Nap ideas

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Aprilxxx, Jan 22, 2020.

  1. Aprilxxx

    Aprilxxx Well-Known Member

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    Hi all

    My baby is 9 weeks old and I’m having a terrible time trying to get him to nap of a day.
    He is a brilliant sleeper of a night. He goes down at 10pm and feeds around 3 and 6 then goes back to bed until 7 or 8am.

    Of a day it’s a different story. He refuses to nap unless I am holding him or if we are out in thw pram.
    He is a very light sleeper and he wakes himself up twitching most of the time. I put him in a sleeping bag which he loves of a night but doesn’t make a difference of a day. I have tried getting him to sleep and only putting him down when he’s in a deep sleep, recreating nighttime conditions (dark quiet room playing white noise), putting him in his next to me and laying next to him etc.
    I’m currently resorting to putting him in his pram and rocking it at the first sign of movement ...I now get a 30 min nap out of him. The only thing is he now SCREAMS and fights his sleep when I try get him down for a nap. His crying lasts around 10 mins for me but sometimes doesn’t stop for my bf. He only goes down without a fight after his bottle and without fail wakes up 30 mins later. He will laugh and play for around an hour then start getting tired and thats when the screaming match starts. I’ve tried getting him straight back to sleep once he wakes from his nap but he wakes up completely wide awake so have to wait for his next cue.

    Any ideas or just keep going?
     
  2. WinterWolf

    WinterWolf Well-Known Member

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    Aw he's just a newborn!! That's very normal at his age. They want to sleep often, on top of people and for short periods. Just do whatever gets him to sleep easiest he's too little to be taught how to nap properly. My daughter napped on me almost exclusively for the first 4mo of her life. She had the 30min nap problem and I tried literally everything - nothing fixed it except her becoming old enough to join sleep cycles (around 6-7mo old). She all of a sudden napped for longer and would let me put her down in her cot. You can try the white noise/swaddle/black out blinds/rock him/put him down drowsy but awake routine but imo that's more faff than it's worth and probably won't work for a baby as young as your boy. He WILL outgrow it. I promise. xx

    Also re: the screaming, he's probably overtired. Pay attention to what he does when he's tired (zoning out, rubbing his face/eyes, yawning, getting fussy) and make sure he's not awake more than an hour, he will get overtired very fast and then be a right nightmare to get to sleep x
     
  3. MoominGirl

    MoominGirl Well-Known Member

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    Totally agree with everything WinterWolf has said. My boy was similar at night at that age but day sleeps were just a nightmare. It does get better and they do grow out of it. I wish someone had told me that at the time as I'd have been far less stressed out in the process. I agree it's worth trying different things like white noise etc as different things work for different babies but I think sometimes just hearing that waiting it out is ok often helps.

    Also the overtired thing. I didn't even know that was a thing when my boy was as small as yours. It really does make it difficult to get them to sleep so definitely look out for it.
     
  4. Aprilxxx

    Aprilxxx Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the advice!
    I have been letting him sleep on me up until this last week because he is a newborn and that’s what he wants but it started becoming impossible to get out the house/eat/shower so I need him to sleep independently at some point in the day. I know I sleep better when I sleep next to my bf so I know it’s just human nature for him to want to cuddle me to feel warm and safe and i absolutely love it on the days I’m in the house but when I need to go out or do a little bit of house work I really struggle. My bf also works 16 hour days when he’s in work so there’s no opportunity for me to do a basic things before or after his shift.

    It is good to know that he will eventually go in his cot though and this is just a newborn stage!
    I know exactly when he needs to sleep hence why I try to put him down for naps but as he doesn’t sleep very long without me he’s not getting enough sleep and then becoming overtired! I’m very good at managing to calm him and get him to sleep when he reaches this point and he generally only cry’s for around 15 minutes max but I’m the only person who can do this..I’m about to start letting grandparents babysit (when he’s 3 months) so would really like him to nap properly so I don’t get a moody baby back!
     
  5. mummybear2

    mummybear2 Well-Known Member

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    Do you have a wrap or a sling? Might be worth trying. If he’s not willing to nap own his own if you baby wear it means you can still get stuff around the house and he can still nap on you.
    My daughter wouldn’t nap on her own. She napped on me almost always, a part from when she was in her pram. I just embraced it and didn’t do much for a while.
     
