Colourmeblue
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- Aug 2, 2012
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What an awful night i've had. Didnt even see this building up - felt fine in the day then I just went completely flipping mental.
Basically I think I was slightly annoyed at OH in the day anyway, as he didnt really bother messaging or calling me to see how i was while he was at work. Then after picking up my daughter, I had to pick him up from work and go together to do our food shop. Think even this slightly annoyed me too cos im 37 weeks and still driving us around everywhere - OH promised he would get his license before baby, but has even renewed his provisional, let alone take any driving lessons. So thats left me heavily pregnant and still driving. So pcik him up from work, and he's all quiet ....this annoyed me. Anway, on way to supermarket, on the main A-road, avoided a massive crash by about a few cm's...I think this is what really got my mood going. Stupid damn lorry came swirving on to my side, I had to slam down my brakes...thank god there was no one behind me to slam into us, our car slighlty swirved and we barely missed hitting him. All i got from OH is an 'are you ok?' and a quick rub of my knee. I wanted to go back home, but he insisted we had to do the food shop....so we done food shop then went back home and then....
Lashed out on OH, I wrecked our home single handedly, threw our plant at him - the soil completely ruined the carpet...threw a bunch of other stuff around, every room is a mess....god knows where i found the strength to even throw stuff around - i can barely walk normally. Told OH that i hate him...i was really awful, all the time i'm screaming and crying uncontrollably. After i'd finished throwing stuff, I collapsed on the bathroom floor in fits of tears, which i just couldnt stop. The worst part is my poor little girl, who's only 9, witnessed the whole thing and had a little meltdown of her own cos she was so shocked and worried about what on earth was happening to me. Anyway whilst i was on the bathroom floor, I noticed i felt kind of wet. OH came in the bathroom, felt my clothes and told me my waters had gone. So now more madness calling the hospital, who told us to go in. When i got up, i felt slight trickling down my leg.
Was put on a monitor, and given an internal. Turns out not all my waters went, and baby is still happy in there. Been told t wear a pad for the next few days and go back if any more leaking/pain. Plus got a scan tomorrow (or later today) as they are not sure, baby might be breach.
I feel like a shit girlfriend and an even worse mother....cant sleep, feeling so so down and keep crying still. Making myself feel even worse cos i know im 37 weeks, and should be as relaxed as possible in preperation for the birth and the baby, but i feel like such a damn mess.
Sorry girls, long rant i know, but i really had to vent x
Basically I think I was slightly annoyed at OH in the day anyway, as he didnt really bother messaging or calling me to see how i was while he was at work. Then after picking up my daughter, I had to pick him up from work and go together to do our food shop. Think even this slightly annoyed me too cos im 37 weeks and still driving us around everywhere - OH promised he would get his license before baby, but has even renewed his provisional, let alone take any driving lessons. So thats left me heavily pregnant and still driving. So pcik him up from work, and he's all quiet ....this annoyed me. Anway, on way to supermarket, on the main A-road, avoided a massive crash by about a few cm's...I think this is what really got my mood going. Stupid damn lorry came swirving on to my side, I had to slam down my brakes...thank god there was no one behind me to slam into us, our car slighlty swirved and we barely missed hitting him. All i got from OH is an 'are you ok?' and a quick rub of my knee. I wanted to go back home, but he insisted we had to do the food shop....so we done food shop then went back home and then....
Lashed out on OH, I wrecked our home single handedly, threw our plant at him - the soil completely ruined the carpet...threw a bunch of other stuff around, every room is a mess....god knows where i found the strength to even throw stuff around - i can barely walk normally. Told OH that i hate him...i was really awful, all the time i'm screaming and crying uncontrollably. After i'd finished throwing stuff, I collapsed on the bathroom floor in fits of tears, which i just couldnt stop. The worst part is my poor little girl, who's only 9, witnessed the whole thing and had a little meltdown of her own cos she was so shocked and worried about what on earth was happening to me. Anyway whilst i was on the bathroom floor, I noticed i felt kind of wet. OH came in the bathroom, felt my clothes and told me my waters had gone. So now more madness calling the hospital, who told us to go in. When i got up, i felt slight trickling down my leg.
Was put on a monitor, and given an internal. Turns out not all my waters went, and baby is still happy in there. Been told t wear a pad for the next few days and go back if any more leaking/pain. Plus got a scan tomorrow (or later today) as they are not sure, baby might be breach.
I feel like a shit girlfriend and an even worse mother....cant sleep, feeling so so down and keep crying still. Making myself feel even worse cos i know im 37 weeks, and should be as relaxed as possible in preperation for the birth and the baby, but i feel like such a damn mess.
Sorry girls, long rant i know, but i really had to vent x