Midwife appointment

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by -, Nov 8, 2005.

  1. Guest

    I've got my routine midwife appointment in 15minutes and for some reason I have horrible butterflies in my tummy and I am scared :( I don't know what of though.
    I'm not expecting replies - just needed to tell someone....coz I feel daft.

    Thanks for listening
     
  2. LouisecH

    LouisecH Well-Known Member

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    You are daft! :lol:

    Not for feeling nervous though. You're probably scared she's going to tell you something's changed. I felt like that too until recently.

    Don't worry, everything will be fine. Let us know how it goes.
     
  3. SarahB

    SarahB Well-Known Member

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    Good Luck Sami, I know how you feel. I've got my midwife appointment tomorrow morning and I'm feeling a bit nervous too. You have been through so much and had so many things happen that it is no wonder you are scared.
    Let us know how it goes, and take care
    Sarah xxxxx
     
  4. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

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    Sorry I missed this thread babe

    It is little wonder that you are/were nervous.

    You are probably on your way back by the time I write this....so....how did it go?
     
  5. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    Hope it went well Sami! :)
     
  6. Guest

    Hello thank you for the replies - you bunch of sweethearts! :)

    It went fine. I think I felt nervous as I had a very shit shit night and I didn't sleep and I've spent the majority of last night and today crying :cry: I even refused to see my mum this morning - and I always want to see my mum. Since coming out of hospital I've felt very detatched from the baby and last night it really hit me that I felt absolutely nothing for him anymore and I wanted him out so I could get back on with my life. I was terrified I wouldn't stop thinking this as I know it is a horrible thing to think and that they would take the baby away from me :( That makes me sound like the most terrible person in the world doesn't it - I'm lucky enough to get this far in my pregnancy this time so why should I now feel this way? Thankfully I have stopped feeling like this now I have spoken to my midwife and I think it was the pressure and stress of everything making me feel detatched, and maybe a touch of my past depression history creeping up and making it seem all the more worse. I'm not messed up in the head - I promise!

    I sat in my midwife Carol's office and just burst into tears. She gave me a massive hug and asked me what on earth was wrong. I told her about everything and she was furious that the hospital had not contacted her and told her what was going on. She had no idea. She said the hospital have put far too much worry on me and should have explained more what was going on instead of leaving me to have to find the answers and explanations. She explained my cervix could hold out till my EDD and that although I should rest and not work, I don't have to take it to extreme as staying in bed all day - which I am abviously relieved about!

    She also said that due to the fact I am quite tiny (5ft4" and pre-preg size 8-10) I am probably feeling things far more than someone who is bigger than me. But then obviously, this does not mean I should put up with any pains that I am feeling. She explained how I should monitor my contractions more closely, how I can help then settle down if they are just Braxton Hicks and if in doubt ALWAYS ring her, and that I should stop worrying that she'll think I am a neurotic first time mother.

    She was brilliant and gave a few big hugs, which I very much needed. She was so reasuring and totally put my mind at rest about ever calling her. She told me when she was on shift and said just ring her even for a chat and she will come over to my house. She wants to see me weekly now though already to keep an eye on things more closely.

    We talked a bit more about my cervix effacing and stuff and she explained that really my cervix should not have got like this already (1cm short and soft-which is fairly 'ripe'), and the added pressure of baby already being head down and me being petite probably hasn't helped it. She explained I could have had a shorter than normal cervix to start off with which I would never of known about unless they did a scan earlier in the pregnancy to see. I am obviously now quite close to being fully effaced and starting to dilate so I have to monitor tightenings closely.

    She said she is surprised they didn't scan the baby just to check him, but then he is fine and has been throughout so she said they may just have not seen the need - which I guess is understandable.

    So all in all I feel a lot better for going, and know that I do love my baby very much. I don't want him out now at all and I was just having a very emotional low point. I am still at the same risk of pre-term labour as before but said the steroids should keep him going if he does come early and that he has a very good chance of surviving. He is a good sized lump already apparently which I am pleased about! So I could be here still PG for another week or 13 weeks - it really does totally depend on my body now.

    Thank you very very much for listening to me go on and on and on. Your all brilliant and I don't think I could have got this far without you. I really didn't expect a response to the thread but am touched you replied. You guys are a rock. Thank you.

    xxx
     
  7. lisa31

    lisa31 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Sami

    Thank goodness you've got a midwife who sounds brilliant. As well as her you got all of us too!. At least now you can give her a call as soon as anything worries you, and I think its brilliant that you are seeing her everyweek - that will make soooo much difference. At least now she is on the case, and get help you the minute anything changes.

