My parent's reaction

[titch]

Well girls I told my mum on the phone this morning. We had planned to go and visit together this weekend and tell both sets of parents face to face but she ruined my plans by being very busy all weekend but I was welcome to stay if I didn't mind not seeing much of them(!) so in the end I just told her over the phone and started to cry...also not the plan.

She just started laying into my boyfriend saying how he's too moody and can't make me happy. We've lived together for 18 months and NOW she chooses to expresses her real feelings about him. She has the classic opinion that no man is ever good enough for me. I'm pretty certain that if he was a lawyer or a doctor she would though...oh yes, thats right its 2009!!!He's really a great guy, he works, he's loving, honest, doesn't drink often, doesnt smoke and has never done drugs. He's attentive and looks after me, Hes so good with money, much better than me! But he didn't go to uni and yes he's not mr perfect, he does get moody sometimes, not all the time at all, when he's angry or we've had row he sulks instead of shouting and it drives me mad, passive aggressive stuff! But seriously, its not the end ofthe world and yes we row sometimes, never massive rows and I think its normal. We love eachother very much and want to get married.

I'm so unhappy now, and she truly made me feel like that naughty school girl. I've tried to come on here to regain the excitement I had yesterday and I just cant

 

[Sam's Mum]

She's probably just shocked, and I'm sure she'll come around. Parents always seem to have their kids lives planned out in their heads, and things don't usually go the way they expect them to. I'm sure once she gets used to the idea of having a grandchild she'll be happy for you x

 

[titch]

Its annoying cos she seems to think me sisters bf is mr perfect. Shes much younger and they dont live together so I guess she doesnt see it as the same. Her bf is very unreliable, he always lets her down, although I do believe he just forgets and cant organise himself rather than deliberately upsetting her.

I hope she does come around, we're going up to see them friday evening, I hope it goes better. I wish they could just like him and be happy for us, it makes life so much harder when it feels like theyre not on our side.

 

[Sam's Mum]

Just give her a few days to think about it and she'll probably start to realise it's not a bad thing at all... it's surprisingly common for parents to react in that way

 

[Mamafy]

Don't let anyone spoil it for you hun

 

[karen78]

dont let anyone spoil it for yous they will come round in the end. she maybe just a bit shocked

 

[ToffeePop]

If your mum is a traditionalist in any way, shape or form, she'll have reacted badly out of shock-instant reaction to how she "thinks" (sounds from the little you've said that it could be something like that). Once she gets her head around it a little -probably the last thing she was expecting to hear on the phone though that's not your fault the way that worked out! -she'll see she had a knee-jerk reaction to it.

If she still doesn't come round (she will) just keep calling her "Granny" until she does

I'm sure she'll be thrilled when you see her You keep smiling in the meantime, lovely, as important as your mum is, YOUR happiness and that little bean growing away cosily for now, are what matters. and you've just said how happy you are with your lovely partner!

for Tiny's pregnancy!

 

[titch]

Ahhh thankyou everyone, you've really made me feel better, especially the cheering toffeepop!

Good idea, I'll call her 'granny' in welsh, theres no way she could resist that!lol! Our child is going to be welsh/english bilingual (as we are) and she will be thrilled with the idea of that.

 

[megsmeadow]

Tiny you are so brave!!! I was thinking of emailing my mum so I don't have to get the reaction face to face!!!!! I know, I can't do it that way but it would be so much easier! We've still not told ours. We have only been together for a year and got engaged in September. I think although our folks will be happy (both our previous relationships were stinkers!!) it will still be a shock. My other problem is trying to get my OH to find the courage to tell them sooner rather than later. He's excited but I think he's waiting for the scan.
Tiny look at it this way, the hardest part is over!!!! And it's always much harder to communicate openly on the phone. I'm sure when she sees you, she'll feel differently!!!!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Aww My mum wasnt happy when I told her I was expecting my eldest. I was 19 and married and she just said 'I cant be happy for you because I know how hard it is being a young mum'. She was 23 when she had me. I was disappointed but I didnt take it to heart. Her reaction was totally different with these two - 14+ years later. She was very happy but I guess I was in a better place so I understood.

The one thing I can tell you is that my mum dotes on my eldest - probably more so than any of the other grandchildren. They are incredibly close and I know she wouldnt change anything for the world

 

[louise280981]

hi tiny i told you it was a scary thing and i like you i am dreading the day i tell my mum number 3 is on the way!! your mum is just in shock and will soon come round to it, especially when she gets the chance to go baby shopping and looking at all the cute outfits.
dont let it put dampener on what is a special and exciting time for you and the oh. just enjoy this magical time and before you know it your mum wil be just as happy as you 2 are

 

[Rowesb]

parents, especially mum's, can be hard work

 

[Toonlass]

My parents reacted badly to my first pregnancy but they came around very quickly and they love my eldest to bits!! Give her time, i bet she will get excited xx

 

[titch]

Thanks everyone, its good to hear it's not unusual! I just had a text from my dad saying that he loves me and is looking forward to seeing me over the weekend. Its such a relief to hear that from him! Sorry if I've scared anyone who hasn't plucked up the courage yet!!Hopefully after the weekend things will be better and I'll definately post any good outcomes to give you courage!lol

Isn't it silly that at 26, an employed professional and a homeowner in a long term relationship, I'm feeling like a knocked up 14 year old! lol!

 

[Toonlass]

thing is tho hun, is that your still your parents baby and always will be i'm almost 30 and my dad still calls me a bairn, and his little girl, i love it really xx

 

[titch]

Yes I suppose we are always our parent's babies! Even when we have our own!

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Oh Tiny..I am sure that she will be overjoyed really, good luck when you see her - she will be happy for you when she accepts that you are happy! Does she knit? Ask her to get some patterns in!
Dont lose your excitement - do another test!
xx

 

[titch]

hehe, how many have you been through now Rosie's mum? I've run out of them in the house! I'm starting to feel a little better my OH is in someones leaving do for work tonight and Im lonely Im on annual leave at the mo so Ive done all my jobs in the day and I can't settle to anything. I might do some online window shopping at baby stuff

 

[Sam's Mum]

Online window shopping is always a good idea

 

[mrsH2009]

I was 24, a home owner, just got a promotion to sister (nursing) which considering my age I thought was pretty impressive and married and i still felt like I was 14 I'm sure she will come around, this is a special time please don't let her spoil it