My daughter is expecting her first in a few weeks, due date is between June 9th to 15th. This is my first grandchild and I am over the moon excited. Problem is that I live in the states and she is in Canada. She has known right from the start that I was planning on coming up as soon as I heard that she was in labor so that I could see my first little grandbaby asap. She made it clear recently that she did not want any guests at the hospital which I can accept but I still really want to see him once they get home. After that I intended to stay a day or two elsewhere, not with them, then fly to be with my 89 year mother for a week or so, who is in rehab in another Canadian city, as a result of having been hit by a car, then fly back to my daughter to help her out after her husband goes back to work. They plan on moving into a bigger apartment at the beginning of June and she will be needing more help than normal. Late last night I got a message from her asking that I come from the 15th to the 30th and that I book my flight right away because it was inconveniencing others because my travel plans are so up in the air. She said I need to show consideration for the people I will be staying with, the people picking me up from the airport and those asked to drive me around. I suggested that I could take the shuttle from the airport into the city, that I could rent a car and stay at a hotel. This did not satisfy her because it would be a strain on our family finances. I have tried to explain to her that it is pointless in booking a flight because we have no clue when the little guy is going to arrive and I want to be there when I am really needed, not when her husband is still at home. I am trying to juggle a lot of things right now and she told me that I was only thinking of myself and that this was all about them and their special time and not about me. To me this is about being there when I am really needed the most, to be there when my mother needs me, there are things here at home that I would really like to be here for that I am going to need to put on the back burner. Oh and should I mention that I have another daughter getting married beginning of August? I have tried to explain to her that we have no clue when this little guy will be born. If he were born tomorrow, then her husband would be going back to work on the 9th leaving her nearly a week with no support. Or he might not come until a few days after her due date, I had one go three days over and my sister had one go three weeks over, so I would be sitting there twiddling my thumbs, underfoot or having to pay more to reschedule a ticket. She is angry with me for not wanting to get things organized, I am telling her that it is hard to get things organized when you have no idea when the baby will be born. I have told her that it is hard on me too but that I have just decided to enjoy the excitement and joy of this precious time and try to go with the flow. I have been doing a lot of crying since last night, my joy that I have felt for the past 8 months has been destroyed and it has caused contention between my daughter and I. Am I being unreasonable to want to not book my flight until I know when the baby is on his way and my plans as to when I will return to help her with packing, cooking etc? My daughter has OCD and needs to have things under control. I too would like to have things more organized but in reality I do not find that it would be helpful to do it her way in this situation.