Leaving baby for the first time....

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by .Ruth., Jul 1, 2013.

  1. .Ruth.

    .Ruth. Well-Known Member

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    Basically me and my boyfriend had tickets for glastonbury and had to give them up due to me being pregnant. I wasn't too bothered but he as gutted as saw it as his 'last blow out' before bubs is here.

    So over the weekend he was watching it on TV and now wants to go and watch the arctic monkeys on October 23rd in Manchester.

    Now we live in Cumbria, a good 2hour drive away. We have family in Manchester so they would more than jump at the chance to look after him.... He wants us both to go and thinks it will be nice to have time together after stressful first weeks etc.

    I'm due 26th August, so if he's late he wont even be 2 months old!

    I feel as though he's trying to guilt me into it.... wants us to stay in a posh hotel etc.

    At first I was adamant on 'no, no way am I leaving my baby that early for a night' - but my mum said it might do us good and the earlier we do it the easier it will be later on etc.

    What are your opinions? experiences?
     
  2. hayes

    hayes Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun, hope you dont mind me tri hoping.

    Im due feb and have got tickets for miranda in april and have aldready asked my mum to look after my lo!! I work with children and i can honestly say everyone is diff but i do personally think the earlier they get use to being left the easier it will be. Obv if you are really not happy(and dont want to be guilted into anything)then dont go. But im sure it wud be nice for you to have a night off. My sil had a big family party to go to and left her 6wk old with my mum and dad for the eve she was so worried but said it was worth it she enjoyed herself and he slept most of the time anyway.

    Hope ive helped a bit. At the end of the day its always your choice hun.

    Michelle. x
     
  3. mummywanabe

    mummywanabe Well-Known Member

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    My baby is 2 weeks old now ive not left him over nigjt yet but both our parents have had him for long periods to give us a bit of a break
     
  4. Kelly450

    Kelly450 Well-Known Member

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    I dont have experience. But in my opinion, it is probably good and will be fine.
    Very difficult for you both, but at least you get that first night away quite eaely on and hopefully that will be less than a struggle than if it was many more months down the line.
    I think its probably so hard to tell until baby has actually arrived. Xx

    Sent from my GT-I9300
     
  5. Clairexx

    Clairexx Well-Known Member

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    If I don't get to go out by the time baby is 2 months old I think I'll be pulling my hair out! As mentioned above, you'll miss them and will probably feel bad at first, but you need to hold onto a bit of 'you' as soon as u feel comfortable to. I went on a night out when baby was 3 weeks old (came home again) and went for a whole night away for my birthday when baby was about 2 months old (planned to go out but ended up just using it as an opportunity to sleep!) Xxxx
     
    #5 Clairexx, Jul 1, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2013
  6. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

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    I think everyone is different I'm not sure even when I will feel comfortable I think if you want to do it then do if you don't then don't. I think I'd want to wait because even tho I hope to express I'd still be breastfeeding and would prob worry about it that said at 2months I may be begging for someone to have little one n me have a break haha play by ear I think maybe book a hotel which you can cancel if closer to the time you aren't happy as gig tickets can always be sold or he could go with a friend if you aren't comfortable when the time comes x
     
  7. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

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    i first left my baby at 6 weeks old to return to my college course. i hated every minute of it the whole day i was tense and upset and teary. ive had to do it every week since to finish the course and ive just graduated but it wasnt fun at all and i wouldnt of done it for a night out lol, in fact ive never left her overnight. the best thing about not having a job or uni to go to yet is that i wont have to leave this baby early.

    it has been good for my DD to stay at mums for the day every week tho as it means shes really happy to be there and if i need her minded then there is at least 2 ppl i can leave her with where i know she will be happy, her dad and my mum but i wouldnt of done it at 6 weeks if i didnt need to
     
  8. mummy2b19

    mummy2b19 Well-Known Member

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    My LO is 14 months and she's never been left over night personally you couldn't pay me a million pounds to leave my baby overnight so soon but that's just me personally xx
     
  9. .Ruth.

