Just want to understand.. Help

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Lilmisshopeful, Jul 13, 2013.

  1. Lilmisshopeful

    Lilmisshopeful Well-Known Member

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    I just don't get it and I need to understand and google ain't helping. I've had bleeding but my cervix was closed. At 13.1 baby was alive on the scan I have had light pink bleeding since but no clots. My scan yesterday showed a complete sack intact with waters. But no baby seen. She said my bodies breaking it down and absorbing it. Well it shrinks at the same rate it grows so should still measure 11.1 weeks at least. Closed cervix intact sack with water. Baby hasn't come out so where is it. Why can't they see it. I'm driving myself mad trying to understand. Could it be to many clots to see it or my body has clotted around baby to make it easier to expel. If there's any chance it's in there intact I'd want to see and hold it. I'd rather deliver than have the surgery. Has anyone had anything similar? Xxx
     
  2. scn

    scn Well-Known Member

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    Did the hospital tell you that it shrinks at the same rate as it grows?
     
  3. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    So sorry you are going through this. I can understad you wanting to see the baby. I had an early loss, much earlier than yours and I found having nothing to see or hold very hard. I hope you get your answers.

    I think maybe the shrinks at the same rate as grows thing is what doctors use to estimate what the age of the baby was when it died. If you have a scan at 12 weeks and the baby is measuing 8 weeks they estimate it died at about 10 weeks. Its not like the baby really grows backward though, it is bound to vary from case to case it's just the only way they have of working it out after the fact. At 13 weeks your baby is still very tiny so a small difference in the rate of shrinking could make a huge difference.
     
    #3 BunnyN, Jul 13, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2013
  4. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    Im sorry if this is really graphic but when i had my loss at 6+5 it didnt come out as clots - it was in the sac and u could clearly tell what it was and when i had my mmc baby was only 7+3 but when i miscarried it was so formed that i couldnt believe. I dont know how they can know that your body can absorb it. Especially with u being a lot further than i was. The only time i saw nothing but clots was when i had a chemical. If i was you i would question your doctor/midwife xxx
     
  5. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    Sometimes the baby is completely reabsorbed by the body, leaving an empty sack, but you could ask more questions. Could it be that they were afraid seeing pictures of your dead baby would upset you?
     
  6. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah thats true, maybe they were worried about showing you the monitor xxx
     
  7. Lilmisshopeful

    Lilmisshopeful Well-Known Member

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    They did show me the screen after she pulled it out as was an internal scan you could clearly see clots. But what else she saw I don't know. It's so confusing. The miscarriage association is where I got the info as I didn't understand the absorbing thing. I lost twins 2 years ago. At my 12 week scan they was 9+3 and 9+6 and were fully formed 3 weeks later when I had medical management at 12 weeks. That's why I'm so confused with them saying my body is breaking it down and absorbing it. It don't make any sense to me. I'm seeing a doc Monday when admitted so will ask them to explain it. It's not come out I know. Only thing I can think of is that there's so many clots they can't see or my body have surrounded the baby with a clot so it comes out easier. I had that with am early loss before. Part of me wants it to happen at home before Monday so I can see for myself xxx
     
  8. merlin

    merlin Well-Known Member

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    Can't believe I missed this, been worrying about you and come here to pm you and saw these threads. I am so sorry hun, this is just awful, I feel overwhelmed after reading this. Don't know what else to say x look after yourself x x

    Sent from my Nexus 7
     
  9. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, maybe theres a lot of things around the baby so they cant see. What doesnt make sense to me is that they want to give you the operation but they said your body will absorb the baby :s
    Could you call the doc /midwife tomorrow to put your mind at rest? Your head must be all over the place :( xxxx
     
  10. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    Usually there is no hurry to operate unless they are worried that you are bleeding too much or something. If you would rather go through it naturally tell your doctors because maybe they are not making all your options clear. I would prefer to do it naturally but lots of women preferred to have medical management because they want to get it over with and get on with recovery. They may just be assuming thats what you want.
     
  11. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    Even if the baby is gone there is still the sack and thick lining from the womb. Sometimes the body doesn't realise there is no baby left and has trouble letting go so intervention can be needed.
     
  12. Lilmisshopeful

    Lilmisshopeful Well-Known Member

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    I had a mmc with twins 2 that I passed at home I asked for the surgery as it was horrific and didn't want to do it again. They said there is a massive amount of blood and clots and my sac and waters are intact so technically impossible for the baby to come out without breaking my waters. I've just started cramping bad so don't think I'll get to Monday anyway. Thank you all so much xxx
     
  13. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    Hugs, thinking of you.
     
  14. Lilmisshopeful

    Lilmisshopeful Well-Known Member

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    I'm falling apart today. Found myself screaming at my oh to make them take it out now. I'm struggling knowing I'm carrying a dead baby around. Last time it was same day. Getting through this weekend has been tough. I feel so fragile x
     
  15. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    Poor ypu. Its going to be h hard few days but it will get easier. Do you have someone to look after you? When do you see a doctor tomorrow?
     
  16. mrz85

    mrz85 Well-Known Member

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    Soo sorry ;( x
     
  17. Lilmisshopeful

    Lilmisshopeful Well-Known Member

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    My oh is with me he is on compassionate leave from the army till the end of the month they have been really good. He is my rock I'd die without him. My sister and parents are here to and doing everything I can't. I'm booked in at 12 and should be out by 6 all saying the surgery goes fine. In a bit of pain now but no blood yet just brown discharge. I know it gets easier ive had several before but this is my furthest along so I'm just scared more by it I think. Thank you xxx
     
    #17 Lilmisshopeful, Jul 14, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2013

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