jealous sibling!

[muppetmummy]

Oh no! James was very negative about the baby early on but I thought he'd got used to the idea. The house is now full of baby stuff, including a cot in james' room and he hasn't mentioned it so I thought he was ok about the whole thing. When adverts have come on tv for baby toys he's said things like 'Logan would like that', and he's also hugged my tummy on several occassions and said 'I'm not hugging you, I'm hugging Logan'.

This afternoon I picked him up from school and he says out of the blue 'why did you have to put that seed in there, I hate babies' and 'you should put that seed back in daddys willy!', followed by worse of all 'we must kill Logan!'

I've tried to talk about it with him since but he just says 'forget I said anything' and 'don't worry about me, just make sure you're happy', he doesn't want to talk about it.

I really hope this afternoon was just a one off. It looks like I might have some problems ahead

 

[kalia]

I don't have any advice but I didn't want to read and run.

 

[Ginnymarie]

hello mm

i was a bit jealous of my little sister, I huffed with my mum and would not let her dress me or do anything....after she came home from hospital.

then my mum just encouraged us to bond by me helping bath her etc...and she never looked back...yes there is still a bit of jealousy there as my sister is a favourtised by my dad but that does not stop how close we are... I think it will be fine

xxx

 

[sarah2807]

Oh no!! How old is he?
At least it is the first negative response you have had from him, all the other stuff sounds lovely! -I think some kids say stuff like that all the way through! Maybe he had a rubbish day at school? Or lots of teachers keep asking about the baby and not aasking/showing an interest in him??? Not sure what to suggest hun as I haven't got any first hand experience-I've heard it mentioned about remembering to give the older child lots of attention...but I'm sure you do that anyway. xx

 

[Moofa]

Hi

My Mum gave me one bit of advice. She said she brought the new baby home from the hospital to the existing sibling rather then have the new baby at home and then the existing sibling brought in after (funny she was only saying this to me this morning) she said that way my brother's didn't feel the baby had taken their place if that makes sense.



Mx

 

[keli]

Oh no! This is my first so haven't got that to deal with, but do you think someone has said something at school to him? Funny how he's just come up with it out of blue.. to the killing bit xx

 

[Bloom]

Oh dear im sure its just a one off one of the other kids at school probaly said something to him and got him worried.

I dont have any advice as ive not been in that situation.

 

[Tick-Tock]

I am 16months older than my twin brothers. When we were little they used to get so much attention (blonde identical twins). One day an old lady came up to my mum with us, ignored my brothers and lavished loads of attention on me..... I don't remember I was too young, but mum reckoned that this woman knew that often the older sibling feels left out and usurped by the new arrivals so gave me all the attention.

I think as long as you are aware of the situation then you should do fine...

J
XX

P.S. It also sounds to me that someone at school may have said something hateful like "your mummy won't love you any more once the baby arrives". kids can be so cruel

 

[nikkimitch]

sounds like someone at school has put ideas in his head

I have 3 children already - 6 year old boy now has to share with his 3 year old brother as new baby needed the nursery, dd aged 4 will no longer be the only girl and ds 2 aged 3 who is my 'baby' is suddenly not - we have all sorts of awkward moments but are really dwelling on the positives and on how lucky the new baby is to have such fantastic older brothers and sister - hope when she arrives all will be sorted. They are very excited about her so hopefully if I can show them how important they are to her we'll be fine

when dd was born ds1 used to pinch her face and knock her over - they still bicker a bit but are also great friends and both look after ds2 really well and play with him - he hates them being at school and looks forward to home time so he can see them

no great advice really just hope things settle for you

 

[muppetmummy]

Thanks everyone

I will just have to keep an eye on him and try not to do anything to make him feel left out.
We've already bought him a present from the baby, I hope he doesn't get too unsettled by it all

 

[Babylicious]

he's probably just uncertain whats going to happen when the baby arrives, he's been on his own for a long time now - a bit of jealously is normal too.

when i told paris about the baby she said she would hit me until it was dead, the can be horrible but they really don't know what they are saying

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Kids don't always know what they are saying, he's probably just having a bad day!
I'm sure he'll be fine
This is my first but if i were you i'd just ensure that he feels important and knows how proud you are of him being the 'big brother'.

He will be fine xxxxx

 

[Charlie:-)]

Oh dear, that doesn't sound good.

Had to laugh at the seed comment and putting it back into daddy's willy Kids say the funniest things!!

Im sure once the baby is here he will change his mind, and hopefully the present will help.

 

[Sherlock]

Awww

I think you are going about handling it the right way. A present from the baby sounds a lovely idea. And including him as much as possible and reassuring him about the changes to come.

Also he is that bit older so has more understanding of things around him. And other children at school may have said things and left him wondering about what having a sibling might mean.

Are there not story books you can get to read to children now on this? Might be worth taking a look and seeing if you can do something like that. He might open up a little hearing a story and talk to you. Depends what you think about that sort of thing I guess. Its not for everyone.

 

[Tillytots]

oh hun

Its only natural for there to be some jealousy, he will be fine. Like others have said someone probably has put something in his head at school. Also you aren't his usual fun Mummy who can play with him like you usually do when your not pregnant as you're knakered etc and he probably associates that with Logan, therefore resenting him already. He almost certainly isnt aware that you'll be his Mummy again, all normal and cool. I know even my OH has a hard time accepting how Ive changed through pregnancy and all he keeps saying is "I cant wait until you're normal again" We are a bit like tired old ladies