Keeping nerves under control at 4 weeks

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Syd43, Aug 15, 2016.

  1. Syd43

    Syd43 Well-Known Member

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    Hi everyone. I got my first ever bfp on Saturday at the tender age of 44. I'm absolutely ecstatic but also incredibly nervous.

    I just wondered how you all stay sane for the first few weeks? Especially first time mums. I've been having light period-type cramps on and off since yesterday, everything I've read says that's normal but I can't help fearing the worse all the time.

    I know there are no real answers at this stage and it's just a case of wait and see. Would just love to hear from other people that have had the cramping and all is ok :)

    I have an EDD of 22 April but slightly too nervous to join the April group at the moment...

    Thank you.
     
  2. Browneyed Girl

    Browneyed Girl Well-Known Member

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    I was a nervous wreck when I got my bfp through IVF. Period type cramps are definitely normal, I had these for a while. I don't have any advice really as I struggled to keep my own nerves under control, only thing I would say is try to speak to friends/family and don't shut yourself away if it really starts to get to you. On a positive note despite all the worrying my pregnancy was actually quite straight forward and resulted in a healthy baby, hope this helps slightly xx


     
  3. Browneyed Girl

    Browneyed Girl Well-Known Member

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    Also maybe think about booking an early scan if that would help. I had scans at 6, 8 and 10 weeks before my dating scan and they definitely helped a bit. Congratulations as well! xx


     
  4. DarcyHodge

    DarcyHodge Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations. I don't have any advice as I'm a nervous wreck as well I only have five weeks till my dating scan but it feels like forever away. I would say book an early scan x
     
  5. SiameseCatLady

    SiameseCatLady Well-Known Member

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    Ah, the days of knicker checking... I don't miss it at all and still do it now, really at nearly 37 weeks.
    That's not meant to make you feel worse, but to make you feel like you're not alone.
    I am a first time mum. I had a miscarriage and then just over a year later, I got my BFP in December.
    I'll be honest and say that I am not sure that I managed to stay sane. I just got through it by trying to carry on 'as normal' but by also taking rest, not heavy lifting, taking pregnancy vitamins, getting regularly checked by midwife, not googling (especially symptoms) and trying to eat healthily wherever possible.
    I decided to not eat blue cheese and some soft cheeses that aren't pasteurised as they recommend and not to eat runny eggs. I tried not to take medication apart from my inhalers and paracetamol (although I have had to take four lots of antibiotics, yes four!) and we seem to be ok still.
    Is your partner supportive because my husband has looked after me well and tried to keep me calm, as have my parents? They have played a big part in the whole thing.
    Also, I would say look forwards and have faith in your baby, but be sensible too, which it sounds like you're doing.
    We decided not to look at baby bits to buy until our 20 weeks scan. It was hard, but I decided not to look at stuff for my own sanity.
    I would also say, be selfish. If you don't want to do something or don't feel up to it, don't do it. Unfortunately. My brother's then fianceé decided to buy us loads (and I mean loads) of baby stuff before we were even at 12 weeks. We decided to tell them as we had told our parents and again, my brother's wife kept asking my mum about it all, which was stressing my mum, so we told them earlier than we wanted to just to stop her stressing my mum!
    So, I am not sure what my experience there shows you, but take it as you want...
    I probably regret telling my brother, but not our parents as my mum was amazing throughout.
    One lot of people I am glad I told were my employers. I think I told them at 7 weeks because I was getting into some situations that made me uncomfortable, and didn't feel were safe. Luckily, I work in a school where my manager and the headteacher were supportive. I asked them not to tell anyone else and they were amazingly discrete and it worked perfectly. Some people tell their employers even earlier but some leave it depending on what they know their employers to be like. I found it really helpful and stress relieving to tell them as I know they would be happy for me and be supportive. Again, take from that what you like!
    The cramps:
    When I had my miscarraige, I had cramping and bleeding for weeks and didn't know I was pregnant. Then when it finally happened fully, I had contraction like feelings/cramps in my ladies' area.
    When I first became pregnant this time, I had the same feelings and was so stressed the whole time, convinced it was going to happen again. I also had cramps and googled until the cows came home. This didn't help me. It made it worse.
    Needless to say, the cramps 'subsided' and led on to other lovely pregnancy pains(!) and we are a day off 37 weeks.
    Keep and eye on the cramps and ask for advice if it's not subsiding. Cramps are worrying with fresh red blood/clots. Brown blood is scary, but usually old blood. I had this in minimal amounts a few times in pregnancy and got scared but all was ok and they said to me that it was normal!
    At about 7 weeks I had an implantation bleed. It was ewcm mixed with a little red blood and brown blood, a very little. Rang EPU the next day and went in for a scan. They followed it up two weeks later (the day before we moved house!) and things were fine.
    At your early stage, people are not helpful... As in medical professionals you can go and see. However, I rang the charity Tommy's midwives helpline and they were amazing, even at an early stage. They listened, gave accurate advice and helped set my mind at rest about a few things in my pregnancy.
    I last spoke to them in about June as three chest infections had been pretty much ignored by my doctors. They rang the hospital for me and told me who to speak to and the next day I had a consultant appointment about my asthma and infections and more support than I had had throughout the pregnancy.
    I hope I haven't overwhelmed you. This was a bit of stream of consciousness as I felt for you as soon as I read what you had written!
    Do what you need to do and lean on people around you. Be selfish and go with your instincts. Get support when you need it.
    Keep an eye on the cramps and speak to someone if you need to do so, especially if you have bleeding (but remember that that can be perfectly normal too to have a little blood/spotting)
    Try to stay positive, look after yourself.
    I wish you a happy and healthy nine months.
    Believe in your baby. Xxxx
     
