:( Just want a day off **I GOT ONE!**

[Jade&Evie]

*** UPDATE ***

I will never say a bad word about my MIL again She's just picked Evie up and is going to have her til 3pm (HV is round at 3.30 )

My OH phoned her this morning and told her that I was needing a bit of me time and she came straight over (I think she's been gagging for the chance!)

I'm gonna have a nice soak in the bath in a bit and then just chill out. I've got 5 hours to myself and I don't know what to do!

Well Done to Jon- and I didn't have to ask him

I wonder if he'll cook dinner tonight too


***
I'm struggling to even feel human at the moment. My day consists of sterilising bottles, feeding Evie, being sicked on, tidying up baby paraphenalia, cooking dinner for me and OH, washing up, more sterilising and then doing the laundry/ironing.

I have no time for me. my OH takes Evie off my hands for a couple of hours when he gets home from work but thats only so I can cook him dinner and clear up afterwards. As soon as I sit down for 5 minutes he hands her back.

Last night I had stripped the beds and we'd just finished dinner. Evie wouldn't stop screaming at us when we put her down and I went upstairs to let out a few self pity tears. my OH told me not to worry about it- he was just ging to tesco to get something for his man flu and then he'd do the bottles and the washing up and put the clean bedding on. When he went I thought I might as well do the bottles when he was gone. Anyway, by the time he got back I had done the washing and drying up, sterilised the bottles and made them up with water, changed the bedding and changed Evie. he didn't even mention it- just asked me to run him a bath cause he wasn't feeling well THEN he wanted to have sex

I feel like I'm a single mum sometimes only with the added strain of keeping a man happy as well. I just want a day away from it all. I don't want to do anything wild- just get my housework done and then have a bit of time for me to have a bath or something

Pfft. I'm feeling sorry for myself again

 

[Lola's Mummy]

I know just how you feel hun!
I wish my OH would pull his finger out every now and then just so i could get things done.

You should really try and stop worrying about the house work and stuff though and just enjoy your little girl

 

[LisaJ1986]

I know how you feel. The only difference is i'm BF so i'm on demand all the time. My OH isn't working at the mo so i ask for a little help. I ask him to wash up, but i actually can't remember the last time he did. We made a rule of he washes, i dry. I hate washing up, he hates drying. He refuses to change nappies and get her dressed. I only ask for little bits done like hoovering and stuff.
Angel will cry for no reason. I can't stop her. I get so upset and think i'm a bad mother. I'll go sit an the bathroom and cry.
I'm a PC widow so until he finds this particular game boring i'm doing this all on my own

We're allowed to self pity occasionally. Sit and have a good cry. Makes me feel a little better. Then rant and rave at OH for a while.

 

[1sttimemum]

i no exactly how you feel Ihope he can give you a break soon. MNaybe ask him to have evie for an evening while you meet your friends??

xxxx

 

[Sage]

Im sure many of us no EXACTLY how you feel. My OH is as messy as it gets. little things like every morning his dirty pants and socks are just on the floor in the bathroom, his cereal bowl is just on the table down stairs. i guess he jut thinks the tidy-up fairies come in the day and clear it all away for him We had a big row last night since i went up to bath ky and OH had just had a bath and a shave and all his stubble was at the bottle of the bath Lol i lost the plot a bit and hysterically ranted about looking after ky all day, picking up after him, doing the tea, getting stuff ready for holiday, ironing washing, the mental dog nextdoor that keeps trying to attack me everytime i go into the garden to hang washing out..... i got a bit carried away and he looked like a puppy with his tail between his legs. I went upstairs and sulked and by the time id sorted myself out he'd attempted to do the washing up (left the cutlery at the bottom ) its a start but i guess he tried!

Haha and i love the way men get man flu and cant do anything but sex is fine! my OH tried to wake me up at god knows what time in the morning last night expecting a bit of nookey. pffft no chance mate!

 

[Zodiac]

I know at first it's really knackering hun, but believe me as your LO grows and gets into a routine things will get easier. It's just that right now you are probably on a 3hr cycle routine which means you're not getting a lot of uninterupted sleep, which in turn is making you feel worn out and grumpy to those around you.

I am a single mum - so don't have the benefits (however small ) that a partner brings to the mix... in the early months I too was knackered and on those days when he also had colic and wouldn't settle I was just about ready to run away screaming cos I was sooooo tired and emotional.

BUT - he's now 5months old and I absolutely love my time with him. Now that he's able to communicate back with smiles, gurgles, chuckles etc. life is sooo much more fun.... & he sleeps thru the night

So - just wanted to let you know that it does gets better and send you some

Saying all that - having read some of these posts - maybe I'm the lucky one not having someone else to clear up after

 

[LilysMummy]

OH is the same. Comes in from work has Lily for 5mins I get comfy on the sofa get a drink etc and then shes handed right back I tidy up round him and he doesnt realise or when its a night he says "just leave it till the morning do it whilst shes still asleep" Can count on my hand how many times on one hand hes changed her nappy in the last month. I know he works silly hours but I need a bit of help now and again. Bloody men huh!

 

[Emma58]

It takes for me to rant and rave like a mad woman for my OH to do anything.
He thinks holding him for 5 mins when he gets home is helping me out. He'll quite often watch me trying to cook tea, wash pots, sort out washing etc whilst trying to sort Sam out at the same time and wonder why i get pissed off with him.

