lonely/ confused/ antenatal depression?

Bbrigi

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Hey,
I'm 37 weeks pregnant and it's all getting too much.. I had depression and panick attacks beginning in 2014 (and most of my childhood), after some major family drama and abuse (not from my fam) so i decided to go and move country so I can have a fresh start. Right after I moved I met this amazing guy but things got too fast.
I became pregnant.. I know i was irresponsible and I shouldn't have a baby so soon but I knew I couldn't live with the thought of aborting my baby and I felt like having a family together is the right thing to do.
Still I feel like I'm losing control over my life (once again) and I don't know what to do. I didn't have time to adjust, even though I had a decent job I had to quit, I don't have family and all my friends are in a different country (so after birth no one will be able to help me).
I'm losing control of my body, I lost all my self confidence with these extra kilos, purply-red stretch marks all over on my huge belly and I find basic everyday tasks to be difficult (I'm in quite a lot of pain) ... I feel like even my partner doesn't find me attractive anymore and I feel ashamed of my body..

I feel like most women are the happiest in this parts of their lives and I just feel like mine is a big chaos right now.

Anyway sorry for all this complaining, I really just had to get it out.. If anyone's been in a similar situation or felt similar please respond as how did you ladies got your life back together? Thanks xx
 
I'm no expert but sounds like you are being too hard on yourself and you have lost your selfconfidence.

It would be worth joining an NCT group or meeting other mums at children's centres with your baby so you can meet other mums and get out of the house.

Don't be afraid to tell the midwife how you are feeling hormones can cause things to feel like life is coming all on top of you when you are stronger than you think!

As for your body woes your body will get back to normal took me ages but I got there. So can you ��

Xx
 
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This is our 3rd baby and it was planned. We already have two lovely LOs and have been happily married for 15 years! We own our own flat and are financially stable and live near family who are supportive. Today I was in tears because I felt like I was loosing contol of my life and couldn't cope lol. I'm not saying I'm dealing with the same problems as you but pregnancy is not all roses and can be really hard sometimes so please so don't feel ashamed of having a hard time. There are parts of pregnancy I love but I have found it pretty hard physically. Some days are more about surviving than enjoying pregnancy. Given your past experiences and current circumstances its not surprising you are not having the easiest time coping.

Its good that you talk about how you are feeling. You will find good support on here and maybe talk to your MW too. Have you had a heart to heart with your OH? It can be hard for men to understand just how taxing pregnancy can be both physically and emotionally. We also tend to spend a lot more time planning for and worrying about what it will be like when baby is here. Try to explain to him what you are going through and don't isolate yourself.

Hugs
 
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