  6. Aprilxxx

    Aprilxxx Well-Known Member

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    I don’t have one but I have been debating getting one to make life easier!
     
  7. mummybear2

    mummybear2 Well-Known Member

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    Oh 100% go for it! I loved my wrap and then our carrier. Really good for walks out and about too. I’ll be making full use of a wrap for school runs come August when my little one starts school and number 2 is due!
     
  8. Niknaknoo

    Niknaknoo Well-Known Member

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    Absolutely second the sling idea. It was a lifesaver for us. Go along to a sling library before you buy one, you can hire them or just try them on to see what kind you are most comfortable with. x
     
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  9. Aprilxxx

    Aprilxxx Well-Known Member

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    Wow never even heard of this! Thank you XX
     
  10. MoominGirl

    MoominGirl Well-Known Member

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    I was also going to suggest a sling or carrier. I think it helped my husband massively with settling our LO too. I also just embraced not getting a lot done for a while and got a lot of exercise with a lots of pram walking!
     
  11. Aprilxxx

    Aprilxxx Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I walk SO much. It has helped me loose the baby weight so not complaining to much.


    So is the only sleeping well on mum generally a common newborn thing and he should be more independent at sleeping as he grows?
     
  12. Niknaknoo

    Niknaknoo Well-Known Member

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    Absolutely, it’s sometimes called the 4th trimester. Baby has been with you for his entire life and it’s a big change being in the outside world. He’ll get there...enjoy the snuggles for now though!
     
  13. WinterWolf

    WinterWolf Well-Known Member

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    4th trimester is the hardest. Their sleep cycles change big time at 4mo.. they usually do a regression where sleep is 20x worse for a couple of weeks, then they're a little more agreeable to being taught how to nap in their cot. Definitely get a sling so you can at least vacuum or something with him. Even if he doesn't sleep it let's you have two hands free to do something!

    I used to get up and shower before hubby went to work, which was annoying as I had to shower at 5:30am or not at all. Had to buy liquid breakfast things. Skipped lunch or had it delivered most days. Used to spend most of the day on the couch or wear baby around the house in a baby bjorn carrier... Ahh the newborn days. Stay away from what the "experts" online say about how they need to self-settle etc, it's not realistic for 90% of babies! x
     
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  14. night owl

    night owl Well-Known Member

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    My 9 month old will still only sleep on me, even of a nighttime, won’t even entertain the idea of sleeping on her own in a cot so you are lucky that he’s doing good stretches in his crib of a night, I get nothing done but I’ve just accepted it now once I realised the world wasn’t going to end if I didn’t do the housework, a sling is a good idea my little girl liked the sling and it meant I could walk around for a bit, but as others have said it’s 100% normal, babies need such a high level of human contact especially when they are sleeping as it’s when they are highly vulnerable, sleeping with their mothers actually helps regulate their breathing, heart rate, body temp etc thus reducing the risk of sids, babies inherently know what they need, have a look at Gordon newfeld and sarah ockwell smith their research on baby sleep explains why they cry when you put them down etc, he will grow out of it, they all do so at different times though so don’t feel like you have to “sleep train” him or like there’s anything wrong if he doesn’t want to sleep on his own of a day x
     
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  15. night owl

    night owl Well-Known Member

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    this is great advice, the whole concept of ‘self-settling’ is such toxic rubbish which needs to be thrown in the bin
     
    WinterWolf likes this.
  16. Sparklisam

    Sparklisam Well-Known Member

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    If your on Instagram have a look at ‘twinningituk’
    She’s got loads of sleep advice sleep/wake times. Naps etc.
    Like you I was struggling with naps but after a few weeks I’ve manage to get her to settle in her cot after following a quick nap routine. So she knows it time to sleep.
    as others have said the short naps are when they haven’t linked their sleep cycles. The Instagram lady tells you how to work on that. I’ve not been brave enough yet ... only just managed the nap settling thing. But making sure baby isn’t over tired will really help to settle. 45-1hr they can be awake before getting overtired for some !!
     
  17. Aprilxxx

    Aprilxxx Well-Known Member

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    I’ve followed her and I’m going to try a few things she’s recommended out! Thank you xxx
     

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