay with us when kicked out has spread rumours about me I'm not too arsed about that bit but then goes on to say to someone who I know would never lie or make it up, that she only took my son for a cuddle to check him over for marks or bruises which bare in mind he was covered head to toe baby grow cest and jacket at around 4/5 months old (he's 1 now) so that means she undressed him without my knowledge and without my consent or reason to bum change etc this is someone I trusted and also has a child themselves took him from my sight with consent while going to do admin checks. Has said all sort s of awful things about my son and myself. Now I've reported it to someone on base but they said I really should call police I'm now very close to as she is saying other things and I also don't know what was done to my son why did she feel the need to make up a vicious rumour and also undress him?! What would
You guys do bare in mind I can't move I've tried I've talked to people who I needed to. About it and nothing and I mean nothing was done. Xxx

 

[Emily0505]

Didn't this happen a while back?

I'm sure I remember reading this before?

What action have you taken so far?

XX

 

[violet13]

I had contacted police but my health visitor has told me to leave it so I did. But it's gotten worse so much so I can't go into the local community centre because she's spreading lies and I'm actually getting grief off random people now :/ she's spreading so much rumours and it's actually really causing me high anxiety issues xxx

 

[Emily0505]

What did the police have to say about things?

XX

 

[violet13]

Oh not much because I was advised to stop and asked them to they did and I feel really down about it because well this person has so many hooks in people they have taken her side.. I feel that low maybe it'd be best I just move back in with family but then that splits our family up and things are really really good family wise xxx

 

[Lolie14]

There's no way I would leave my husband and split my family up because of lies someone else is spreading. I would just carry on and call her out on it in public - ask her calmly in front of others why she feels the need to say these things. If you hide away then unfortunately people will listen to her as you're appearing guilty.

 

[violet13]

I may do that tomorrow then and just ask her why she's done it and if she continues i take it further xxx

 

[Blueclass]

Hey i agree with the above if you hide or move it looks like you ran away and you havent. Id also call her out in public and just ask what was it you did to make her this horrible to you. Tell her if she sont stop you will report her for undressing and checking your son. X

 

[JD.Deedee]

You can do her for slander X

 

[monkey1988]

You asked for blunt advice so here it goes.

If you feel that a crime has been committed against your son then by all means contact police. I will say that in the first place had I suspected that with my son I wouldn't have stopped if someone had asked me to back down. If you are just annoyed and feel hurt at rumours and hearsay then forget it and move on. If you let what others say dictate your life then you are always going to be involved in drama. Find your mama bear, stand up for yourself and don't care what anyone says.

People talk, it sucks but if you know you are doing your best for your kid and your health visitor is showing no signs of concern then why should it bother you. Undressing your son without your consent is totally uncalled for but have you explicitly pulled her aside and called her out on it directly?

 

[violet13]

I've contacted my husbands point of contact and their trying to sort it and hopefully move us. I hate where we are I hate the camp I'm utterly miserable. I'm going to the welfare officer as well tomorrow if I call her out in public she gets very screamy and I have my son on my own so I don't want him getting upset because of her xxx

 

[Holi]

I'm assuming she checked your baby for bruises because she's saying your baby's in danger?? I would just ask her straight why she felt the need to check your son over?

Rumours are vicious but just try your best not to get you down, you know the truth! X

 

[violet13]

Thanks holi yeah she said I was an unfit mother and that I couldn't cope but there's procedures in place for her to talk to me or someone who would talk to me and my health visitor has no concerns or issues she's happy and said I'm a fab mum xxx

 

[Holi]

Thanks holi yeah she said I was an unfit mother and that I couldn't cope but there's procedures in place for her to talk to me or someone who would talk to me and my health visitor has no concerns or issues she's happy and said I'm a fab mum xxx

Sounds like she's being a horrible little busy body. Really hope you manage to find a way to forget about it, or even better, put her in her place and get her to stop spreading such awful things x

 

[violet13]

Thanks Hun. I ended up calling her out later yesterday which I never planned to do tbh. I won't ever get a confession she's done this to loads of people before and yet still not been disciplined for it which is appalling. She did get nasty with me and I just said calmly remember who picked you out of the shit when you needed it, I'll make sure no one believes you again. And she shut up xxx

 

[Blueclass]

Well done you! Bet that surprised her haha. X

 

[violet13]

It did but now she's trying to cover her arse, heard people on the way to school this
Morning fml xxx

 

[Blueclass]

Fml? I dont know the lingo lol. You've already spoken to people aboit her so they will look into it x

 

[violet13]

Oh sorry it means fuck my life haha had no issues today but then agin hubby is home so I didn't expect I would xxx