my friend is doing my head in!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by Jojo84, Jul 18, 2013.

  1. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    so ever since i got pregnany a friend of mine seems intent on scaring me

    first she went into detail about how her daughter had a miscarriage - and all he greusome details
    then it was how hard it is and how it could destroy my marriage and all my relationships
    now its telling me that i shouldnt come back to work and instead just claim benifits as ill get more that way plus ill be too tired after work to look after a baby at night

    its annoying me so much...

    i worked out that i could work somewhere between 25-35 hours on my return (instead of 39) and not have to pay for childcare... now i dont know if i want to go back on 35 as i feel like id miss everything and it would be tiring ifi was working 5 full days a week.
    she keeps saying that benifits are thyere so i dont have to work... but heres the thing,,, my parents both worked and looked after me and my brother... we both have very strong work ethics and i dont want to teach my kids that you can sit on your arse and sponge off the government... it would be different if i couldn't work and care for my child at the same time, but i can.

    how do i tell her this without upsetting her... i very almost lost my rag with her today, but i refuse to sit back and go on benifit instead of working if i have a choice. i'm 29 and ive worked more or less constantly since i was 16.

    now if my husband got a full time job then id think about maybe just doing one day a week or something but i cant immagine myself not working.

    i can still claim working tax credit nd child tax credit when i go back which is how i would afford to do fewer hours and to me, thats using the benifit system as it was intended... to help people.
     
    #1 Jojo84, Jul 18, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2013
  2. Sophie_P

    Sophie_P Well-Known Member

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    If I was anybody's friend I would not be advising on money issues/options. I'm sure you're old enough to make your own decisions. Don't worry about upsetting her, she is upsetting you and you don't need it at the moment x
     
  3. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    I'm hormonal and I wanted to scap her neck off! She also told me before my wedding that marriage changes things and would probably break us up. I think she's kinda jealous tbh
     
  4. SarahLouB

    SarahLouB Well-Known Member

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    In my opinion, benefits are there for people in need and they should be the last option. If you lived somewhere else in the world that didn't have a welfare system you wouldn't think twice about working unless you were lucky enough to afford to live in your partner or husbands wage alone.

    I don't think you need to explain yourself to your friend. It's up to you how you live your life. If she brings it up again just say that you would rather go back to work and try and change the subject!

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9790 using Tapatalk
     
  5. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    That's exactly how I feel. I tried that tack and she just kept bringing it back up. I can't even not tall to her CPA we work together
     
  6. Linzie2012

    Linzie2012 Well-Known Member

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    She sounds like the girl I work with that keeps telling me all those things.

    Also get:

    Should if got pregnant early, I now will have no life at 30 - I'm 27
    Every time I feel a flutter it's only wind
    It's so painful I will tear from my bum to my foof
    My bump is all bloat
    I will always be skint
    Babies ruin relationships, me & the OH will never be the same

    Even though she's one that had a accident o
    At 17 & didn't know until she was 6 months - apparently, she also never wanted her child & her partner at the time did that's the only reason why she kept her child.

    This girl makes me sick at times!!!

    She says loads but I ignore most. I try not to think about what she says but sometimes you hear it when they are the only person around!!!
     
    #6 Linzie2012, Jul 18, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2013
  7. H16

    H16 Well-Known Member

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    I know this feeling people I know try and tell me ridiculous things about pregnancy and bringing up a child etc as well and I am like well that may have been your experience but it doesn't mean it will be mine. Someone actually freaked me out so much other day she convinced me my stomach cramp was contractions and I ended up calling labour ward, was just stretching pains! x
     
  8. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    Oh! Yeah she also told me that I'll go into the menopause early COs she did after her last! Only that was her 5th child and I'm only 29. She was 42

    It's so annoying!!!
     
  9. Sophie_P

    Sophie_P Well-Known Member

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    She sounds very jealous x
     
  10. iWitch

    iWitch Well-Known Member

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    Ooohh I had a friend similar to this! A few years ago she kept comparing my OH to her ex who cheated on her saying things like we're not having kids until we're financially secure and married blah blah and the he did dirty on her. Really wound me up! Then we do get married so she couldn't comment on that and I seriously can't wait until I can tell her I'm expecting to see what she knows about this coz she's never experienced it! Ignore your friend and besides, if you finished completely you'd miss the socialising xx
     
  11. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    I mean I don't plan in going back until baba is 7months but I don't want to give up! I've siesta worked and I need it! But I don't want to work too much as ill miss out on things. But she's driving me nuts! It feels like she thinks i can't cope :( and now I'm worried that I won't :(
     
  12. Debida

    Debida Well-Known Member

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    Sounds to me these so called friends are completely jealous!! Tell them to mind their own business. If they say what your feeling is just wind etc I'd go on about it even more and act really excited etc and talk about it non stop, that will probably annoy them even more!! In the end they may be asking u to shut up lol!:lol:
     
  13. Kelly450

    Kelly450 Well-Known Member

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    Your friend sounds like such a delight!

    Id be seriously asking this woman what she thinks she is playing at.

    Sigh. Jealous is an understatement. She wants to be you! Xx

    Sent from my GT-I9300
     
  14. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    In the last year we got a new house, got married and now I'm pregnant... It's been a good year but she's obsessed with trying to ruin everything... She says she's just being realistic but really she's just being a pain I. The arse
     
  15. Debida

    Debida Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like ur having a great year. She is definitely jealous! Xx
     
  16. mrs_b_x

    mrs_b_x Well-Known Member

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    Just tell her that you're a glass half full kinda person and you don't appreciate her negative attitude towards things. Sounds like she's probably having a shit time and rather than admit it she's trying to get you in her boat xx
     
  17. MrsHop

    MrsHop Well-Known Member

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    Jeez! Some people are full of the joys aren't they!
     

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