Just waiting for the inevitable

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Baby Pickle, Apr 1, 2016.

  1. Baby Pickle

    Baby Pickle Well-Known Member

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    Hey ladies

    Sorry I haven't been on here for a while, I've been trying not to get too hung up on trying for baby #2 (who am I kidding after 3 years TTC!?). The good news (I think) is that after 4 miscarriages I have been referred to the fertility consultant, just waiting for an appointment to come through - I'm feeling pretty positive about it and am looking forward to having some professional support.

    In the mean time, I'm just sat waiting for my 5th miscarriage to happen :sad: I used my ClearBlue fertility monitor last cycle and DTD every other day up to my peak and then on each peak day, I had a good feeling about this cycle and started testing from 9dpo, all bfn. But the :witch: arrived a few days early. Sorry if this is TMI but AF was really heavy and clotty, I never 'leak' and it happened 3 times in one day, I was so grateful I was working from home (I even had a nightmare that night that I'd worn white linen trousers to work and the next day and it happened all over again!!). Obviously I was a bit dejected, but tried to stay positive for the consultants appointment. So I pretty much drowned my sorrows all Easter weekend and ate like a pig, i even went out for a friends birthday on a school night!

    Last night I wiped and there was a bit of pinky discharge (I never spot) so alarm bells started ringing, I did one of the pregnancy tests for the fertility monitor, but it wasn't my 'testing window' but I did have two bright blue lines which I thought meant positive, (being impatient I couldn't wait till the morning for my testing window), so I did a ClearBlue which came back with pregnant 1-2 weeks, this morning I've done a FRER and got a faint positive. I'm thinking I am 19 dpo so would think it should be 2-3 weeks on the ClearBlue and a clearer line on the FRER (my only successful pregnancy I got stonking lines really early on). This is exactly how my other MCs started with weak positives and I'm feeling all crampy now and like impending doom is about to start :sad:

    I hope my bingey week hasn't caused this miscarriage :sad:

    Thank you for reading if you've got this far x
     
    #1 Baby Pickle, Apr 1, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2016
  2. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry hun.

    XX
     
  3. hesty14

    hesty14 Well-Known Member

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    So sorry hun. Sending hugs. xxx
     
  4. Tonks82

    Tonks82 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry baby pickle sending you big virtual hugs xxx
     
  5. Baby Pickle

    Baby Pickle Well-Known Member

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    Thank you ladies, I'm looking forward to the day I get a decent bfp, these sketchy faint lines are so cruel :sad: and never end in a positive outcome.

    Amy x
     
  6. jomc

    jomc Well-Known Member

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    So sorry :(
     
  7. PeanutButter

    PeanutButter Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear this :( :hugs:
     
  8. Baby Pickle

    Baby Pickle Well-Known Member

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    Nothing has happened yet, going to ring the GP in the morning x
     
  9. Cherrybelly

    Cherrybelly Well-Known Member

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    Don't be too downhearted, it could all be ok. You got 1-2 on a cbd so I think all hope is not lost! Fx for a sticky one xxxx
     
  10. Baby Pickle

    Baby Pickle Well-Known Member

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    Took an Asda cheapie this morning and the line has really faded so feeling better that it isn't likely to be an eptopic now. On to the next cycle, beginning to think this will never happen :sad: x
     

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