jealous

[Layla]

hi guys,
i need you lot to slap me and tell me to stop being such a bitch please!

heres the story...

there was this guy that i realy liked just over a year ago, we was together for about a week and then he went back to his ex girlfriend (they have a child together), i was hurt but i understood.

then this time last year i met Jase, fell head over heals for him and was finaly happy. then the guy i liked contacted me, hed split from his ex as it wasnt working and wanted me back, i said no coz i was already with Jase, he chased me for a bit but then when i got engaged he left me alone.

you al lknow whats happend since then, married, had Coby, brought a house, very very happy!

BUT....

my best mate has just started seeing that guy! she knew he was chaseing me last year and knows what went on between us, they have been seeing each other for a week and tehre has already been talk of marriage and kids, whcih is great for her coz shes been through a bad time and deserves to be happy.

but im so jealous! i cant help it and i dont know why, im happy with Jase , i dont have feeling for this other guy atall, but i dont like teh fact that my best mate is now with him.

please tell me off! i hate feeling like this, they are both nice people and i want my mate to be happy.

 

[Kerry]

You are totally ok to feel like this hun, they are both people who mean something to you and of course you would be feeling a bit funny about it all. It may not even be jealousy, just strange feelings that you don't know how to deal with.

I think it's hard to fall out of love with someone once they have let you down like that so its only natural to still have a flicker of something for him. But like you say you are happy now so don't let it worry you. Don't beat yourself up for feeling jealous, it's ok, just don't dwell on it too much!!

Big Hug!!

 

[Lindsay]

Layla, I totally understand where you are coming from, the same thing happened to me lots of years ago and I hated it too, I didn't want to get back with the guy but equally I didn't want my friend to have him either and that was no reflection on my friend, I just couldn't deal with the situation

Xxx

 

[Layla]

thanks guys

i feel so guilty on Jase for feeling like this, i love Jase to bits!

my mate does deserve to be happy, but there are loads of blokes out there, why does she have to pick the guy i was with?! when things didnt work out between us i was very upset and confided/cried to her about it.

its like she has forgoten whats happend, hasnt even asked me if im ok with it, its like me going out with her ex and rubbing it in her face.

i just dont think its right

 

[Lindsay]

It does seem insensitive of her, not to even ask you if you are ok with it - I agree it's not right and is a very difficult situation for you to have to deal with.

Could it be that this guy is only taking your friend out to try and get to you? - how long ago was it that he split from his ex and asked to get back with you? It may be that when he sees that it is not bothering you (you wouldn't want him to think that it was!) it will all fizzle out??

Don't feel guilty hun, the fact that you said no to this guy proves that you love and are commited to Jase, had it been anyone else he got together with you wouldn't have cared, it's because it's your friend and that their relationship is a bit too close for comfort for you is making you feel like you are.

I might not be making any sense .......

Xxx

 

[Layla]

yeah you are, it is very close for confort!

it would be like me going out with one of her ex's, getting everything she wanted from them, and rubbing it in her face, she would hate it!

and to be honest, i wouldnt do that to her, no matter how much i liked the guy, shes my best mate and i would put her first.

i dont know, maybe in being very selfish, i just cant seem to get past this.

shes made it impossible for me to tell her how i feel coz shes been rubbing it in my face how wonderful he is, and how much he likes her, and how much she likes him, shes all excited and i dont want to be the one to take all that away from her.


aagghhhh! i hate this!
i know what im like, im going to end up distancing myself from her coz i cant handle this, but i really dont want to do that

 

[Tara & Liam]

Hi layla

i agree with what has already been said. it is too close for comfort. i think that you friend probably went out with your ex because she knows that he is a great guy. she respects your opinion on things and as she knows that you think this guy is a decent one, then she was obviously going to go for him.

it would be a shame for you to loose two good friends. maybe it will get easier for you both in time. sorry i havent been much help

take care

x