ive finnaly done it

[weestar21]

well i can now say it IVE STOPPED SMOKING woooooooo hoooooooo
ok well i was smoking 20-25 a day before i got pg then when i found out that i was pregnant i tried so hard to stop but i cut right down to just 3 a day, ok it was really hard and took me months to do it so friday the 10th of march at 8 am was the last time i had a ciggy i havent had one since so im chuffed to bits. I do still get the urge to have one but i just reach for the green extra chewing gum (im more addicted to that now) and im fine.

so if i can do it anyone can

love n hugs

Jean

xxxxx

 

[Amanda]

Well Done Jean!!!

It's a great feeling isn't it. I've been cig-free for 5 months now, and I still hate the smell.

It will get easier now.

 

[lisa31]

Well Done you! - its 7 months for me - still have the odd bad moment - but nothing i cant handle and u will be the same!!!!

 

[foxymum]

well done jean, i gave up in may 2004, & it was very difficult, but believe me in a few months you will be shocked that you ever smoked!! i am , it gets easier every day that you pass- keep up the good work

 

[weestar21]

awwww thankyou all

i did give up for 2 years when i found out i was pg with adele and it was one night at a stupid party that got me started again and with money stress and all the usual ok i know smoking DOES NOT help as we were just burning money we didnt have but im so glad that ive finnaly managed to do it and shocked that my partner has too, feels a bit strange at the moment as i can still smell it in some places round the house he said its just me but ive been scrubbing everything washed all our clothes, i mean everything....lol ive used about 8 tubs of shake n vac over the past week but i can still smell it not strong just get the odd smell or is it just me and my pregnancy thats making me smell it alot more or is it me making excuses to clean.....lol


thanx again and well done to all of you too for kicking the bad habbit

xxxxxxx

 

[beanie]

Congrats Jean . Lol at your smelling smoke, my sister gave up recently and she has been the same, smelling cigerette smoke everywhere.

 

[weestar21]

its so annoying its bad cos i could smell it on adele and had her in the bath 4 times in one day she wasnt happy about it but at least i can say i have a clean daughter....lol

hopefully it will go away cos its making me feel sick but my OH says its all in my head

 

[sarahj]

well done!!! im so jelous! i used to smoke 20 a day and i have got it down to 10 a day and now i just want to stop but every night i go without fags and the next day i give myself some stupid reason why it ok to but another 10. im driving myself mad!

so well done to you as i soooo understand how hard it is

sarah x

 

[weestar21]

i know its no excuse but ive been feeling a little down for the past week and im so ashamed to admit it but ive turned back to the ciggies just feel like me and the OH have no relationship now its prob just me but he comes home for lunch eats lunch at the pc goes to bed for a kip gets back up and goes back to work. He comes in between 6-7 has dinner while sitting at the pc and thats him till at least midnight while im getting kids to bed doing dishes ironing ect the things i cant get done during the day and by 11pm im absoulutly knackerd so i just go to bed. I know hes looking at porn on the net and i try not to let it get to me he fully knows i hate it so much and i still dont get why he needs to do it. Im so pissed off ive even invested in a vibrator a while ago i told him i was going to get one and he said no as i would like it more than him so today i went to ann summers and bought one i dont know why i done it i guess to see if he will be pissed off or not i just dont want to feel lik eim competing with fucking porn grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

sorry im just having a really big moan now but i dont get if he likes looking at porn so much whenever i have suggested us watching it together he says no and goes to bed, do yous think his feelings have changed for me or is it just me being jealous and stupid. Ive tried talking to him he denys looking at it most of the time when i ask him if he was looking at it the night before its getting to the point where if he does come to bed with me which is very rarley now i get the impression he would rather be up looking at filth


ok feel better now ive burst out on here

 

[sarahj]

i soooo understand the porn thing! my husband did not tell me but i found a credit card bill then i checked his internet history to find he had been watching back door mums and even joined as a member! i can not even describe how this makes me feel or why it makes me feel so bad. all i can think of is that i feel like im not good enough and this upsets me as i do anythink he wants when ever he wnts and im better looking then the slappers on those films and i only do it for him! so i understand why this could be damaging to your realationship. i am now trying to play him at his own game. im pretending that i know really good free internet sites and it has got him thinking about what i look at and hopefully it has made him feel inadequate and useless!!!
At the end of the day this is a hurtfull thing that our oh are doing and i just do not think that men realise how it makes us feel and im sure it is all harmless fun to them. Just try to make him understand how it makes you feel and hopefully he will stop.

pm me if you need to talk
sarah x

 

[Wobbles]

You did well. I think all smokers slip back every now & then. I hope life pans out well for you & you can stop again. I've been trying my hardest for a month or 2.

