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Liam is a bit miffed at me...

Dragonfly Fi

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Because i dont want to go and visit his mother the day after we get our postmortem results. We had booked in to see her that weekend but before we knew we were getting the postmortem results... I dont want to see her :( She has barely acknowledged the baby, changing the subject whenever she can. I dont think she has even asked me if i am okay or anything.

Anyway the LAST thing i want is to have to pretend that it didnt happen, particularly that weekend... I think it would be horrid to have to act as if everything was fine when actually its not.

She keeps saying she will 'come and visit' in January too, i dont bloody WANT her here the month my child was due, if i see people at all that month it will be people who at least have some acknowledgement of what happened to me and that it was bloody horrid. Going through such a late loss was awful. The experience was awful, why do i need to act to my MiL that nothing ever happened?

I will act like nothing ever happened in the future, because its Liams mum and she clearly doesnt know how to deal with it, but i am not a complete bitch for not wanting to see her right now am i?

:(
 
Not at all! I say fuck 'em both for the time being. You're grieving right now and that takes time and if seeing your mil is going to hinder that then don't. It doesn't make you a bitch at all! xx

 
Cheers honey x

awwww love the 'kissing my long haired man' avatar, i used to have one of those til liam had to get all serious and get a proper job :)
 
fuck em fi!! you need that time for you, Liam and Jasper to be together.....alone. Your well within your rights to need time around your due date hun, I was due march 13th, my birthday is on the 4th and i know all that month I am going to be a total shitbag.

:hugs: stick to your guns sweety
 
No problem lovely :hug: x

Thank you ^_^ he's a Liam as well! xx

 
Hi, i agree, you need to grieve in your own way.

If she has no respect in acknowledging how you are feeling then why would you want to be round her.

Its a hard one though as you wont want to upset your OH as its his mother and we all know how men are with their mothers!!

Hope your ok :)
 
argh my OH'S mother is a total bitch lol
 
You are the only one that knows how to deal with your grief, if that means not seeing MIL then so be it. You are not heartless or a bitch for not wanting to but your OH is being a bit insensitive if truth be told if he is in a mood with you over it. Do what you need to do not what other people want you to do xx
 
How is your relationship with your M-I-L in general hun?

I would defend her in the first instance and maybe say she doesn't know how to deal with this at all so has totally blanked it out - not out of disrespect or anything but because she has no clue what to say or do?

Or she could just be a bitch?? :shock:

My M-I-L is a nurse so she is fab to talk to - although I have not told anyone [barring 2 people] about M/C 2 & 3 :shock:

Fi, you have to do what is best for you though sweetie - and not pander to anyone else's needs (even Liam's). Go and see your M-I-L the week after? Or have her round when you feel a bit better.

xxxxxxxxxxx
 
Well thats the thing, the week after is christmas and then its January... so we arent going to see her before Feb basically

Oh and then i might be (fingers crossed) pregnant and i want to hide it as long as possible.

I really think that Liam should probably just go and see her on his own, he can say i am not feeling well or something??

My relationship with my MiL isn't great, we both make an effort but for some reason she feels the need to say really pointless things like

'if you and Liam ever split up, i would be on his side'

and so on... Shes a very odd woman

very cold and forboding

I just dont know about being around her right now :(
 
Well thats the thing, the week after is christmas and then its January... so we arent going to see her before Feb basically

Oh and then i might be (fingers crossed) pregnant and i want to hide it as long as possible.

I really think that Liam should probably just go and see her on his own, he can say i am not feeling well or something??

My relationship with my MiL isn't great, we both make an effort but for some reason she feels the need to say really pointless things like

'if you and Liam ever split up, i would be on his side'

and so on... Shes a very odd woman

very cold and forboding

I just dont know about being around her right now :(


There you go then sweetie - tell Liam you just can't face it right now and he'll have to go alone (will he take Jasper? You could have a lovely day to pamper yourself)

I couldn't imagine not getting on with my M-I-L? She has 5 boys so loves all her son's GF's so much LOL!

The way I see it is that anyone who becomes an extension of the people I love (like my brothers partner and my sisters BF) become an extension of my family :)

xxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Yes i agree with you, I was really really hurt by Liams families reaction to me, they dont seem to want me to be a part of their family at all. In fact they have taken the 'its her or us' stance a lot and that has basically meant that Liam doesn't see them as much as he would like

The day we got married, Liams mum sent him an email telling him that i was abusing him and that she hoped it didnt take him 20 years to work it out! She had only met me once!

(and we had a lovely time) its very odd... she spoke to Liam once after an arguement and he was upset, i was talking about possibly going to India on my own for a few months because i really wanted to just escape for a while and then see where we were when I got back, and she basically sat on whatever he said to her and then 8 months later (when we were sorted and really loved up) she brought it up in conversation! Basically told me he had been slagging me off and what not...

very odd woman.
 
omg fi my OH's mum once told me I was no kind of woman prancing arund in my''strappy tops'' and that OH would leave me when he had chance she is a total wankpot lol I dont understand why she lies all the time and tries to come between us very strange
 
prancing around in strappy tops! LOL!!! i would have been tempted to say 'you should see what he has me wear in the bedroom dear'

hahaahah what a thing to say!

do you make sure your obscenely dressed when she comes over? I would

How funny!

The scariest thing about Mother in Laws, is that one day we will all become them! lol
 
oh yeah i get the baps out all the time lol she thinks i am a total whore i am sure oh well she is a freak so screw her lol. We used to have loud banging sex in his room ( which was the converted garage she made him sleep in! ) so she hates me and the fact we broke his bed and cracked all the plaster on the walls from all the honeymoon period sex we had hahaha
 
prancing around in strappy tops! LOL!!! i would have been tempted to say 'you should see what he has me wear in the bedroom dear'

hahaahah what a thing to say!

do you make sure your obscenely dressed when she comes over? I would

How funny!

The scariest thing about Mother in Laws, is that one day we will all become them! lol

I bought a few tops in the sale at Monsoon and all OH said when I tried them on is "They look like something my Mum would wear".

Of course M-I-L gushes about said tops every time she sees me wearing one of them and even asked me where I got the from and if they do them in "bigger sizes" :shock: :shock:

My M-I-L is a sweetie but she does rub my OH up the wrong way? She is sweetness and light to me but does lecture / nag him (he needs to buy a car, he needs to stop smoking, he needs to join a gym etc..) and it does annoy him.

Now who else likes to nag him?? Oh yes that would be ME :faint:
 
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