MIL problems, advice really needed.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Tiggy26, Dec 5, 2007.

  1. Tiggy26

    Tiggy26 Well-Known Member

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  2. Lindsay

    Lindsay Well-Known Member

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    I don't really know what to say but wanted to send you hugs :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    Xxx
     
  3. mrs_tommo22

    mrs_tommo22 Well-Known Member

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    She sounds like a selfish, throughly nasty vindictive woman whoexpects you all to jump to her tune and im glad you dont! You all sound better off without and your baby is too. Do you really want to be patronised and have your baby feel all the negativity she brings out on you all?

    My advice is that she will never change, my mother is a right bitch and myself and my kids dont go near her, as shes not worth the bother and pain.

    Dont let your own child feel the rejection :hug: i do understand how you feel
     
  4. Krystal

    Krystal Well-Known Member

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    aww i'm so sorry :hug: I feel for you but have no idea what to say cos I can see your in such a hard situation.

    Just wanna give you these and hope you sort it out somehow. i hope someone in similar situation can advise you better :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  5. sazzylou

    sazzylou Well-Known Member

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    im sorry your having such a crap time :cry: :hug:

    My best friend gets treated like this a lot from her MIL. Her OH did everything for his mum, but when he met and moved in with my friend, she went all funny. Then when they had a baby together and got engaged she went even worse. Shes fine with his sister though. It was like she was jelous that he was getting on with his life, and kind of punishing him for it by being such a cow. Shes still a cow to my friend and its sad because theyve had to distance themselves from her. He once said to his mum that he had to spend some time with his family (my friend and their baby, not including his mum) and she didnt speak to them for weeks. It was pure jekously. Unfortunatly it diesnt look like shes gonna change and theyve had to learn to live with it.

    Sorry ive got no real advice, but could she be jelous of you? She sounds quite a bitter woman x :hug:
     
  6. KELLYXX

    KELLYXX Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun, i really dont know what to say but you and your OH definetley need these :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  7. Tiggy26

    Tiggy26 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for your replies ladies,

    mrs_tommo22 - The odd thing is....when MIL wants to be nice she can be really nice, it doesnt happen very much from what i see & thats becuase she disrespects OH all the time infront of me and even his own family & thats what makes me soooooo angry!!!!

    I could never stop his mum from seeing our baby as I know that would destroy OH & id never want to hurt him, however im getting the feeling that she may not pay much interest in our baby anyway & thats quite upsetting for me too :cry:

    You are right in lots of ways when you say that its not nice for our baby to be around negative people and what scares me the most is if MIL disrespects OH infornt of his own son, I think at that point I would hit the roof and wouldnt be able to control what I say. Its just so upsetting for all this to be happening, my head is spinning and im really upset about it all, and thats just me. OH is feeling very rock bottom about it all.

    sazzylou - I think you are also right, I even said this to OH myself but OH is the kinda man to keep his opinions and feelings to himself and i diddnt really get much responce. But yes....i do think a lot of it is jelousy!! I have reason to beleive this as my OH's Brother also has this problem with his OH. It seems to be the same for any "felmale" that joins the family and starts a life with MIL's sons! What scares me is that becuase MIL doesnt get on with her others sons OH she hardley ever sees her other grandchildren or makes any effort at all with them and im worried the same will happen with us.

    OH has been so strong about all this and I admire him for sticking to his guns. I really want him to be happy but at the same time I also know that he will not be happy unless this is resolved with his mum, but even if it is on this occasion.....shes going to be like this for the rest of our lives and will always want to pick an argument and start a fued with someone in the family.

    Unfortunatly MIL is not someone you can reason with & its be tried many times. So it looks like we will either have to "put up & shut up" or have very little to do with her, and if im honest, having little to do with her will really hurt OH.

    Argggggg :wall: :wall: :wall:
     
  8. mrs_tommo22

    mrs_tommo22 Well-Known Member

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    I really hope this comes to a happy ending hunni fpr you and your husband as it must hurt him quite deeply.