I don't know what to say about your OH, a talk maybe & if he fobs you off force the issue! I would which in that situation would be to de-plug his PC. You have children & a home together he shouldn't dismiss that & if he has a problem he too should be talking it through with you. I think many couples split up because they don't talk over things. We all go through bad patches.

Why should you feel like you HAVE to watch porn anyway? If it’s not what your personal preferences are don’t.

 

[lisa31]

Hi Weestar

Hope your ok. If its any consoloation - me and the D/H have never argued so much since Heidi was born. We seem to be constantly at each others throats and today I told him I was finding it hard ajusting to being a mum and how I now hate my figure and he just sat there silently??!!!

I was waiting for him to say "whats up with your figure??" or "it hasnt changed" - it would be total bullshit I know but hey?! it would of been nice if he had even attempted to lie.

Cigs are all I think about these days. This month it is 8 months since I stopped smoking but these days, with the stress I could quite easily start again

Hope you ok x

L x

 

[weestar21]

Hi lisa its shit when they give u no response

my oh went mad at me yesterday because i updated msn to the beta one (8.0) and i didnt know it would delete his account and change all the passwords so he went in a strop and threw the mouse behind the pc!! but the stupid twat all he had to do was change the net passport passwprd if that makes any sence so ive done it thismorning.

As for all this porn stuff hes still doing it and its driving me mad so i bought myself a vibrator (havnt used it yet though aint got the flipping time...lol) so the day he found out i bought one i got 'cuddles' but it just seemed like it was so much of an effort for him and he didnt seem like he wanted to. He asked why i bought it and my reply was well since your so wrapped up in porn these days i decided it was time for me to get some pleasure from our relationship as it seems to be only you whos so called 'happy' he didnt reply and just sat at the pc with his back turned so i went off to bed. He came up about 30 mins later i pretended to be asleep and he cuddled into me and said how much he loves me and cares for me so i rolled over towards him and said well if you still feel the same about me when we first met why hurt me so much as u know how much i hate being face to face with porn every time i log on the recicle bin is full of pics and video clips makes me sick!! he didnt say anything and just went to sleep. next morning he got up and said its a guy thing and i wouldnt understand oh and he said it helps reducing the risk of testicular cancer i said if your that blooming worried about cancer then why have porn almost every blooming day when u can have me and yet again i get no response. I just get so many mixed messages from him one min i feel like he does love me and does want me but the next i feel like he doesnt give a shit if i was here or not. Hopefully he will grow out of the whole porn thing either that or he will have an ultimatum me or the pc i know that sounds crazy but that is the only problem in our relationship hes always to busy on the pc these days.

sorry im rambling on just had a bad morning Adele isnt feeling to great and had been up all night being sick and colby has been screaming to be picked up every 2 mins for the past 20 mins


i think im slipping back into depression and just dont want to admit it

 

[lisa31]

Awwww Weestar hope your ok.

Perhaps you O/H is feeling a bit left out or something? Men are strange like that. I have decided that me and D/H need some time on our own so I have enlisted my mum to look after Heidi one night while we stay in a hotel down the road - even going to book one with a dvd player so we can at least watch a film together. Perhaps something like that may be an idea - you could then get to talk and see whats bothering him?....
Why dont you do it as a surprise that is what I am doing.

I dont blame you for getting a bit peed off with the porn. I personally dont mind it but not in the quantities it seems you keep having the misfortune to come across. Perhaps in a different setting he may be more understanding?!

