main stressors after the birth?

Discussion in 'Ask a Mum!' started by GBLiz, Nov 15, 2007.

  1. GBLiz

    GBLiz Well-Known Member

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    Hi can anyone give their experiences of the main stressors they experienced after the birth?

    My partner and I will be starting a new business the month before i give birth (timing couldnt be helped unfortunately) and i know we have taken on a lot. I'd like to be as prepared as possible .

    so far i have thought of:

    sleepless nights (this i am used to for one reason or another)
    worrying about the baby (at least with our own business i will be able to go to the doctor any time i'm worried)
    interfering MIL (wont be any worse than the stress of her in arranging our wedding im sure!!)

    im sure there is loads more i need to be aware of..please chuck it all at me !!
     
  2. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

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    my main stress was worrying about my baby. this kinda powerful primal instinct took hold of me during the early weeks and i felt fiercely protective of her. i wouldnt not be in the same room as her and when i looked at our cats all i saw was teeth and claws- think i went slightly loopy actually!
    that only lasted about 3 weeks then i returned to normal.

    the sleepless nights i find easy to deal with as iv had lots of practice from years of partying haha!

    tbh things u expect to stress u out like money etc pale into insignificance really coz ur so focused on ur baby. as long as babys ok all is well, thats how it was for me anyway. x
     
  3. Funkylady

    Funkylady Well-Known Member

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    My biggest stressor was actually the pain I was in after the birth. I came home the day after Id given birth the night before. I was badly torn and swollen and not being able to walk/sit properly REALLY stressed me out. I really struggled to look after Livvy as I just couldn't sit down!

    xx
     
  4. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

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    That is sooooo true. If I hadn't been so sore down below I imagine it would have been soooo much easier. I had an ingrowing toenail too that was killing me :( I think the main stress is remembering to look after yourselves. You and OH I mean. The everyday things like making sure you have food in the cupboard and things like fresh milk, loo roll etc can all of a sudden get forgotten and it just makes things harder than it should be. I think be organised thats the main thing and if someone is coming to visit and ask if you need anything don't always think nappies, cotton wool, think milk for tea, sugar, bread!!!!

    Lou :)
     
  5. lisa&alex

    lisa&alex Well-Known Member

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    i think the main thing you have to remember is to look after yourself.. and accept help when its offered.. rest as much as you can and dont expect to be a supperdeeduper mum. dont worry if the hosue work isnt done.. and make sure you take time for yourself.. also.. sleep when the baby naps.
     
  6. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

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    I agree..it can be a lovely relaxing time as long as you MAKE yourself relax. Enjoy the time you have when they are very little. They sleep a lot at first anyway so just enjoy your cuddles and to hell with the housework :D
     
  7. clarem

    clarem Active Member

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    I currently run my own business and have done for 4 years. My main stressor in relation to running a business and having a new baby was not that I was not able to trouble shoot any business problems that came my way, but that I resented having to do it as it took time away from my new baby, even if it was for only a few minutes. Even if she was quite content and undemanding, I felt that I wanted nothing to do with my business and wanted to give all my energies to her. Prior to the birth I was all up for the odd phone call for advice or problem solving and felt a bit shocked by my resentfull feelings towards anything business related. Fourteen weeks later and it has all settled down with no ill effects for any of us.

    Good luck with the business and the baby. Both will bring very different challenges but will be ultimately immensely rewarding.
     
  8. valentine

    valentine Well-Known Member

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    Biggest stress = VISITORS!

    We had literally HUNDREDS! Sometimes three lots a day (morning, afternoon, evening) and it went on for weeks. They all needed cups of tea and endless biscuits and went to the loo (which needed cleaned all the time), some expected fed (we live out of town) and wanted us to have fun stories and be all chatty!

    Grrrrrrr - at least they all brought nice gifts!

    Xxx
     
  9. elaine22

    elaine22 Well-Known Member

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    Sleepless nights and visitors was the worst for me - let OH and/or family help out as much as poss so you can catch up on sleep, and limit visitors! By the end of the second week I was exhausted lol.
    I didn't really worry too much about the baby - the midwife visited loads in the first couple of weeks so I could ask her about anything I wasn't sure of. :D
     
  10. Snuggle

    Snuggle Well-Known Member

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    I think the sleepless nights are ok, its the constant screaming if you get a colic baby that makes the tiredness hard to deal with :( I found the baby blues hard too, I cried for days :( Other than that, motherhood is the best feeling in the world :wink: :hug:
     
  11. SarahH

    SarahH Well-Known Member

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    That was the best bit of advice my MW gave me.... go and do the visiting yourself, rather than people coming to you.... you can go to them when YOU want, leave their house when YOU want, etc etc
     
  12. lisa&alex

    lisa&alex Well-Known Member

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    im hoping as this is my 2nd.. we wont have to many people.. my family are quite considerate.. depending on teh time of day baby is born im gonna get our parents and brothers and sisters to come that day then hopefully people will leave us alone for a few days...
     
  13. Redshoes

    Redshoes Well-Known Member

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    The hardest thing for me was that I wanted a homebirth and ended up with a hospital birth, and an 8 day stay :( I didn't prepare for that beforehand and felt I'd let Isaac, my OH and me down because of it. I'd say keeping an open mind to the whole experience will help relieve possible stress after the birth.

    The second hardest is the screaming, I agree Snuggle :hug: Isaac never had colic, but he could scream for a good hour at a time, and it was both heartbreaking and stressful. Read up lots about how/when/why babies cry, because you can never be too prepared for your LO crying, its hard to believe it doesn't hurt them, but boy oh boy it can hurt Mummy :hug:

    Thirdly, agree with you OH that you will get stressed and take it out on each other and say how one does more than the other and how not putting that one dirty nappy out the way for you could cause WW3 :D But tell each other often you love each other :hug:

    That's advice I give given my own experience, but mostly remember that everyone's experience is unique and never feel you cannot/shouldn't ask for support or advice and very best wishes with both your LO and business :hug:
     

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