I went on strike the other week but I didn't even last the day
Now i try to prioritise what really needs doing during the day and the rest can wait. There are loads of things I'd love to get on with but nothing that can't wait.

Men can be useless sometimes.

 

[valentine]

I know exactly how you feel. I slept in DD's room last night on the airbed as I was so p*ssed off with OH.

I hate the way they seem to think they are doing you a favour if they hold the baby/change a nappy/go food shopping.

I know I'm on maternity leave - but my job starts at 7am if not before and doesn't end until I go to bed at night, yes I love spending time with my daughter, but the daily drudgery really gets me down.

Valentine Xxx

 

[Jade&Evie]

MNaybe ask him to have evie for an evening while you meet your friends??

xxxx

I'd love to but I know I'd just come home to a flat that looks like a building site and a baby that needs feeding and changing. My mum is looking after her on saturday night because we've been invited to a party. The deal is that I look after my younger brother on Friday and she'll have Evie on Saturday. my OH has decided to go out on Friday night- leaving me with Evie and a ten year old- because he doesn't see why he should have to look after MY brother- even though it's so WE can go out.

I love him to bits but he's so selfish sometimes I could murder him. He keeps telling me that I have to go back to work as soon as I can- but I don't know who he expects to do the housework/ look after the baby and make sure everything is paid for if I'm working a 12 hour day in London

I can't rant and rave at him because he just walks out if I do that and at the moment I'm not sure he'd come back

 

[SarahH]

Hey hun,

I know exactly how you feel and I think every mother on here does unless they have an exceptional man (if you do - do you wanna share him out )

I would have a chat to him as that usually works with mine when he is home and he does everything - except nappies

I hope enjoy your party on Sat and get to let your hair down properly

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

awww hun
ill baby sit for ya

 

[muppetmummy]

It does get a lot easier to have me time when they get older and are able to amuse themselves more. I hardly have to look after James anymore, he's so independent.

my OH doesnt do much around the house except make mess, but he's working 60 hour weeks at the moment so i cant really complain

 

[lfc_sarah]

I must be one of the lucky ones

My OH tells me to go have a sleep/go in the bath when he gets home from work or has a day off
He looks after Callum and does the cleaning/ washing up
I express my breast milk aswel so he can help

I just assumed most OH's were like that

When hes working though i dont mind doing it
And i actually like cleaning....

 

[fran_23]

first of all
have some hugs! Hun it is so normal to feel like this- the first few months are so overwhelming, you have to adjust to your new role, and i know at the moment it feels like a never ending routine where you never get a break and you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel..but honestly it does get easier, hard as that is to see right now you just gotta get through the first few months anyway you can and eventually you will realise you have a whole routine going and you begin to get more time for yourself as the baby gets older and more able to self soothe and amuse themselves! the feeds get further apart and just think no more steralising after 6 months! are you trying to sleep while bubba sleeps etc..and don't be afraid to ask family/friends to come and watch her while you catch on some sleep i bet they would be delighted to spend time with her..i know some people stay away a bit after the first visits etc as they prob think you want to be alone with your new family but i'm sure they would love to help out even if its while you have a bath or an hours nap or something!! lack of sleep and a busy new routine aswell as pregnancy hormones can make you feel as if you can't take anymore sometimes..its amazing what a nice relaxing soak and some kip can do...maybe tell your OH how you feel firmly and ask if he could just help out a bit more let you catch up on some sleep when he gets home or something!!
xxx

 

[lisa&alex]

not being funny or anything.. but why did you jsut do the dishes and the bed then? id not have.. and i think if my oh jsut did it id have not said anythign either.. if you dont do it he has to do it.. but if u ask him to do it then jsut go do it anyways then whats he supposed to do?

 

[Jade&Evie]

not being funny or anything.. but why did you jsut do the dishes and the bed then? id not have.. and i think if my oh jsut did it id have not said anythign either.. if you dont do it he has to do it.. but if u ask him to do it then jsut go do it anyways then whats he supposed to do?

because he was gone for 3 hours

I have to ask him 3 times to do anything - and then I'm nagging. Our flat esp. our kitchen isn't big enough to just leave things.

I don't want to have to ask him to do stuff- I want him to do it. He lives here too and Evie is his daughter too yet he honestly thinks it's solely my job to look after her. He doesn't have to ask me to change her nappy- yet I have to BEG him to do it!

I'd love to go 'on strike' but I can't because I'll just have to do everything 3 days later when there's no clean clothes or plates

 

[Beatlesfan]

Ah Jade you sound like you really need a break. I have a great OH, but my ex had a daughter and I ended up doing the lion's share when she came to stay so I can sympathise a little.

Would your mum look after Evie another night so you can go out with friends? I went out with friends a while ago and it did me the world of good to get out. You might find it helps.

hugs for you, sounds like you are reaching your threshold.
x x

 

[fran_23]

i bet coz she knew if she didn't do it..it wouldnt have got done and she'd of had to do it the next day on top of all the next days stuff..!!

 

[Squiglet]

not being funny or anything.. but why did you jsut do the dishes and the bed then? id not have.. and i think if my oh jsut did it id have not said anythign either.. if you dont do it he has to do it.. but if u ask him to do it then jsut go do it anyways then whats he supposed to do?

She shouldnt have to ask him in the first place lol

agreed