    When you said you felt 'detached' from your baby - that is probably your way of dealing with it in case your situation went from bad to worse - and who can blame you? - its your way of protecting yourself - it certainly doesnt make you a bad person - its your way of 'Switching off' from all the pressure / worry you are feeling.

    Bit different to your situation now, but when I had all that continual bleeding in the first trimester, I got a bit mad with the whole preganancy and even said to my D/H if its not going to stay in there, and I'm going to have a miscarriage, I want it to hurry up, and not keep leaving me in limbo as to what is going on. - that sounds awful, of course I wanted the baby more than anything (like you) but sometimes the worry / aniexty gets too much to cope with, and those feelings are our way of dealing with it.

    But its good news for now eh?! :D Im so pleased you got a midwife who is understanding and is annoyed at the hospital for 'leaving you to get on with it' - honnestly its worrying enough just being pregnant with all this to go through.

    Keeping everything crossed for you

    L x
     
  8. petchy

    petchy Well-Known Member

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    aw, sami - i missed this post earlier but i'm glad you're feeling better now!!!

    i'm 5'4" too, and i seem to feel every little niggle more than my taller pregnant friend - like for instance i didn't think rib pains would appear until later, but already i've been in agony for a week! it just appeared overnight!!

    chin up hon, we've not got long to go really! it'll be x-mas before we know it, and then our babies will arrive shortly after, and we'll both be mummies!!!
     
  9. Guest

    I know what you mean - I think I must have said the same thing to my poor OH when I was bleeding at the beginning. I was petrified of losing yet another baby, but I couldn't cope not knowing if the next time I saw the blood it wouldn't just be blood anymore, if you know what I mean.

    Thanks for understanding x
     
  10. BubbleOne

    BubbleOne Well-Known Member

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    Sami, I missed this post until now xxx

    So glad to hear everything went ok at your appointment.
    It's perfectly normal to feel the way you did about your baby. My step daughter went through exactly the same feelings as she was constantly being told that her baby was very small. She had about 8 growth scans in the second half of her pregnancy and had all the different medical staff telling her different things. She had a doctor, community midwife, teenage midwife, counceller, consultant all telling her different things. She got to the point where she just felt like she couldn't be bothered to care about her baby anymore and just wanted it all to be over. Despite all this, everything went fine and she had a healthy 6lb 4oz baby girl back in July and she went into labour on her due date!! She had a 8 and a half hour normal vaginal delivery and was allowed home 24hrs later. Couldn't have been more perfect really!!

    As for premature babies. My sister who is now nearly 25 was born at 30weeks and survived and has no side effects. She was born weighing 2lb 5oz. I was born at 35weeks nearly 23 years ago weighing 5lb 14oz and I too am fine!!
    Things have improved so much since then too so if your baby was to come early it would have a fantastic chance. Try not to worry xxx

    Thinking of you lots xxx
     
  11. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

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    HI Sami

    Glad you had a positive appointment.

    I think the way you were feeling is completely normal.

    I also think it is great that you now are having weekly appointments. That will be a great thing.
     
  12. LouisecH

    LouisecH Well-Known Member

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    Hi Sami

    That's great news - exactly what you needed.

    Detachment is just a way of protecting yourself when you think there's an impending disaster. I've done exactly the same thing myself.

    So now we just have to wait and see when these people (our children) feel like turning up eh?

    By the way, I'm 5ft3 (and a half) and I've had loads of aches and pains so from now on I'll be claiming extra sympathy for being vertically challenged. :D

    My midwife did say that that was why my bump had got bigger than a girl I work with who's 5ft9.
     
  13. Guest

    I'm glad I'm not the only short one!! haha yeah I'm a half inch height as well, I round it up to make myself feel better haha. And I wear wedged trainers to give me and extra bit of height too :oops:

    Thanks for all your support girlies, glad to know I wasn't losing the plot. I'm back to being my normal happy bouncy silly self this afternoon with a big smile and rubbing my belly lots :D
     
  14. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

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    Hi Sami, I'm really glad your midwife has made you feel better, I wish mine was so understanding. I'm only 5'2" so does that mean I get to complain about aches and pains more lol!! :D
     

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