Lonely and feed up.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by JSharpe, May 1, 2016.

  1. JSharpe

    JSharpe Member

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    I am 10 wks and 5 days pregnant and offcorse I'm so happy about it as is my OH. But I never expected to feel as lonely as I do. My OH works 1pm till about 11/1230pm depending on how busy he is, I work 9am till 0530pm so we completely miss each other durring the wk, then we both work one of two Saturday's, so we do get Sunday's together which I'm am great full for but I just seem to feel so lonely at the minute.
    I started a new job about 4 wk ago and have not yet told them about the pregnancy, when I excepted the job I did not know I was pregnant. Everyone there seems nice I was invited out with them for drinks with the other trainees, but of course could not stay long due to the fact they did not know and I obviously can't drink as they all were (I was also really tired and felt sick), so only stayed for 1 hour.
    Last night I went out for a meal with my friend while my OH was at a leaving do for a friend at his work, he said it was a bad idea I go with him as they will all be drinking and it's mainly guys, my friend was going to come and stay at my house after the meal however, on the way back got a call from her friend asking if she wanted to go out, she asked me if I was okay with that and ofcouse I said yes cause I didn't want to ruin her night, other than this havnt seen anyone else but my parants for what feels like forever. At some point in the night her group of friends meet up with my OH and his friends, both my OH and my friend stumbled in this morning at 0545am waking me up. she is now passed out In the spare room and he is passed out on the coach. I on the other hand have terrible morning sickness what feels like all the time and offcorse was heaving over the tolet for 10 minute after they woke me.
    I don't know if I'm being spoilt or selfish but I always feel like I'm so lonely at the minute, the only person that talks to me about my pregnancy is my mum, thank god for her at least there is one person I can talk to.
    I understand that life shouldnt revolve around me just cause I'm pregnant but it just feels like I have no one talk and that no one is really interested.

    Sorry for the really long rant anyway, just felt like venting :oooo:
     
  2. Sparklegirl

    Sparklegirl Well-Known Member

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    I can empathise to some degree. Still TTC but my husband works 11pm to 7am so when he is home he sleeps as he obviously needs to by he isn't just week days, its bank holidays, Christmas, New year etc all the important stuff he isn't with me for. I feel lonely because of that and worry what being pregnant and a new mum would be like with him working such awful hours. I'm very grateful that he has a job but I'm still worried. Thankfully I've never been one for going out if it's not to see my parents or a celebration with my husband, we are too broke to go anywhere but at least we have a baby fund set up ready. How many friends have you told? I'm sure if you have any other pregnant friends you could support each other. Ante natal classes or anybody local on here you could talk to?
     
  3. JSharpe

    JSharpe Member

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    Thanks i obviously used to go out with them all, Iv told all my friends. I'm the first out off my small group of friends to get pregnant and people don't seem to wanna know anymore. I'm hoping when it comes to it that I will meet some new people at the antenatal classes.
    Sorry to hear about how little u see ur husband, I am happy I get the time with my partner Sunday's which of corse is something. Me and my partner where ttc for a while and are offcorse over the moon, fingers crossed for you.
    Hopefully as you suggest I'll meet some local mums on here :)
     
  4. Maaaaaac

    Maaaaaac Well-Known Member

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    I fully understand how you feel. Honestly i do. I work nights and my husband works shifts during the day. I look after my disabled sister on most days and although ive a good relationship with my mum, she is usually just wanting me to look after my sister to get a break. Because i work nights i dont really know the staff group that well just the ones i work directly with and thats an older woman and a man thats it. Most of my friends are just busyall the time due to studies or work or want to go out drinking so i dont even get invited. Im the first of my friends to be pregnant. I used to love having time to myself but now i just feel so isolated. Esp being pregnant i feel so vulnerable now. I looked up maybe doing pregnancy yoga but only classes are evening and there are no other like antenatal type groups near me :(

    Im more than happy to share details so we can chat if you would like. I joined here because I have noone really to talk to about pregnancy and its been a great support!
     
  5. Smileygirl

    Smileygirl Well-Known Member

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    Whilst I cannot relate to the situation, I really feel for you. I think it's sad your friend abandoned you after the meal to go out, that wasn't the plan as you should have been having a lovely girls' night in. I would try to join some antenatal groups and maybe do nct classes later in your pregnancy too. I made some lovely mummy friends that way xx
     
  6. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    Hey i have a couple of friends who have had babies tho none will be near the same ages as mine. Im due in 6 weeks and can honestly say iv not been out since i got pregnant. No one invited me on nights out and iv not really spoken to any as the ones with kids are busy and the knes without dont really seem interested. Iv had a few moments where iv had tears ect. My husband works shifts and up untill a few weeks back i worked full time at school then mon, tue eve and sat day. Im lucky now i stopped those extra jobs and just at school. My husband also has to work bank holidays, x mas day and so on.
    Its sad you dont see each other often is there no way he can change his hours? His work should be alittle understanding if he asks? I have only started antenatel a few weeks back got my last kne this week. We only get 4 sessions. We also have not had time to talk to each other as everyone runs of after. So for me iv not been able to make friends. I have heard that NCT are better for things like that but they are alot of money. They offer free coffee mornings which i will attend once on leave or baby comes. Hope this helps?
    Its still early days for you so try to get out abit and get out of this feeling or your pregnancy will go on forever, trust me!! It is hard, maybe have a girls night in order a pizza and a movie iv done a few of those. X
     
  7. raisingingrid

    raisingingrid Active Member

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    I COMPLETELY know how you feel. 2 years ago I moved away from my home about 1,300 miles and started a new life with my OH. We planned on getting pregnant the first of this month & it happened, which I am very grateful for!! I am so happy and excited and so is my OH, but on the other hand, I really have no friends here and definitely no family here, so they are from where I moved from. I feel lonely all of the time...especially when I see my friends from home going out, or reading posts about how much fun they had that night. I feel very happy about my life and my relationship with my OH, and when he is at home and not working, I don't feel as lonely...but it still bothers me. I pray that things will get better and the loneliness will pass, but I try to keep busy, and just be thankful for the things in my life that make me happy. Once your baby gets here, hopefully it will fill that void of being lonely and you can spend more time with the baby and hopefully with your OH. I am ALWAYS here for you if you want to talk or vent...everyone needs someone to vent to. I joined PF so I can talk to others having the same problems (and joys) I am because all of my friends either don't have kids, or are just too far away....or just dont understand at all. Good luck and keep your head up. Remember, you have to keep your health up and live for the baby now. You have something great and big to look forward to!
     
  8. JSharpe

    JSharpe Member

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    Thanks for the comments guy, it's comforting to know I'm not the only one who feels like this. I'm so happy about the preganancy and have my scan coming up in a week which I'm really looking forward to. I had word with my partner about it and that was a big help, I don't think he knew how lonely it can get being pregnant.
     
  9. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    Im glad the talk helped maybe he can try and be with you a little more. X
     

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