  6. Syd43

    Syd43 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much ladies. SiameseCatLady, you definitely didn't overwhelm me :) Lots of information is good, so glad everything is going well for you (despite all the antibiotics).

    I've literally just moved to Asia to be with my boyfriend, I moved 3 weeks ago, must have gotten pregnant almost immediately! I have no friends or family here so feel pretty isolated but I'm due to go home at the end of the month so that helps.

    Things seem to be a little different here, more scans and the first one is slightly earlier, I think I can get one around 7 weeks. I also have to go under a gynaecologist, phoned the clinic this morning and got an appointment for Wednesday so that's good.

    Thanks again ladies. The pain is really mild, nothing close to what I get during af, and so far no bleeding so I'm being a bit ridiculous, I just feel that at my age this is my one chance... It's great to hear that other people have felt the same.
     
  7. Valentina92

    Valentina92 Well-Known Member

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    Big congrats to you xx

    The cramping stuck around for about 2 weeks with me, has only just stopped now. Other than that I dont really have much advise, happy & healthy 9 months to you xxx
     
  8. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    Syd I totally missed your news, congratulations! I hope everything goes well for you, try to enjoy it as much as possible :)
     
  9. Syd43

    Syd43 Well-Known Member

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    That's good to know Valentina, thank you.

    Thanks so much Snowbee, I literally still feel like I'm dreaming.
     
  10. Valentina92

    Valentina92 Well-Known Member

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    As I was researching it online it was explained somewhere that it the stretching of the uterus that causes the cramping. Made sence to me as I thought of it from that point on as stretchy cramps lol. xx
     
  11. Valentina92

    Valentina92 Well-Known Member

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    Oh and the April 2017 group is very supportive to everyone btw. :hug:
     
  12. Sparklegirl

    Sparklegirl Well-Known Member

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    That's fantastic news! Congratulations :)
     
  13. Syd43

    Syd43 Well-Known Member

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    I know, I must join, I'm just scared I'm jinxing it. Which is ridiculous as I'm not even superstitious.

    Thank you sparklegirl.
     
  14. Cjj

    Cjj Well-Known Member

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    Hi Syd,
    I was 35 with first and am now 37 and have just found out I'm expecting second, I'm due two days before you.
    I'm on knicker watch and experiencing the same cramping, AF feelings. I can't remember the first time round early on?!
    Anyhow, try to relax and we can keep each other company x
     
  15. Syd43

    Syd43 Well-Known Member

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    Ah thanks cjj, good to share the madness :) Congratulations!
     
  16. Kholl

    Kholl Well-Known Member

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    Hi Syd,

    Congratulations. What wonderful news. Honestly, I don't think there's any way to stay sane in the first trimester. I have come to accept it as a rite of passage. It's terrifying and the hormones skew your perception of reality. I have had 3 healthy pregnancies and I've never had a loss and still those first 12 weeks are sheer terror for me. I think it's just a part of pregnancy we all have to experience. I know a woman who didn't find out she was pregnant until 16 weeks and I was like NO FAIR, you got to skip the whole first trimester insanity!

    There is a lot of support here and you will get through this.
     
  17. Syd43

    Syd43 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you kholl :)
     
  18. Papermoon

    Papermoon Well-Known Member

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    Congrats to you! :wave: I'm also an older first time mom, I'm 47 and this is my first pregnancy and I am 17 weeks pregnant now. I can already feel the baby move now. My due date is Jan 24th, 2017. Hang in there you will be fine. :)
     
  19. Syd43

    Syd43 Well-Known Member

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    Oh wow, congratulations!
     
  20. Papermoon

    Papermoon Well-Known Member

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