Miscarried

[Keira]

Found out today that I was right, I did miscarry on saturday. I knew I had but getting it confirmed today felt even worse. I feel numb, completly. Nobody knows what to say and I don't myself.

I feel so guilty about how I felt when I found out, because I'd give anything now to still be pregnant.

I can't even put into words how I feel. Best way to describe it is just that I feel there is a big gap in my life now. Finding it really hard to get my head around it. Saturday night I was lying in bed thinking of how I'd need to arrange my room when the baby came then realised there is no baby anymore. It's so so hard to say that...that there is no baby anymore.

Just need to know when I'll stop feeling like this?

 

[sarah113]

 

[andreag]

I am very sorry for your loss - I will never forget that empty hollow feeling afterwards. It does get easier to bear, although I don't think you ever really get over it. I'm heading towards my lost baby's due date and dreading it, even though I'm pregnant again. You do learn to live with it though. Take your time and don't expect too much of yourself - you need time to grieve. Take care of yourself

 

[Becs]

Found out today that I was right, I did miscarry on saturday. I knew I had but getting it confirmed today felt even worse. I feel numb, completly. Nobody knows what to say and I don't myself.

I feel so guilty about how I felt when I found out, because I'd give anything now to still be pregnant.

I can't even put into words how I feel. Best way to describe it is just that I feel there is a big gap in my life now. Finding it really hard to get my head around it. Saturday night I was lying in bed thinking of how I'd need to arrange my room when the baby came then realised there is no baby anymore. It's so so hard to say that...that there is no baby anymore.

Just need to know when I'll stop feeling like this?

Dear Keira,
I am so sorry to read that you are in that place. I was there once last year and remember thinking I would never stop feeling retched! Please know that you will recover. You will always love the baby you lost as if you are still carrying it in your heart - you always will. Somehow as time passes you just become stronger. Your mind will stop racing and you will find a way through. The biggest thing to remember is that it can still hit you suddenly even when you think you are getting better, so please go gently with yourself and focus on your gentle recovery and take it slowly. You need to allow yourself to adjust. You won't be the same again as now you have been a mum and you are different, you need to allow yourself to become the changed you and not think you will be exactly the same as before you were pregnant. You will be happy again, I promise and if you want to have a baby one day you will be successful. I did and so do most.
In the meantime, please feel free to pm me if you need support.
God bless your little one.
All my love,
Becs x x x

 

[Jade&Evie]

I'm so sorry xxx

 

[HollyHobby]

Keira I'm so so sorry

Just feel how you feel is the answer for as long as you feel how you do. Everyone handles these things differently.
I think I've handled mine very well as I knew from the off this wasn't going to to last I didnt have any 'planning' thoughts, or got excited about anything as I knew something was wrong before i even got a bfp. When it comes unexpectidly then it's got to be far far worse to cope with, I don't know how people cope with that - I think just give yourself time to grieve is the answer and then find some closure.
I am going to bury my bfp's in the garden with a letter as my final closure.

I felt like even though I hadnt even gone 7 weeks that I felt like i should then have a baby before me, that going from feeling pregnant to suddenly not is hard, and you feel you should have something to show for that, I bet youre feeling the same way.

 

[Anna23]

I am very sorry for your loss - I will never forget that empty hollow feeling afterwards. It does get easier to bear, although I don't think you ever really get over it. I'm heading towards my lost baby's due date and dreading it, even though I'm pregnant again. You do learn to live with it though. Take your time and don't expect too much of yourself - you need time to grieve. Take care of yourself

i agree with andreag its been 9 weeks since my mmc sendling loads of these

 

[*sara*]

So sorry

 

[Becky]

I am very sorry for your loss - I will never forget that empty hollow feeling afterwards. It does get easier to bear, although I don't think you ever really get over it. I'm heading towards my lost baby's due date and dreading it, even though I'm pregnant again. You do learn to live with it though. Take your time and don't expect too much of yourself - you need time to grieve. Take care of yourself

i agree with andreag its been 9 weeks since my mmc sendling loads of these

andreag is right, it takes a while but you do get there. I lost a baby last year and felt so numb and guilty for feeling numb but it's better now. I'll never forget but I can live life and be happy. Just give yourself time to come to terms with it.

 

[A&J]

 

[Keira]

Thank you all for your messages.

HollyHobby I am also going to bury my baby, just trying to think of a suitable place.

 

[chellieboo]

so sorry to read of your loss

 

[Tina & Gabs]

I'm so sorry

 

[Jaidy]

So sorry for your loss Keira. Please take care of yourself and we are all thinking of you

 

[HollyHobby]

Thank you all for your messages.

HollyHobby I am also going to bury my baby, just trying to think of a suitable place.

I've read of people going to the woods when theyve not had a garden, it sounds kind of spiritual to me - woods are peaceful spiritual places

 

[dina.marie]

im so sorry

 

[Keira]

Yeah I don't have a garden myself, I could bury the baby in my mum's but if she moved I'd be heartbroken at the thought of it.

I was thinking about the woods just want to try and find a nice spot.

Thanks for all your kindness and support. I'm just trying to keep my mind off it to be honest, which isn't easy really.

The doctors rang today about my first hospital appointment and I had to say I had miscarried which was hard because I haven't really said it aloud

 

[puppylove]

Hi Keira, im so sorry to hear of your loss, your baby will always be in your thoughts it will get a little easier with time but it will take time for it to get a little better, you are in my thoughts