More advice for new Mum!!!!

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by hels, Feb 21, 2006.

  1. hels

    hels Well-Known Member

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    Lucy your not on your own hun!!! I think there are a few of us that are feeling a little'green' in motherhood!
    Can any one give me a little advice or even reasure me that im not failing my baby in any way???
    Charlotte is 2 weeks today, Since we have been home she has been an angel, and has even slept through 12-6 on 3 occasions. last night was different. As usual she fed continually from 7pm until midnight, usually taking very little, and being sick quite a bit after some of the feeds. When i put her in her moses basket she screamed and screamed, as soon as i picked her up she was hapy and content, this went on until 1.30am, until i had to wake OH (who gets up at 6 for work) and say that i couldnt do it any more. Now i feel like a failure cos i had to pass her to daddy who managed to settle her eventually. I was crying all morning scared cos he was going to work and leaving me with Charlie and OH son all day, wondering 'what if...' Do you think She smells the milk on me and thats why she settles more with Simon? Do you believe ill make a rod for my own back by picking her up everytime she cries??
    I DO realise that this is part of having a gorgeous new babe, and i have been really lucky so far, i think im feeling a little lonely and a bit useless. I keep thinking im really not cut out for motherhood. OH is fab, he does more than his share, and works 14 hour days.
    Im sorry this is simlar to other posts, but i promised (OH)id ask for some help today, i think he meant asking my mum to come over (1+1/2away) But this is the best place i know to get some help!!! Plus i dodnt want people knowing that i havent coped too well.


    I sound a complete idiot complaining about one night of being awake all night, im sorry!!
     
  2. Steelers fan

    Steelers fan Well-Known Member

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    Hi hon, my advice call your mum tell her u had a torid night and need some sleep!!!! Ifelt just like you but my mum lives away and so I called the m in law! not easy for me but I did, she had a whale of a time looking after Oliver and I got some kip,win win. Your not a bad mum just knackered like the rest of us. And as for picking up when crying.... well heres me typing with 1 hand cos Oliver was crying for no reason but wanted a cuddle now hes asleep in my arms (until i put him down...lol)
    get some sleep, and use your parents, they have to be good for something!!!!!! They wont think u cant cope they will be glad to help and play the dotting gparents as well as looking after their own little girl!
     
  3. hels

    hels Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Hun, Mum is an hour and a half away and would have to come on the train, so i really dont want to ask her, All my friends are that far away too.
    Think im just feeling a little down. :(
     
  4. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    I have had this happen to me a number of times, Seren jhas screamed for ages whilst I walked around rocking her etc, then OH came along, picked her up and managed to get her into bed asleep. I too felt like a failure bit was told by my HV that it can be because they smell your milk or it can be because you yourself are getting tense due to the crying and crying gets mums tense (its what it is designed for) whereas dads tend to be a bit more laidback. Therefore baby picks up your emotions but dad is calmer and this calms baby down. This does not make you a failure as there will be tmes when only mummy will clam baby down and then OH feels bad (thats happened here too). I personally think that you are not making a rod for your own back as babies this young cry for a reason, and this might be just to be close to you. I will still pick up Seren when she cries, the only time I have left her is in her crib whe she grizzles but I am just next door listening to her. I haven't found that it has made her cry more (Steeler's fan - i am also now typing one handed as seren just woke up :wink: ) I would also ask your mum, I didn't ask for help for ages and have been very anxious. My sister picked up on this and came down for a week (she lives 280 miles away) and it was the best week i have had. Bet your mum would love it too. xxx
     
  5. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Crying for no reason.... it's totally normal and one of those things that makes your first few weeks so difficult. Try and get some sleep as that really helps- I got really desperate when he cried and I was tired but if I'd just had some decent sleep it was so much easier. If she is not hungry, or wet it could well be some kind of sleepiness. Elliott seemed unable to get himself to sleep- especially in the evenings to begin with. He'd be fine up to a point and then he'd start wailing and we'd try to put him to bed but he wouldn't go down- I think looking back on it he was actually tired but we missed the signs until he was too tired to settle himself- a totally odd baby thing where they get too tired to sleep!!! I wish there was some magic solution but I think really we just got better at spotting when he was tired (he couldn't manage more than 2 hours of being awake at once) and he also grew out of it at about 5 weeks.

    It's tough but it sounds like you're doing a great job. Hang on in there is really does get easier and it's just round the corner- honest :) Those first 6 weeks were the longest of my life- these past 6 have been some of the best. :)

    +++
     
  6. Lucy

    Lucy Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hels

    This forum is brilliant and the advice and experiences has made me feel a million times better about my ability and the situation.

    I've sent u a pm hun.

    With family and friends far away it makes it more difficult to get immediate support eh, shame not more of us live closer together so we could meet up.
    Thank goodness for "virtual" support of this forum.

    Lucy
    Olivia 1 wk 3 days
     

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