    .Ruth. Well-Known Member

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    yer I think I might tell him to buy the tickets but I'm allowed to change my mind at the last minute!

    haha thats what my fiance (just realised I haven really said that much!!) says, a night away will do us both good, kind of a refresh! - not sure how a loud concert and lots of drinking will do that.. but who knows
     
  10. buggy1

    buggy1 Well-Known Member

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    I think it is one of those personal choice things.

    My sister is getting married about 5 weeks after my due date and I have to go to hers first which means leaving the baby with my oh for several hours, I'm dreading that already, I think it will be hard to leave her. I don't think I could/would want to leave her over night.

    Still it will be nice to have a night out so it depends how you feel. Go with your gut feeling though, don't agree to it for anyone else's sake or you could end up regretting it and having a rubbish night anyway because you'll be thinking about your baby.
     
  11. umbongo

    umbongo Well-Known Member

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    You'll have to decide when it comes to it, but you're lucky you'll get the chance. We have no family anywhere near so we'll never get a night out, which is a bit scary! We don't go out much now anyway as not got much money so I guess I'm used to it already.
    As long as your fiance (oooh) realises you might not want to when it comes to it then ger the tickets. Could be fun! I'm sure it'll be hard too, but good to spend time with your OH. Xx
     
  12. TaffyRose

    TaffyRose Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun, sorry to jump in but it is true you won't know how you feel until bubs is here. But you could compromise, say you're happy to go to the concert but want to stay with family and baby after. You then get your night out without being away overnight? If nearer the time you feel comfortable maybe book a hotel then? Don't put pressure on yourself though. I didn't leave Max with someone else overnight until recently and he's 1, but he's been with other people during the day since about 8 or 9 months old. Also remember your OH also doesn't know how he'll feel, he'll probably end up being the one not wanting to leave the baby :) xxx
     
  13. Chezza

    Chezza Well-Known Member

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    Definitely keep an open mind...how you feel now is not necessarily how you might feel when the concert date comes round.

    My LO was 9 weeks old yesterday and I got upset leaving him with hubby for the first time a week ago (for 2 hours lol!)...let alone leaving him with anyone else for a short period of time. Overnight is totally out of the question at the moment!! xx
     
  14. JoeyClare

    JoeyClare Well-Known Member

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    I read in the Daily Mail that a lady actually gave birth at Glastonbury!! Yikes.

    I think it's a personal choice and if you feel comfortable, go for it! If you don't feel happy at the time, then maybe hubby could go with a friend.
     
  15. umbongo

    umbongo Well-Known Member

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    It might not be easy if you're bf as well, expressing isn't always that easy I hear. Worth bearinh in mind xx
     
  16. .Ruth.

    .Ruth. Well-Known Member

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    oh my god! can just imagine a large crowd around her ha... everyone is different though :) xx

    yer I've been thinking about that too... but my OH doesn't understand and thinks it will all be a breeeeeze haha

    I am coming round to the idea though... thanks everyone! Will get him to book them and decide nearer the time.... so you ladies may be able to snag some cheap tickets just before the concert haha xx
     
  17. amanda maxwell

    amanda maxwell Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun, I think u should see how u feel when the time comes. If u get the tickets and don't feel like u want to leave your baby, then get one of his mates to have your ticket. U may feel differently when the baby's here and be glad to get some time away. Just go with the flow :) x
     
  18. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    We've only ever left James once and it was for less than 3 hours.

    OH suggested to me that we have a weekend away in the next few months - just the two of us - but I have no intention of leaving baby with anyone for a few days.... It makes me feel sick to even think about it.

    Everyone is different and I am due back to work in a few months so I know I need to get used to leaving James but he has no need to be away from us overnight.

    xxxxxx
     
  19. Mrsmac1507

    Mrsmac1507 Well-Known Member

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    My lo isn't here yet but the thought of leaving him with someone overnight terrifies me, and I actually get teary when I think about going back to work leaving him for the day. But maybe once he's here Ill feel different and be desperate for a night out.
     
  20. littlemonkey

    littlemonkey Well-Known Member

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    My best advice is keep an open mind! I thought it would be easy to leave my son before he was here, but now he's here, I hate it! He's just over three months and we've only left him twice, both in the last two weeks. The first was with my parents when we went to a wedding and the second was with my SIL when we went to the cinema. He's not been left overnight yet and I doubt he will be for sometime!
     

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