Need a moan - sorry.

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by -, Aug 28, 2005.

  1. Guest

    Hello guys - it's been AGES again since I have been on here (feeling like I'm abandoning you lot).

    Been moving into the new house and finally got the bed in last night and 'officially' moved in and spent our first night last night. Came back to in-laws today as I needed to catch up on the net.

    It seems though at the moment - no matter how much stuff I have to do (moving boxes, re-wiring stereo's, etc) I still can't stop worrying or thinking something is going to happen with baby. :roll:

    I know baby had problems early on but everything has been fine for weeks now (other than SPD, but that's me not babe). If I don't feel the baby kick for half the day I start panicking and have to remind myself that although baby is already 8 inches long now, it may be kicking towards my spine so I won't feel it.

    Now that we are properly in our new house now and a 'family' - I am shit*ing my pants (scuse my french) about being a mum. I can see PND being on the cards and I really feel like I won't be able to cope. I can barely cope with myself feeling so crap still :(

    I know I must be one of wingyest wineyest people on this forum but I really just had to get it out - even if no-one replies I'll feel better for saying it. I just feel so overpowered by everything going on around me and I can't do anything about it. I know it's natual, but how much crapping your self is natural to the point where you really are getting depressed over it?

    I've had to change doctors surgery because of my move (which I didn't want to do - had the same doctor since birth and all the way through my depression and health problems since I was younger). I don't even know who my new midwife is. This is also worrying me. What if i don't liek my new doctor or my new midwife?

    I feel so alone and I don't even have the internet at my disposal to chat to you guys frequently :(

    A very fed up, worried, tiered and miserable Sami xxx
     
  2. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    Hey Sami

    Things have been really busy for you lately, what with moving. Hell it's bloody stressful enough when you aren't pregnant!
    You had a bit of a rough patch with your OH a couple of weeks ago, and contending with SPD aswell cannot be easy.
    I think you are doing tremendously well, there's a lot going on in your life. Worrying about being a crap mother or worrying about the baby is totally normal, and as for PND, that can be dealt with should it arise.
    Chin up, you're doing fab - you're just tired from everything that's going on.
    Once you've settled properly into your new home I'm sure you'll feel a lot better. And don't worry about coming on here for a moan, it doesn't make you the whingyest whinyest person - it makes you pregnant and hormonal ;)

    Take care, baby dust and hugs to you and your bump.
     
  3. playmate

    playmate Well-Known Member

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    aww hunni your gonna be a great mum and have a healthy little baby and a awesome family at th end of it all! your a strong woman for doing all this while your pregnant so i take my hat off to you love well done.. now you've moved in try and relax and enjoy the rest of pregnant life x
     
  4. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Sami,

    you're obviously such a caring woman that I've no doubt you're going to make that baby a fabulous Mum! You're also very tough- there's no way I would have coped with SPD the way you have! I've been driving everyone up the wall moaning about one slightly swollen ankle for God sake! I know what you mean about the blanket of fear and doubt that occasionally appears whenever I think "I'm going to be a mother? I don't know the first thing about babies!" but everyone has told me that they felt like that and that actually you know a lot more than you think. My Mum keeps saying that the trick is to remember that the baby is not some alien lifeform with vastly different needs- just a very tiny new person and that if you think "Ok, what would I be feeling like if I was doing what he or she is doing?" then most times you can work stuff out and react accordingly.

    Moving house is also disruptive- to anyone- I don't know about you but I really feel like I need to be somewhere predictable and familiar at the moment, I often feel quite vulnerable and my best place at the moment is my own familiar home! I suppose that it's because my body and the future is so different and there's so much uncertainty elsewhere? Anyway- moving is tough enough anyway but I'm sure that once you and your OH have made your new house feel like your home you'll feel a lot better :)

    Hang on in there hun :)
    +++
     
  5. lisa31

    lisa31 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Sami

    Everyone is right - you will be a great mum. From what I have read on your posts to everyone in the past just shows that you are caring. Moving house is very stressful and sometimes when something happens that you ve been looking forward to its a bit daunting and your head 'brings something in' to ruin it all for you. E.g now that your house is sorted you brain thinks - umm cant have this, sami not having something to worry/stress about so it brings in the most important thing to you (your baby) and makes you worry about that.

