Leaving OH, possibly for good...what rights do we each have?

[Kaedin]

I think I'm just at the end of my tether with OH.

I've started packing things to stay with my mum for the night, he got up from bed (yes at 11:30am....) and said he's going to his mums for a few days. I think purely so he can say he left me.

But what rights do we both have? I'm only on SMP at the moment, he's previously said he'd take full custody of our child if we broke up, as he earns more money than me. But can that really happen? I take care of her all on my own everyday and I've never done anything to hurt or harm her for the future. Can I lose her?

What rights would he have if we do split for good? Obviously, I want her to have a relationship with him, (basically the whole argument is that he doesn't spend time with her, prefer to play on his PC after work)

Just looking for real information as I don't know where I stand. I couldn't bare to not have her.

 

[mrssmith2011]

Aw Kaedin I am sorry to hear this. I can't see how he can get full custody of Hayley. They would only do that is there was a serious problem with you (drugs, drink, prision) which obviously none of them apply. Custody would have nothing to do with who earns more it would be what is in the best interest of the LO and 99% of the time that is to be with their mum. I really hope you get sorted but I can't see how he can take her xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Sorry to hear this.

What is your housing situation? Do you rent? Own?

X

 

[mrssmith2011]

Kaedin I don't know if this link will help x http://www.childsupportlaws.co.uk/child-custody-rights.html

 

[Loula]

U both get equal rights if hes on the certificate unless a court orders anything else.
Ive found from experience they dont like to separate mum and baby unless real issues.
X

 

[Kaedin]

Thanks ladies.

There's no reason she shouldn't be with me, I've never been to court or prison or any black marks against my name.

We privately rent, but he said he pays the bills, yet all my income goes to our family to make sure he has enough in his bank account to cover all our bills and direct debits. It's not like my wages all get spent on me (or spent on me at all (with the exception of food!). Really not sure how it's going to work out, as I want him to be involved with Hayley. The whole arguement is that I'm constantly telling him he needs to spend more time with her, so if he can't do it when she's in the same house - I've no idea how we will do it when we're apart.

 

[SarahBall]

I would go to see a solicitor even if its just for advice hun! x

 

[Mackmummy]

Go to the citizens advice bureau first port of call and get the facts, they offer free advice. It's been a few years since I practised family law but as above the courts are very reluctant to ever separate a mother from a child but the father will have rights for contact etc. depending on how much contact the father has will depend how much child maintenance he has to pay, you need to contact the child support agency for that. I think the fact he spends no time with her now points to the fact him saying he would take her is likely to be an empty threat, how would he look after her on his own!? You have a support network in your mum as well so all very positive. Who earns what is irrelevant as he will have to pay to support his child anyway unless custody is split equally which isn't a bad thing and is usually the best for baby. Good luck and don't worry, no one will be taking your baby x

 

[giuliaplus2]

I'm so so sorry to hear what you're going through right now! Tbh I don't really know the legal situation, but as far as I know - just like Loula said - they only seperate baby and mother if something bad has happened. Unless there have been any severe circumstances, the baby is supposed to stay with the mother, no matter who earns more! At least that's what I've heard...