My friends have gone awol :(

[Lindsay]

Before I got PG I had a really busy and enjoyable social life. DH and I were part of a group of another 4 couples who did lots together, going out for meals, going to the races, pub etc etc but since I got PG they have deserted me, anyone else found the same thing has happened to them? (None of the girls are married, one is due to marry in the summer and they don't have children) On Friday night, DH was out with the lads that he works with, I was sitting at home watching a dvd when my mobile phone buzzed, it was one of the girls who I hadn't heard from since I had told that I was PG...... the message read:

"Hiya, the girls are just having a drink in the pub, thinking about you just to say that we all miss you and hope that yolu are ok"

I felt really upset by this and was tempted to text back and say "I am not ill and can't come out of the house, I can still come to the pub even if I can't drink!!" but I didn't I just replied nicely saying that I was fine and that I hoped they were having a good time. I thought if I said anything more it could be mis-interpreted as texts can sometimes be.

The following morning I told DH about it and that it had upset me (he couldn't understand why!) well anyway we went to the pub for sunday lunch today and bumped into a few of his mates, they happened to say that they had been in the pub on Friday night too, so DH said, they didn't invite me either so it's not just you - typically not understanding what I meant.....

Anyway after all that just wondered how everyone elses friends were behaving, it's prob just mine being strange!!! Those who have children are too busy to see me and those that don't have any seem to think that I can't have fun anymore.

Xxx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

all my friends dropped me but 2 wen i found out i was pg as soon as i had braydon they all wanted to come bck on the scene but i refused to see them and stuck with my 2 friends who stuck by me through out everything!!

i noticed u sed went to the races were are you from?

 

[nicki]

Hiya Lindsay,

I can sympathise you there, my friends stopped asking me out ages ago, infact well before I got pregnant. I'm airline cabin crew, and as my working pattern was all over the place, they always said 'we never know if you are flying or sleeping' I did fly alot of weekends when they're off but they rarely phoned to find out what I was doing. I then went part time and thought things may change, nope and now i'm pregnant they just don't bother.
For the first 3 1/2 months I felt poop so didn't want to go out anyway and now i'm tired alot of the time and uncomfortable but they are still able to phone and say hi, but they don't very often, infact 9 times out of ten its me who contacts them to see if they are still alive! A few nights ago I was in tears asking my hubby what's wrong with me and why doesn't anyone bother with me very much. I'm assuming they will all flock round when bubba is born!!!!

I doubt your friends are excluding you on purpose or to be nasty, they probably just think that you don't want to go out and that your life's changing and going to the pub and drinking is not on your list of things to do anymore, they just need to realise that they need to ask you what you want to do and not assume anything. Try talking to them hun, or drop into conversation that you miss your nights out & want to go out more, they might get the hint then!

Take Care.

Nicki.x

 

[rach]

i know how you feel hun my best mate has recently had twins so has her hands full and i hardly ever hear off her and all my other mates seem to have disapeared the last time they asked me to join them for a drink was the last friday before xmas like any pregnant woman is gonna want to be out that night i still see them for lunch about once a month but thats about it im feeling very isolated at the moment think id go mad if didnt have this forum xxxxx

 

[Sarahe]

Hi Lindsey,

Some of my closest friends when they found I was pregnant have now, talked about this with me and we decided that we would meet up Saturday mornings for coffee and breakie (as I am now an early bird) or have a relaxing lunch. (this keeps me sane and part of the group and what is going on)

They do accasionaly call me and say they are having a quiet one up the pub and invite me but they dont if they are up for a heavy one.

I would suggest you mention to them that you dont want to loose contact and suggest perhaps if they are having a quite one to call you or perhaps arrange meeting over the weekend.

My Partner also finds that his mates dont call if they are having a heavy one, but they now call and he has a drink in the week after work for an hour a couple of times a week.

Hope this helps I would definitly mention it to them as they may just assume you want to stay in, mine did until I told them I was climbing the walls

Sarah

 

[Jadie]

Hello, I also feel left out, most of the friends I used to have I did just see at weekends to go out with. So now I see no one at all.

I was really sick at the beginning, so could not go out, then then I felt better I had lost touch with them, I also did not feel I should be out in dark, smoky pubs, clubs! but we could have still met for coffees etc!

I see my work mates for meals, but I live quite far away from them and feel like when the baby is born I will lose touch with them too as when they go out drinking I will still have to drive as I cant afford taxis back here by my self!

this has not been a problem for my partner who has still been out nearly every weekend!!! but he has been wonderful coping with me these last months. so he does deserve a break from me, but still, thats not the point..........

 

[Lindsay]

Thanks for your replies ladies.

Sarah - I am from the North East so generally go to York / Thirsk / Wetherby races - great fun

Yeah I am going to speak to the girls when I see them next. I know that they won't be doing it on purpose and I wouldn't want to go out with them if they were going for a big night on the town but when they are just going to the local, an invite would be nice.

I am starting to resent DH going out too - which I don't like to feel as I have never had a problem with him going out in the past, I think it has more to do with the fact that I am just sitting in all the time. DH has said today that he will see if the couples that I mentioned in my first post fancy getting together on Saturday and going to the local - he understands that I am frustrated sitting in all the time, bless him!

Xxx