Mum to be with mental illness

[Hannahjaynev]

Hi Ladies,

I was wondering if any of you have experienced mental illness or have a mental illness and have children/pregnant.

Im 5+2 and its my very first pregnancy, so im terrified.

I have borderline personality disorder and depression. A lot of my family dont think i can do this with my illness, but im determined to prove them wrong and raise this baby the best i possibly can.

Does anyone have any advice or can they recommend any books to help with my situation.

Love hannah xx

 

[mylullaby]

I'd use the comments from family who don't think you can do it to fuel your determination to prove them wrong. I can't recommend any books (although I'm sure you'll find someone here who can) but I do have a friend who suffers from depression and she's an incredible mum to a little boy and a little girl.

 

[kat1988]

I have an anxiety disorder and depression and I'm a bloody good mum (if I do say so myself!) I don't know of any books but if u ever want to chat just send me a message.

it doesn't have to affect your ability to be a parent at all but u do have to be aware of a few things, if you're on any medication talk to your midwife/doctor about the effects on the baby, with some there's no risk to the baby with others they recommend u lower the dose or come off them completely during tri 3 to avoid the baby getting withdrawals. it's also really important u look after yourself and ask for help if u need it, u know your illness and yourself better than anyone else, while your pregnant you're obviously responsible for another life as well and that doesn't go away once the baby's here either!

now I've rambled on, sorry! I guess what I'm trying to say is u don't need to worry, just be responsible like any parent really!

 

[Em91]

I was in a very similar situation to you, I had Bpd & ptsd diagnosed as a teenager, I spent a lot of time in psychiatric wards between the age of 14-18. I used to dissociate serverly and was on several meds. I was in general after an OD id known nothing about only 3 weeks before finding out I was pregnant!

I had a good job, stable home & a great OH but I was petrified that I would be a rubbish parent and people kept saying I wouldn't cope.
I Haven't had any dissociation, sh since the day I found out I was expecting. It gave me the kick up the bum I needed to seek help and actually sort myself out. I did have to come off all meds which was hard, but it was worth it to protect baby
My little girl is now a happy healthy 14mth old and im fine. I wont lie theres days I want to give up and go back to my old ways but I just have to look at Olivia and I remember why I carry on.
Just make sure you have the support from your cpn etc. You will be considered a high risk pregnancy anyway so should be offered lots of support.
Prove those doubters wrong! X
If you ever want a chat youre welcome to pm me x
Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Doodles]

Hi hun, just wanted to say your not alone I was on anti-depresents until I found out I was pregnant & stopped them, it's safe to take some but for personal reasons I chose not to, & suffer depression, anxiety, paranoid tendencies & in the words of my doctor "showing signs of borderline dementia & psychotic thoughts" which led to me having a breakdown last year & having a short stay in a mental hospital. At one point during my pregnancy it got so bad that I considered suicide. BUT I was ok (with help) & you will be too. I don't know for any books but the important thing is that if you need help you ask for it & make sure you get the support you feel you need. If you need to talk, please feel free to drop me a message. It's hard work & it's scary but my illness does not define me & I refuse to let it determine what type of mother I will be xx

 

[redbear]

Just wanted to throw my ten pence in, ive never had depression problems but im going to the dr because im getting depressed every time of the month so she will be giving me some hormone stabilisers. no one knows if they will be effected pnd is more common than we think and can happen to anyone no matter what there situation so we all take that risk really and your no different why shouldn't you have a baby you might cope better than someone without your problems! xx

 

[girly2007]

I have OCD (real ocd, not the kind that people flippantly say they have when they like to keep their house tidy - that annoys me so much) and anxiety. I have no worries at all about my ability to be a good mum. I am worried that my condition will worsen when baby comes and I'm so anxious about the birth.

Make sure you ask for help when you need it. Don't let anyone tell you you can't be a good mum just because you have an illness xxx

 

[k8_005]

I am fortunate to hav no mh problems but I think you are a brave lady and you can be an excellent mother if you want to. Actively seek help make sure your partner understands and gives additional support and don't let those who say you can't do it stop you. Wish you the best of luck motherhood is hard work and I hav days I have cried but it's worth it and a good support network helps x

 

[Lou12]

Hi Hannah, welcome to the forum - and a big congratulations on your BFP!

I don't have a mental health problem, but I do work for a mental health trust. As Emma said, your pregnancy will be considered high risk, so you should get the support right from the word go - and if not,ask for it! It's so important to keep in touch with your support network. I'm guessing you have a CPN - have you let them know yet?

Anyhoo, again a big congratulations - enjoy your pregnancy!!! xx

 

[CeeCee]

Hi, just thought I'd share my story with you.

I was diagnosed with BPD a few years back, and god forbid the amount of people who thought I 'wouldn't cope' was amazing - they were that worried, someone even wrote an anonymous letter to the hospital stating I may need support..

Here I am now, a single mom, Grace is almost six months old..

Everyone tells me how much of a 'good job' im doing, how well I look after her, how happy and content she is.

I have quit smoking, going to start studying psychology & criminology and also undergoing driving lessons.

My life has changed so much for the better and I put it all down to Grace.

You'll do just fine.

xx

 

[Baby Bean]

I've just seen this. One of my best friends has bpd and depression and has a 3yr old. She's been a single mum for the last year and has also been diagnosed with ms recently. If she can do it alone then you'll be fine hun! Just make sure you keep those around you who are going to support you xxx

 

[Mum2betash]

Hey, I've had OCD since a kid, anorexia, anxiety disorder, extreme insecurity and depression. I had my mum telling me when I was pregnant saying I would have my child taken away as I wouldn't be able to cope, am I doing the right thing, i'll have pnd no doubt blah blah blah. It upset me and i did doubt myslef. Well I can tell you I am a fantastic mum to my daughter, she makes me so happy and I'm coping perfectly fine! There is no better feeling in the world than being a mummy. It sure helped with my depression. You will be absolutely fine! xx

 

[Hannahjaynev]

Thank you so much for all your stories and words of support, Has made me feel loads better.

Love Hannah

x

 

[Mum2betash]

Good luck with your pregnancy and enjoy it xx

 

[EmmaJ_4]

Hi Everyone,

I have been suffering with anxiety since my 3rd baby who was born nov 2014. I lost my granddad just before the birth and really struggled to cope with day to day life.
I couldn't even go to the front door without having a panic attack, after 3 months I was determined to go to the doctor to get help. I wanted to be able to take my eldest to his first day at school. I felt as a mum that was my job. slowly I got there with lots of support from my family and husband. school runs I find hard still but getting easier. I still have my bad days.
I have been on several medications. I was on a high venlafaxine but since finding out I'm pregnant with #4 ive come straight down and about to come onto citalopram.

I'm very nervous about how I'm going to cope but determined to push through for the baby and my other 3 children.

its comforting to know there are others that are going through the same.

Emma xx