My fiancé is wonderful!!!!

[So_hopeful81]

Sorry but I feel desperate to just tell you all how brilliant my OH is! I have just looked up information about down syndrome and what would be a great help for the child. One of the things that many people have suggested is speech therapy. I just looked up the local DS speech therapy group and found that they charge £10 a week! Financially my fiancé be I can afford this, but I felt sick when I looked at it! I just thought, I can't pay that much out per week. I felt guilty about how much money we were going to be spending on her! So I text my fiancé to tell him, expecting him to say the same as I thought. His response:
Anne-Marie, it'll be worth it, and it's less than 2 pints of beer on a Friday night isn't it!!!!

I just hadn't thought about it like that! He is a bloody saint! He made me so proud and made me cry! I love him so much!!!!!
Sorry for my outburst! X

 

[redbear]

Aww bless him xx

 

[So_hopeful81]

I just wanted to explain why I felt guilty in case people think I'm selfish-
I have an older daughter who doesn't get anything worth £10 a week from us. The groups that Imogen join tend to be about £50 a term. Not over £100 per term! Also speech therapy goes from 0-11 years old.. So this £10 a week will be going on for quite some time!

 

[Sleepy sue]

He's lovely and def got the best interest of your Lo at heart
Is there any help you can get from the ds association or can a referral go in via nhs as they sometimes pay for private support too.

£10 is incredibly cheap, in my job we pay £80 an hour 1-1 support though x

 

[kerry5a]

Awww that brought a tear to my eyes so I can see why it made you cry x

 

[Cazzlou]

You might get speech therapy as part of your local authority support like child development groups as these are run for children with special needs. Also you can claim from family fund once a year for things like a washer or money towards day trips etc. you can claim dla and Carers allowance too. If you need any info let me know as my mum knows about it all with having my sister

 

[hugsy]

aw thats so sweet xx

 

[l_maclean]

Thats a lovely way to say it.

I imagine it'll be hard to feel like your older daughter is missing out on things because your LO will need more for certain things. I've worked with childeren with various levels of disabilites, and most parents find it difficult to keep that balance - but i remember one saying once - that she did what it took to give her kids treats etc that kept them at the same-ish level.

At the end of the day there will be times you have to spend a little extra time or money on the LO, but that doesnt mean you love imogen any less. An hour 1-1 with you might be enough to balance that out - even if its something completely free like spending an hour baking together - kids dont place as much value on money as they do your time and attention.

When i was little i was a very very active and social child - i did every kind of class going - but my brother held absolutely no interest in things like that - he'd maybe try them once or twice - and neither of us ever thought about the amount of money my dance classes, shoes, costumes, swimming lessons, travel, piano lessons, exams etc cost in comparison to what he did - which was usually playing in the street. Im sure your daughter wont worry, especiallly if she's enjoying her own activities. xxx

 

[Nurse 26]

aww, thats lovely hun, he sounds like hes being a fantastic support xx

 

[Lulabell]

Bless him.xx

 

[BabyBrain]

Oh bless him!!!! they are adorable really even if we do moan about them sometimes xxxxxxxx

 

[redbear]

I do think its expencive for something that she needs, is there any help you can get to help pay?
Im sure that your other daughter won't even notice that she doesn't get £10 a week worth of stuff, She will probably be happy just spending some time with you colouring and drawing or anything like that it doesnt have to cost a lot xx

 

[leannesxb]

when shes old enough Makaton can be a massive help I have used this with alot of children including a girl with downs and my own nephew. Its similar to baby signing but is not really used as a sign language more for prompting the right word for things!!

If you contact the makaton society you can get the lessons free. I did. Just for future reference.

What a gorgeous guy you have there. xxx

 

[benjis mum]

That's brilliant that he is so supportive, she is a lucky girl to have 2 wonderful caring parents. I'm sure you will qualify for certain benefits like DLA which will help and she'll probably get free NHS speech therapy but my experience can be that there are larger gaps between appointments, shorter sessions etc. This 1-1 support will be fairly intensive and could make such a difference to your LO (and Imogen's)

Good luck - i've followed your story all the way along and think you are the bravest, most positive mum i've come across. Your girls are lucky to have you

 

[BevG]

aww thats lovely and hes right, if it helps her you will find a way to make it happen.
on the sibling side one thing ive seen and heard a lot of it that ppl with children with special needs can be a little too indulgent of bad behaviour because they dont understand as easily and the other children can feel like that child gets away with everything. it is totally possible to hold all the children to the same standards of behaviour and i hope i dont offend or annoy anyone when i say that imo its necessary to expect the same standard and keep the same rules for all kids regardless of ability. i actually think the children with special needs can benefit from clear rules and expectations more than other kids.

 

[l_maclean]

aww thats lovely and hes right, if it helps her you will find a way to make it happen.
on the sibling side one thing ive seen and heard a lot of it that ppl with children with special needs can be a little too indulgent of bad behaviour because they dont understand as easily and the other children can feel like that child gets away with everything. it is totally possible to hold all the children to the same standards of behaviour and i hope i dont offend or annoy anyone when i say that imo its necessary to expect the same standard and keep the same rules for all kids regardless of ability. i actually think the children with special needs can benefit from clear rules and expectations more than other kids.

Ive seen that as well bev. The other option is that they indulge the child without special needs so that they dont feel like their missing out, resulting in them being very spoilt. I dont suppose its easy to find a balanace if you have a child with very extreme special needs - its definitely not something i'd like to try and balance. xxx

 

[So_hopeful81]

Hopefully I won't do this! My fiancé and I have a very strong opinion of why sort of behaviour we expect from Imogen. We have already talked about the fact that we will expect our second child to behave as beautifully as Imogen does (most of the time!) we won't be using her downs syndrome as an excuse for any sort of bad behaviour! Luckily this expectation is already within me after all of my years as a teacher- my own daughters will not get away with anything, just as the children in my class don't! Ha!

 

[titch]

you will be entitled to disability living allowance which could pay for stuff like this too

 

[titch]

private speech therapy is £50 per hour and more for a specialist, which you'd really want, as youd want someone with specialist knowledge in your childs needs.

 

[redbear]

private speech therapy is £50 per hour and more for a specialist, which you'd really want, as youd want someone with specialist knowledge in your childs needs.

£50 an hour Jesus where do these people get there prices from!?! I would have thought the goverment would fund things like this a lot as who can afford that even with DLA? It sounds like £10 a week is actually a good price then and surley they will be specialist or they wouldn't run the group would they? x