    I wouldnt want your child going through the rejection thst my son went through from my mum.
     
  9. skimpy

    skimpy Well-Known Member

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    OMG!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: what a biatch :wall: :wall: :wall:


    I feel soooo sorry for you. this is such a hard one.

    the only thing i feel like writing is short and sweet.


    will he distance himself from them? you dont need that aggro in your life, and your life will be happier without pandering to MIL all the time to get it thrown back in your face.


    talking in a foreign tongue in front of you is the most ignorant thing of all, and i certainly wouldnt put up with it.

    she sounds like a witch.

    what about y our family, how do you get on with them??

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  10. Tiggy26

    Tiggy26 Well-Known Member

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    My parents are divorsed. I hardley ever see my Dad as he is more interested in his "new" family, i never hear from him & he hardley ever visits or invites us round. If i dont contact him or tell him im coming over to see him id never see him!

    My mother is trying to make up for things now as she was never there for me as a child and put me through quite a horrid childhood. My mother has shown lots of interest since ive been pregnant & is always coming round on Tuesdays and inviting me and OH round for dinner e.t.c I think this is her "new" chance to make up for things and is so excited about being a granny.

    This is why I really want MIL & OH to sort things out, even though she gives us a hard time & doesnt really like me, she has always been there for OH through his life, he had a very happy childhood and was given a lot of love. That is something I cannot knock, if anything its me that should cut all ties with my family but instead quite the opposit has happened and its OH's family that have turned all funny.

    I will do anything to keep OH happy, even if it means putting up with his mum, I just know she will continue to hurt him in the future and because OH is sensitive deep down (she knows it) she will continue to hurt him.

    Weird thing is.........she has been like this for years, its always OH that isnt good enough for her, all her other children are "perfect" One day I can see OH telling her to F***k off, there is only so much he can take.
     
  11. skimpy

    skimpy Well-Known Member

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    im going through a similar situation to you then. my OH is being treated differently to his bro, and with our bun in the oven, it makes you wonder how it will get treated by them, if my OH is second to his bro. I hope i am a good mam that treats my children the same. no matter how old you get, the favouritism thing still hurts :cry:

    It is good that your relationship with your mam is on the mend :) we all need our mams around us during times like these. Hang in there chick, maybe your MIL will be different when she becomes a granny ;)

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  12. Tiggy26

    Tiggy26 Well-Known Member

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    Im sorry to hear you are going through similar, i really do know how you feel hun & I know how much you and OH are hurting, its not nice at all, I hope we both find a happy ending to all this. :cry:

    MIL already has 5 other grandchildren, 3 of them hardley ever get to see her due to the fact she has pushed her other sons OH away like she is with me and OH. As far as she is concerened she has 2 "perfect" grandchildren which belong to her daughter who get all the love and attention.
    with all the neices & nephews, so far OH has been the only one to open bank accounts for them, take them out at weekends, treat them & buy them presents and give them all lots of love & attention. OH said to me a few months ago, he already knows that no-one (including his mum) will show our son any attention or treat him the same way OH has with all his brothers & sisters kids.

    Its not about buying gifts for or spending money its more the fact that OH just wants his family to treat his new son the same way as all the other kids and spend time with his son e.t.c and we both know that that isnt going to happen.

    All his family live within a 20 mile radius of each other and me and OH are about 1hrs drive away. MIL blames OH for being so far away and its aparently his own fault.

    What makes me sick to the stomach is that OH practically bought the house they are living in and has sacrafised so many things in his life to help his mum out and this is the way she treats him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (cheeky cow)

    If MIL treat OH with more respect id be very happy to accomodate and welcome her but to think that OH has bent over backwards and has given her everything and yet he is the one that gets pushed out the family and treat liked s***t makes me want to smack her round the face!!!

    OH is my rock and without him id be nothing, hes the (only) caring man ive ever met and has treated me like a human being, he treats people how hed like to be treated, and to see him being rejected like this makes me very protective of him, his mother will be the one that misses out and that will be her own dam fault (geeze im getting so angry now)
     

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