    Hope you dont think Im talking gobbldygook but I too have suffered from depression was off work for months with it in the past and I sought help from a brilliant counsellor who I have only just stopped seeing every week. What you need to try and do is taken each day on its own, and when those thoughts pop in, think to yourself e.g PND - well, that hasnt hapened yet, and there is not reason for it to happen and I will deal with at the time it if it does.

    It is difficult to change your thought patterns but it can work. I am doing it at the moment with my smoking - I have a real hang up on it - tried to stop loads of times and ended up kicking myself when I couldnt do it, so that would make me depressed. I finally took the decision last tuesday to stop and I am still going...(just!!) but everytime the thoughts pop into my head about having one I try to take control of that thought and rationalise it.

    You will be fine - you have all of us on here - even if you only come on here once a week we can all boost you.

    Good luck

    L x
     
  6. hels

    hels Well-Known Member

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    hey Sami, you and OH are going to make great parents!!!!!!!!!
    I think its very normal to question your ability, i know i do it daily! The more you worry the more stressed you'll become, have you chatted with OH about your fears, ill put money on the fact he'll reasure you that he couldnt wish for a better mummy for his baby
    Stay positive....keep smiling and remember its only natural!!
    Love H xxx
     
  7. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

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    Sami -

    Whingy whiny? Nah! You're going through something very normal, and I really admire you, because at 19 I was in no way ready to set up house and a new life with my OH! I was a baby myself! At 32 I'm STILL a baby! :roll:

    I know you probably hear it a lot, that you are quite young, and that you are bound to be daunted etc. I think that's rubbish. ANYONE would be daunted by the stuff you've been through. I understand about the moving part, I moved 26 miles to my new house in a different town and know hardly anyone yet, but I'm getting involved. I am quiet and fairly shy, so it takes me a while to make friends. You will do that too...

    And everyone has fears about being a new mum...I was reading someone's post on here the other day - even though she has five kids and is expecting her 6th, she still feels like a first time mum because there's been a 10 year gap! Every child is different so I suppose every pregnancy must be too.

    *HUG* you are a caring person, you wouldn't be worrying otherwise. it sounds like crap and we all doubt it sometimes but the answers are all inside you and will flow very naturally out of who you are. And, as your OH will no doubt agree, you're pretty darn special.

    Keep the chin up, honey, and don't worry about baby, s/he will be fine, as long as Mom looks after herself!

    Sue
     
  8. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

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    Hey Sami

    There's not a lot left fgor me to say that hasn't already been said but please remember that you have the support of your family, friends and OH, and all of us on here, and you will be a naturally brilliant mum. Of everyone on this forum you are one of the most committed to your unborn baby. You've come so far together you'll be great.

    Love and hugs

    Kim xx
     
  9. Lucy

    Lucy Well-Known Member

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    Hi Sami

    I read more posts on here than I do post replies, I've read quite a few of yours and can tell you've been through an awful lot. You've coped so well with everything that has happened.

    Like others have said above, moving house is a major upheaval, stressful and unsettling time, that added to the fact you have had to change doctors and midwives who have cared for you up until now is a really big change, no wonder you are feeling like you are!

    I also worry that I wont be a good mum but I hope that each day we will learn new things about our babies and we'll get more confidence as time goes on.

    All the best

    Lucy
     
  10. petchy

    petchy Well-Known Member

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    sami, i think you will be a great mum! if you do get PND, make sure you get the help you're entitled to and i'm sure you will be fine!

    after reading your posts on here i reckon you are coping so well! you should be proud of yourself!

    hope your ned MW and doctor are nice! best of luck!
     
  11. Guest

    AWWWWWWWWW you guys :D

    You're all the best. I wasn't expecting any replies at all - thank you so much - just reading them made me feel a million times better.

    Thank you for letting me go on, thanks for listening, and thanks for making me feel normal :lol:

    It's so nice to have friends like you on here :)

    Thank you xxxx
     
  12. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

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    You're welcome Sami, any time :wink:
     
  13. hels

    hels Well-Known Member

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    Yeahhhh...keep smiling chick!!!
    take it easy! xxx
     

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