Lost my own mum

[MissK]

Hello, I am not sure if this is the right forum for this post as I don't want to be insensitive to those who have suffered a miscarriage or those who are trying to concieve.
I am so upset and confused - my mum died very suddenly of a stroke at the age of 54 just 8 weeks ago. I have had high blood pressure in the past so in case her condition was hereditary I came off the pill and went to the doctor to get the combined pill which has less risk of high blood pressure, to be taken at my next period. I am 31, been on the pill 10 years and only saw my boyfriend on the weekends as was at home supporting my dad. But, yes I am pregnant (test says 2-3 weeks).

I am so so upset I just want my mum. I am worried that if I go ahead with the pregnancy the stress and pressure I am under will harm the baby, also I am worried about the risk of post natal depression and the fact that I will have no one to help me (my dad is not really up to helping and my boyfriends parents and sisters live abroad). I am also worried that my boyfriend is not ready as we always discussed kids happening later on. Also my reaction has been one of pure shock and horror rather than any excitement - I have never really been around babies or kids and am not very maternal. On the other hand, I don't want to have an abortion and regret it later as I have always thought that I wanted kids and I am i a relationship with a house and job. Perhaps non maternal people become maternal during pregnancy?

If anyone has any advice it would be appreciated. Ever since I found out I haven't been able to sleep or stop crying just feel like I am in a parallel universe. I just want to ask my mum but I can't.

 

[A&J]

I am so so sorry to hear about your mum

I am sure that once the shock of being pregnant is over you will be excited about the new addition.

Whatever you decide you will find lots of support on here

 

[HannahD]

Hi hun, i'm so sorry for your loss

It must be all very overwhelming for you at the moment but in time you will figure out the best thing for you. I've never been the maternal type, i've gone through the majority of my life saying i'll never have children but i'm looking forward to starting a family now. Once your grief is not so raw i'm sure you'll become excited about your little one, especially when you go for your first scan.

Welcome to the forum, i'm sorry it wasn't under better circumstances. The ladies on here are fab and you'll get lots of support and help whenever you need it.

Take good care of yourself xx

 

[MissK]

Thanks for replying guys. It is a relief to hear that you also didn't feel maternal Hannah. I guess I am just so freaked out at the moment that I can't think straight. Glad that I found this site tho. xx

 

[Krystal]

Sorry to hear about your Mam I lost my own Mam almost 3 years ago. Becoming pregnant throws up all kinds of emotions and can be difficult. I wanted my Mam too (still do) I can't help with your decision, only you know what's best for you but i'm glad you've found this forum, the girls on here are fab and someone always on hand to give you good advice.

I think you need to give yourself a little time to get used to the idea of being pregnant. My pregnancy wasn't planned but I was maternal, even so it was a huge shock and I had so many emotions to deal with in those first couple of months and I felt scared. It's completely natural.

If you do decide to go ahead with it though believe me, motherhood is the single most rewarding thing you can ever experience

 

[trixipaws]

i'm so sorry about your mum xxx

i was kinda same as you when i got pregnant with my daughter- wasnt ready for children yet and didnt feel maternal but i so changed. not getting an abortion was the best decision i ever made and thats an understatement.

but thats just me tho, hope u make whichever decision is rght *for you*

hugs x x x x