My temper is out of control

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Snuggle, Jan 22, 2008.

  1. Snuggle

    Snuggle Well-Known Member

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    Hi all,
    As you may or may not know, my hubby and I separated last week and up until yesterday I was able to be on reasonable terms with him. I let him come and see Maddison as often as he wanted and discussed the house sale etc with him without so much as a bad word between us. I dont know whats happened but as of yesterday I have become so angry towards him. I keep screaming at him and telling him he doesnt deserve to be a father because he has walked out on us and that I hate him and will never forgive him for the things he has done to me. I never want to use our daughter as a pawn in this but I just cant seem to control how angry I am. I dont know what to do. He has hurt me so much and it seems I'm not coping with it after all. I thought I was being so strong but now I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm trying so hard every day to be smiling and happy for Maddison but as soon as she goes for a nap I sit in tears :cry:
    How do I stop this anger and resentment I feel towards husband? Is this normal at this stage of a split?

    :hug: :hug:

    Sorry this is so long, I dont know who else to turn to :(
     
  2. tracey 2

    tracey 2 Well-Known Member

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    really wish i could help hun but didnt want to read and run. :hug:

    i think it does seem normal sometimes shock does take a while to settle in and now it has its completely thrown you and your feeling why is everything so different why am i feeling like this, etc but it sounds normal to feel like this and i dont blame you.

    i can give you much advice really but im here if you ever need to talk PM me anytime hun, just for rant or anything il lend you my ears.

    in mean time sending loads of hugs :hug: :hug:
     
  3. Sammystar

    Sammystar Well-Known Member

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    I know exactly how you're feeling. I'm going through the same range of emotions myself.

    I have days when I feel I'm coping OK, and I can be nice to OH, and other days where I'm filled with anger and resentment.
    Some days, like today, I start off feeling one emotion and then out of the blue it just turns into something completely different.

    My OH looked like death warmed up this morning, I thought he looked like a man on the verge of a breakdown and I actually started to feel SORRY for him!!

    Then, out of the blue, I remembered what he's been doing these past few months and suddenly it was all I could do to stop myself screaming at him!

    I think we can expect to be on a roller coaster of emotion for quite some time hun. It's not an easy ride, but all we can do is hold on and KNOW that this won't last forever.

    Try to focus on Maddison, try to look to the future, and think about how much better things are going to be when you get through this tunnel. That's how I keep going. I keep telling myself that there's light at the end of this tunnel, and while it's a bumpy ride now, things will soon be better.........

    Deep breathes :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: And don't be afraid to have a good rant when you need to........
     
  4. MissThing

    MissThing Well-Known Member

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    You are going throught a very difficult time. Apart from having a small baby (which is one of the most stressful things), you are getting separeted from your husband (one of the other most stressful things) and you have to sell your house (other most stressful thing). It is only normal to be upset, and angry, and wanting to cry! And, sometimes not to go insane, we need someone or something to lash our anger on. It is easy to say, but try to think, that there is a light in the end of a tunnel. Maybe you could try to get some help with the houshold. I know, that when I was really angry sport helped me a lot. I used to run for as long as I could, till there was nothing in my head apart from "run, run, run". Try to get out, have a long walk.

    Giving you these :hug: :hug: :hug: Things will get better :hug:
     
  5. Snuggle

    Snuggle Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much girls :hug: :hug:

    I was half expecting replies saying that I'm being unreasonable and need to get a grip of myself :?
    I will keep trying to be strong and try to focus on mine and Maddisons future and I'm sure in time I will be able to be in the presence of hubby without wanting to take a knife to his nether regions :lol:

    Thank you all so much :hug: :hug:
     
  6. mrs_tommo22

    mrs_tommo22 Well-Known Member

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    You have every right to feel angry toward him and it was going to explode eventually, you cant bottle that up and let him get off scot free - feeling your wrath may give him a good idea of what he has done to you and maddison.

    Your going through such a rough time Julie, so many emotions are going to bubble to the surface, you wont be able too control them easily, just let it all out hun.

    Hugs too you xxxx :hug: :hug:

    He deserves a bit of screeching at
     
  7. Geordie&Bairn

    Geordie&Bairn Well-Known Member

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    Just wanted to add my :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
    Im so sorry you our going through such a hard time
    And i admire you for keeping it together for so long
    I dont blame you for getting angry with you OH he deserves it and more.

    Lol Sarah :hug:
     
  8. Craig

    Craig Well-Known Member

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    i cant really offer any advice - im hardly a model of self control. but you have been going through alot, and those feelings are gooing to seem to be comming from nowhere - but it does help to get them out, and eventually theyll pass...

    oh.. and just to add my :hug: :hug:
     
  9. mamichuli

    mamichuli Well-Known Member

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    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: Just wanted to add these.

    From what I understand, it is a very normal feeling - there is a medical/psychological term for it, but i dont know the name of it. All I can tell you is that when i separated from my ex I felt anger like never before or since - fury better defines it, i didnt know i was capable of such anger... :evil:
    you will get over it though, everything passes - just focus on you and LO.

    Take care and remember we are all here for ya...


    Lisa
     
  10. Babylicious

    Babylicious Well-Known Member

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    It's definately normal, he was a ******* to you hun you can't help feeling how you do.

    I must confess I said the same things to my ex after he beat me for the last time :hug:
     
  11. MissGobby

    MissGobby Well-Known Member

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    aww hunny, i cant really comment as i havent been in a situation like you hunny but i just wanted to give you these babes :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  12. Snuggle

    Snuggle Well-Known Member

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    Thank you girls :hug: :hug:

    I feel calmer this morning but it doesnt take much to set me off. Chris is coming to see Maddison this afternoon, will have to try my best to be as civil as possible :roll:

    There seems to be quite a few of us in the same situation at the moment, so many break ups :(
     
  13. newmum

    newmum Well-Known Member

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    .
     
    #13 newmum, Jan 23, 2008
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2009
  14. jenni32

    jenni32 Well-Known Member

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    You're going through a really stressful time Snuggle, it's only natural that you will feel angry and resentful towards him. I went thriugh a bad break up quite a while ago when I was young and foolish (!) , took me ages to recover but I did. Maddison will keep you going, she is such a beautiful little girl. Unfortunately men do seem to fall short of the mark so often. :x
     

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