Moan moan whinge whine...

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by Tiny Sue, Dec 30, 2005.

  1. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

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    Guys...

    Help me out here. I'm increasingly tearful and sad, I resent my husband for wanting to get out of the house while I can't. While he's working very hard and we have a huge deadline coming up, he's about to become a father too, and I can't be falling apart just when baby is likely to need me most, because Dad will be busy.

    He just seems so well-adjusted about the whole thing. It's going to happen and he's looking forward to it. Why can't I be like that? Am I going to be any kind of Mum at all?

    I have been in and out of hospital for the last month, and not allowed to do anything in between. I can't drive, so my independence is gone, and needless to say, very little Christmas shopping got done because OH had so much to do. I got out for all of three hours one day and an hour another.

    I know that OH needs to go training. He's a voluntary karate instructor but it de-stresses him too. So this evening, he finished work at 9 and decided to go training for an hour. I've been cooped up all day I have a cold now too, would have liked if he'd stayed in - but he needs to get out and there's no point in both of us being cooped up is there?

    I am feeling very ambivalent about the approaching birth and if I'll enjoy the mothering experience at all. I have to say that I've been focussing very much on the negative aspects and not on the positive - like we won't be able to go out together any more, but be apart after baby is born too. As it is, we've been apart with OH working, and me in hospital or in bed, or generally out of touch - or with OH going training or going out (though he has been very good about that and won't normally go out without me - but it's Christmas).
    I feel that I will resent both he and the baby afterwards, because baby will ensure that we are not together when we should be, after the working day, and him because he's not seeing that I don't want him to go out and still I don't want to tell him because there's no reason for me to keep him prisoner.

    This doesn't seem to be making a blip on his radar - I get the feeling that he is looking forward to the baby coming, but it's my job, he's done his bit and the rest is up to me. I know this isn't true and he cares, but I wish that he would say it...like "I'll stay in." He offered to this evening but he really wanted to go out. I came in to the PC and he'd made up a little powerpoint slide show - it's something we do when one of us is feeling down. He called me Amazo-sue and had a wedding picture in and how much he loves me- and I just burst into tears, not just tears but great sobbing gulps and couldn't stop for 10 minutes. Am I depressed or what?

    I am beginning to think that I am going crazy.

    Does anyone think that I am being silly? Is anyone else feeling the same way? I've had such a tough time emotionally over the last couple of months but I feel that even though he is supportive, I am alone with this and likely to have to cope alone, because he'll be out meeting deadlines, which he has to do or the business goes down the tubes.

    I am also becoming a moaner. Most of my posts in here are moany, and I am generally becoming a person that I don't like.

    End of moan. After my weep I feel better, but still crappy. Don't even reply, guys. I just needed to set this down.

    Sue
     
  2. ToriElla

    ToriElla Well-Known Member

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    Aw sue :( try not to beat yourself up about everything so much. It sounds like your on a rollarcoaster of hormones at the minute. I'm sure things will settle down in due course. It's natural to have ups and downs and to stress about what later seems like silly things when you are pg. You should try talking to your hubby though if it is upsetting you - he might not have picked up on how you are feeling.

    Hope you feel better soon x
     
  3. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

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    Don't worry Sue

    I am still feeling like this as well.

    Over the past couple of days I have been focussing mostly on the negative aspects as well.

    Not everyone is over-excited about things.

    I am terrified of the first couple of weeks and how hard it is going to be to bring home a baby to the house and how much adjusting needs to be done.

    I am more worried about bringing him home than the labour itself.

    Keep talking, don't be afraid to let out all your worries. Thats what we're here for.

    Also don't forget to PM me if it gets too much.

    Take care of yourself.
     
  4. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    (((((((((((((Hugs Sue)))))))))))))))))

    xx
     
  5. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

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    :D

    yep - I would say it was definitely a hormone low yesterday. I got up this morning feeling fine. Granted I had a talk with hubby lastnight, and he told me he had been feeling stressed too but hadn't said anything because he felt that I was worrying enough.

    I also got out for a couple of hours today which did wonders for my spirits if not my ankles ( girth has increased to the width of my knees, ladies :shock: ), and as a result came back home and went to bed before my OH cooked dinner (wow - not because he isn't willing but because he's not great in the kitchen) and we are meeting his parents for an early evening drink.

    I guess it was a lot of that, plus pre-eclampsia and maternal depression are linked, which I didn't know.

    I had better go now, I'm being called.

    Thanks for all the support and messages folks. *HUG* I was on a downer yesterday but I'm ok now. More later.

    Sue
     
  6. *saulino*

    *saulino* Well-Known Member

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    Hello glad you are feeling better and take care.
    Katrina
     
  7. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

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    I also want to thank you guys for all the help and support and encouraging words over the last while. I tend to focus on the negative aspects of life in general and it's only when something is done that I feel that, "hey this wasn't so bad after all"...the same applied to getting married! I think my poor husband's in for a rough time of this!

    Anyway, I will definitely be back on during the week and when I get a chance will PM you , Sarah. Right now the PC is at a premium because OH is working hard too!

    I am now one week from my induction date...fingers crossed and I'll be seeing you guys!

    Happy new Year!

    Sue
     
  8. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    if i dont speak to you before your induced then good luck sue!

    xxx
     
  9. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

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    No worries Sue

    Glad you are feeling better.

    I too feel more positive today.

    I spoke to my neighbour this morning and she reminded me that she has had four babies and all I have to do is knock on her door if I am having a crisis, so I feel a lot better now.

    PM me if you need to and best of luck with your induction if we don't hear from you before.

    Take Care
     

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