Might as well be on my own!

[Lou1103]

On way to the hospital for our blood tests and all i said to oh was 'what r u gonna say if they ask if you smoke' n he snapped 'well i'm not going to lie!' And i see that as him not caring less about our situation. I dont see why they will help us if he can't even be arsed to quit smoking. And then out of nowhere he just shouted at me
'Shut the f up' i couldnt believe it. He also said 'i dont even know why we're having these tests its obvious u cant carry them'
So an already stressful day is made worse and now i'm crying in the waiting room. I swear he just wants me to say 'oh forget it'.
And even in the shop, i havent had anythin to eat or drink so wanted a snack and then he moans about choc for breakfast and storms off.

 

[AJay]

Oh hun, I am so sorry. He has said some unpleasant things to you this morning. Stress shouldn't be an excuse! He probably isn't dealing very well with being tested and questioned and is taking it out on you. Stay strong and focus on the tests. I'll be on and off the forum all day, so message me if you need to talk further. lv n hugs xxx

 

[Lou1103]

Thanks hun. I just asked him if he wanted us to split up and he said no. Men! Hes fine now but he cant just have mental moments n then expect me to just forget it.

Just come out of the hosp, they took 8 vials of blood, make sure u have a good breakfast before u go lol xxx

 

[Blueflower]

Its not fair is it? I bet you are really considerate about his feelings and are careful what you say to him. Sometimes it doesn't work both ways and they don't consider us in the same way. Maybe its about multitasking but still isn't on. Hope the appt went ok.

 

[AJay]

Their timing eh!!! - To throw a tempremental just when you are about to go into hospital to get your tests done!! Did they ask you about lifestyle etc or simply take bloods? Hope you have had something to eat now? Can't believe his reaction to you wanting a choccy snack!!! Hope you have had a great big bar of chocolate, cookie or something equally as comforting xxx

 

[lisey]

Oh gosh, he has said some very mean things. I am sure its probably the stress of the situation but still no excuse. I hope he makes it up to you. My OH gets very defensive about my questioning of his smoking too, I think its cos they know deep down its not helping the situation but they dont like to admit it x

 

[Lou1103]

No nothing really just past medical history and if im on any medication. They warned us about the tests, they said sometimes they can bring up results of illnesses that cant be treated. Id rather know anyway though tbh. Gotta go back in 6weeks for more bloods and a scan to look at my uterus and i think thats it really.

While we were waiting i got angry and went to get a kitkat and a drink, he wanted some chocolate then the weirdo!

I am always considerate of his feelings and hes just stroppy. I know its stressful but i was staying strong until that argument and then i cried when the doctor asked me if i already had any children, so embarrassing xxx

 

[Lou1103]

Thank you ladies, it really helps to vent xxx

 

[lisey]

Hope you dont mind me asking but are these tests for miscarriages that you are having done? I only ask as thats what I will be having done as this will be my third miscarriage and I am curious to what kinds of tests they will do etc x

And vent away, this is what we are all here for. I was going to stay off forum for a while but I needed the support x

 

[Lou1103]

Yeah hun for recurrent miscarriages, the first is for chromosone analysis (so my oh only had to hAve one) but they test us for other stuff too like lupos i think she said and things to do with blood clotting so thats why they need 8. I have to go back in 6 weeks to give more for the lupos and clotting and they also scan your uterus to see the shape of it and stuff. Then when they have all the results a consultant checks them and then you have an appointment with the consultant to discuss (about 4months from now).

She said if all the tests come back fine, its just (really) bad luck xxx

 

[BevG]

hes probably really scaerdthat there might be a problem with him or that theres something thats gonna stop you from ever carryign to term hun, men are stupid like that and just get angry if their scared or worried and take it out on everyone around them

 

[lisey]

Yeah hun for recurrent miscarriages, the first is for chromosone analysis (so my oh only had to hAve one) but they test us for other stuff too like lupos i think she said and things to do with blood clotting so thats why they need 8. I have to go back in 6 weeks to give more for the lupos and clotting and they also scan your uterus to see the shape of it and stuff. Then when they have all the results a consultant checks them and then you have an appointment with the consultant to discuss (about 4months from now).

She said if all the tests come back fine, its just (really) bad luck xxx

Oh ok, thanks for the info. 4 months seems a long time to wait for results but I guess these things take time x

 

[Lou1103]

I know, these 4 months are going to be very slow! Unless they tell you 4months as a worst case scenario, i do hope thats the case lol xxx

 

[lisey]

That probably is how they do it, hopefully x

 

[CARNAT22]

Your OH was vile to you this morning, hopefully he pulls his socks up!

It can't be easy for him but stress is no excuse

My OH rarely spoke about our losses and didn't even realise the magnitude of the situation until the Dr told him how rare recurrent miscarriage is and the implications on future pregnancy. Our losses were early so I guess they never fully registered with OH.

There is never any excuse to speak to your partner in that way though.

I am glad it's all done - I had 14 vials taken with my tests - I had no idea it would be so much and I'd only had a yoghurt that morning

xxxxxxx

 

[Lou1103]

Really? All doctors keep saying to me is how common they are!! I think its supposed to make us feel better.

I know it really winds me up, i'm beginning to lose my patience with him :/ just hoping its just because he doesn't have an outlet for the stress and that it stops now we're having a break from ttc. He's a bit immature in some ways but it didn't raise its head until all of this.

Wow!! I think i would have gone to sleep there and then!
I had to have a bit of a lie down when i got back, it gave me a headache lol xxx

 

[lisey]

That has got me worried too now, I am sure I read that doctors say that most women who dont have a baby after recurrant miscarriage are the ones that stop trying. I am sure one of the women on here said that. Cant remember who though. So did they tell you chances are slim after recurrant mc carnat? X

 

[AJay]

Just checking in Hun- hopefully you are ok after your eventful and testing morning xxx

 

[Lou1103]

Yeah fine hun, as if it never happened! Gets a bit boring after a while but im fine, thank you for asking. Hope you're ok xxx