Keep your chin up gal

L x

 

[lisa31]

I personally dont mind it

That sounds terrible - but you know what I mean!! lol

 

[weestar21]

i do know what u mean lisa....lol i wouldnt mind it so much if it was something we done together but when i suggest it he goes cold on me and says hes to tired. Maybe its me who has the problem as it always seems to be me who makes a move on him

ok i will try not to do anything no hugs or kisses and this will e so hard as i love my hugs at least that way i might be able to get him to talk to me cos he will wonder whats up grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i wish we could go book into a hotel but we have no one to look after the 2 kids all night his mum would watch them for a few hours but not all night as there is no where at her house for them to sleep and i cant see her comming to ours to stay overnight but its worth a try just asking her because i think that is whats up with me, we dont spend any time together as a couple gawd i havent been in a pub yet
i dont really care about not going out it just seems such an effort even if i ask him to make me a cuppa he huffs n moans now cos hes glued tp the pc.

anyway enough moaning the sun is out and im determind not to feel down today....lol

thanx again you guys its just so good to talk to people who do understand

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Amanda]

I'm sorry you're feeling this low Weestar. I hope you can start to feel better soon and don't revert back to the dreaded weed. Look at how proud you were of yourself when you quit.

As for the porn thing, I'll probably shock a few people on here with my views, so I apologise in advance.

I always thought porn was nasty and dirty, and something for dirty lonely smelly old men. Same with any sort of sex toy. I was quite shy and restricted in the bedroom, and didn't really enjoy sex. Until I met my DH that is. He is very, very open about the fact that he likes to watch porn, and he has been from the start. I don't know what the difference is, but when he told me, it didn't disgust me, it intrigued me. He even has a women 'pleasuring herself' as his screensaver on his mobile, and he has even shown his parents, he is that open about it. He came home with a DVD one day not long into the relationship, and suggested that we put it on whilst we 'played' ourselves. It was a complete eye-opener for me. He then bought us some 'toys' from Ann Summers online and we play together with them. They are not something that we ever use seperately, they are used when we are together. I went to Amsterdam on a hen weekend about 18 months ago, and spent over £100 in the shops over there!!! He buys me sexy underwear which I love wearing for him, even though before I met him I would only get undressed with the lights off. The point I am trying to make is that we enjoy these things together, and on the one occasion that I have caught him watching porn on his own, it didn't disgust me, I just made a joke out of it.

Sorry if this doesn't help in your situation Weestar, but I just wanted to make you aware that there is an alternative, and porn isn't necessarily dirty. Some of the stuff out there is not my cup of tea, but we stick to what we know and like.

Oh, also I thought I better tell you that this has all stopped since I got my BFP. We talked about it, and both of us decided that we wouldn't feel comfortable using a vibrator while I was pregnant. It has all been packed away ready for the house move, and will be used again once LO is here.

 

[lisa31]

Umm dont really know what to suggest if he is not keen on you getting involved in it - I would ask him outright why not?

Hope things are ok

L x

 

[weestar21]

well last night he came home from work and seemd in a pretty good cuddly horny mood, as i was in the kitchen making colbys bottles he was standing behind just holding me. i turned round so we were face to face and i asked him straight out if he wants someone else. His eyes filled with tears and my heart was pounding he said ' babe your the only one in my life, you have gave me 2 gorgeous daughters, your a wonderfull mum to them and your just amazing' he held me in his arms so tight it was just all weird cos hes never done or said anything like that before especially cos the tears were running down his face. Whats worrying me now last night i couldnt sleep i was rattling my brains all night trying to find an answer to why i feel this way and i couldnt come up with an answer except the dreaded one that ive been kidding myself i aint got depression but deep down i know i have. Im trying to stay positive kidding myself im not depressed but early hours thismorning because i couldnt sleep i decided to wax my legs....lol i ran out of wax half way through and i sat and cryed for almost 2 hrs over it (feel really stupid now for doing it but at the time it felt like the end of the world...lol)

today im planning on staying out as its supposed to be hot today so we shall see if not im just going to go a big long walk they say thats good for when your feeling down is it true?

anyway im off bb all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[weestar21]

p.s i took your advice you gave to someone else lisa....lol ive booked a girl to come out saturday morning to get all my hair done maybe it will brighten me up im going for a total different look so will put a pic up now i know how to do it....lol