Mil is doing my head in!

[Vic27]

My mil is acting like a weirdo! I've been with my husband for 10 years and actually used to live with my mil when we were younger we generally get on very well and she's a pretty easy going person. My husband is an only child and his mum and dad split after 22 years of marriage a few years back. She has been desperate for a grandchild for years and we would never hear the end of it so when we told her we were expecting her first grandchild she was delighted which was so nice to see. However since then I've hardly seen or spoken to her, now don't get me wrong i don't expect her to b calling me all the time she's not my mother but it would b nice to b asked how I am now and again but she hasn't phoned texted face booked once not once! She bumped into my little sister today in town and asked how I was wtf?' Pick up the phone and find out for yourself! It's also my baby shower on sun and she keeps asking my sis where is it and wot time again she's been told so many times the details that I think she is doin it for badness! Oh and she isn't bringing the babies present on sun as she doesn't want to carry it about are u kidding me?! She's going into my husbands car to the venue! She hasn't offered to help with anything or asked if we need anything either! She was the exact same at the wedding I tried to involve her but she couldn't have cared less and made a total show of herself at my hen night in front of my friends and family who now think she is a joke! She even talked about one of my closest friends at my hen and my other friends heard her I only hope to god the one she was bitching bout didn't hear her cos she never said anything thing is she had never met her before then! I'm dreading my baby shower now as I don't know how she'll act plus its all tge same people as my hen awkward or wot!? Aaaarrrrrggghhhh! Sorry for long rant but my blood is boiling! X

 

[umbongo]

Eurgh, sounds like a nightmare!! Families can be a pain! I don't know what to advise except to not let it get to you. It's not worth it and you don't need, the stress. I hope the baby shower goes well. Your friends will love to see you regardless of embarrassing relatives, we all have them! x

 

[k8_005]

No advice hun but big hugs didnt want to read and run xb

 

[Haylian]

Mil can be so frustrating, my mil is exactly the same, not really interested and showed no interest in our wedding. And even now she still doesn't call or txt or anything. I feel for you Hun but try not to let it get you mad just try to rise above it xx

 

[amanda maxwell]

My mil is the same unfortunately. Its my mums first grandchild plus im an only child so shes been phoning all the time (as she cant get here much as we live 4 hours away and my mum and dad don't drive) but shes been sending me money, shes bought a shed load of stuff plus big stuff like pram, but my partners mum has done nothing. Admittedly she has 13 other grandchildren lol so I don't expect them to be shelling out for stuff for us, but she only lives 15 mins up the road, we've been moved in here since November and shes come round once and never phones! I just ignore it now but its sort of always in the back of my mind. With all her other grandchildren she has been excited knitting little bits for them but ive heard nothing that shes doing that for me. My mum said the other day that an old lady down her road is knitting me a cot blanket and I don't even know her!

Maybe it'll be different for you when your baby is born, maybe she'll make the effort but they can be a bit funny, especially as they start getting older.

Its quite embarrassing as my mum asked if his mum and dad are helping us out at all as we don't have much money but im always fobbing it off.

Dw bout it hun, just enjoy your baby shower with your friends and don't stress bout her. Enjoy xxx

 

[Sam2013]

I sympathise girls my mil lives 5/10mins away n car and she only been round like 3 times since we have moved in nearly 2 years ago x my mums buying my pram for me and she has offered to buy nothing and keeps saying she's bought we things but won't let me see em - her n I don't have the same taste in stuff so il pprob not like it x when she rings and I only answer cos I dnt have a choice she constantly is like is alistair who is my husband there she never talks to me x also she has constantly called bump peanut and I hate it but she knows it annoys me ad I think that's y she does it uh mil's lol x

 

[Vic27]

Glad I'm not the only one! I try to talk to my oh bout it but he's just a typical guy and I know it must b hard from his point of view but he just keeps saying well say something to her if ur that bothered which I suppose is a fair point but I feel like he should say something to her as I'm his wife and I'm carrying his son! The guy she's with is a total prick I really don't like him he has clearly cheated on her more than once and gets jealous if she doesn't give him all her attention this is a 50 year old grown man btw wot a loser! I feel like he has had an effect on the way she has been also. I'm just gonna have to let it go over my head and accept that this is the way it is and she ain't gonna change its just a bit frustrating and also hurtful and I feel like dh makes excuses for her which I'm sick of hearing she's an adult and knows better! She couldn't make it any clearer that she doesn't wanna go to my baby shower on sun but I couldn't care less now shell prob b late too it was the same scenario at my hen don't know wot her problem is! Thanks for listening ladies and nice to know I'm not alone x

 

[Positive37]

Didnt want to read and run Vic try not to let her worry you , you have a lovely family your close to your sister so let her do what she wants. MIL are difficult creatures eh.
i have opposite my MIL first grandchild and shes not stopped buying clothes etc and think we will struggle to keep her away when we come home shes like 10mins around corner.
I do moan that she only talks about baby and never really asks how I feel or how im doing, hard to change how others react although i do try myself Vic
big hugs and baby shower be fab !! xxxx

 

[BKR123]

This sounds terrible! Just keep smiling

Your OH's response sounds very similar to that of mine OH! His Nan seems to think that I am incapable of doing anything, and I know she might just be trying to care - its her first great grandchild, but she underminds everything I do! When we go over, which I really am trying to avoid doing, she doesn't let me breathe - kinda the opposite of you MIL! She asks if I want a drink and I will say no thankyou and she will go on and on, how about coke? water? squash? tea? a nice glass of milk? when I say no thanks, she gets really huffy with me telling me I should think of "baba" and not just myself (I really dont like the word 'baba' and she knows this!) and I don't see the point in forcing fluids down my throat when I dont want a drink!! His nan and my nan are really rude about my job too, telling me they dont think I'm ever going to qualify as a nurse because I'm a 'bit thick' - regaudless of the fact I have 11 A*-B GCSE's, I'm 'not the brightest'
We had all his family over for a BBQ the other week, nearly al his family smoke and I HATE it! I asked my OH to tell his fmaily to not smoke near me or my house because I didnt want my house smelling like fags and I dont think I should have to put up with them smoking near me, but he didnt tell them! They were all lighting up around me and it really upset me, I asked him to tell them to stop and he said 'its you thats got the problem with it, you tell them' - gosh was I mad!
His mum wasnt very supportive of the pregnancy at all, and I think they were really angry at me because of it. Not really very fair seeing as it definilty takes two!! She didnt really talk to me for ages and even now, she doesnt talk to me about it. Its herfirst grandchild and she seems so uninteressted its unreal. Yeah, shes bought baby grows and stuff, but I would really prefer her to ask me about the pregnancy and see how it is - even with all the problems I have had shes not asked how I am :/

anyway, sorry for invading your thread!! Hope you sort you MIL out soon !

 

[amanda maxwell]

Blimey aint MIL's a pain in the arse!!! good to know non of us are alone tho

 

[Vic27]

Thanks girls I'm not even stressing bout it anymore its not worth it she's a pain and its her loss so she can do wot she likes! Mil's who'd have em eh lol?! X