Its all to much :(

Discussion in 'Long Term TTC & Fertility Issues' started by Chazabell, Dec 20, 2011.

  1. Chazabell

    Chazabell Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2010
    Messages:
    2,691
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ive been thnking too much lately, about what the nurse said about IUI and how i have wished the last 2 years away, and how we may still have a long way to go. And ive been researching and dreaming and its all gotten too much to accept :cry:

    OH came home from work and i was a wreck, almost inconsolable. Everything was getting to me, everytime i talk about TTC i cry.

    I don't feel at all christmassy which sucks because its my fave time of year, and i don't wanna wish 2012 away, you only get 1 life :(

    Im gonna see whats said on Thursday and then try and take a mini break from TTC and not think about things (if at all possible)

    Another depressing post from me i know, but i know i dont have to put a front on with you guys xxxx
     
  2. Kay Kay

    Kay Kay Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2011
    Messages:
    2,709
    Likes Received:
    1
    hey chaz i was just off to bed but wanted to say i totally get how you're feeling and know how much it hurts :-( just wanna give you a hug. i think christmas and new year just heightens all your emotions. esp new year i just know i'm gonna be sobbing like a toddler cos my dreams didn't come true this year :cry:

    i think if you can take a break from ttc then do it, i'm thinking of doing the same myself if no success in Jan cos i do question my sanity with it all sometimes. i also understand what you mean about the last 2 years and wishing your life away, i only had 6 months of married life not ttc (a very happy 6 months!!!)and the rest has been this rollercoaster of emotions and mostly pain and disappointment. not fair :-(

    we'll get through this hun i know we will, be strong xxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2011
    Messages:
    3,874
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh Chaz, Im in the exact same position as you. I really feel as though I can't go on this way! I am the most christmassy person around, so much so that folk always tell me they love being near me at Christmas. After yesterday I want to say F off Christmas and New Year and skip life for 2 years! 2014 make it now next 2 years have no point!

    Its hard, I dont have a choice about stopping ttc as no ovulation means no baby so dont even have the chance of a a baby. If you need to take a break then you must do it. Reading my reply now I realise Ive just added downer thoughts but I hope that knowing that someone else is in the same boat and you can talk about it helps in a strange way.

    Hey, one positive, Im up and stopped crying!!!!
     
  4. LouiseB

    LouiseB Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2010
    Messages:
    7,662
    Likes Received:
    1
    I just accept that i'm not going to be happy until i've got a baby - whether that is a year away or 10 years away so i've just got to suck it up and get on with whatever i have to do.

    Accepting your situation for what it is, is all part of being able to enjoy the other aspects of your life.

    You seem to still be fighting it when you have no control over it and therefore making yourself very upset when it doesn't help anyone and might even make things worse.

    I know that saying "it'll happen when it'll happen" is generally grumbled at, but it is also very true. You are doing everything possible to maximise the chance of it happening and that is all you can do - it's all that anyone can do.

    All the boxes are ticked, so you just need to stick your feet up and wait it out until some more boxes need ticking :hug:
     
  5. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2011
    Messages:
    7,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    i never ever expected ttc to be so heartbreaking but we can all get through it! after all we have out own little ttc family on here to help each other and rant at each other!

    always here for a chat hun xxx
     
  6. Corrinne37

    Corrinne37 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2011
    Messages:
    3,337
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Chaz, Kay Kay, Laurat, and Louise, Nicky,

    Its all too much is just the way I feel too!! All too much to even think about anymore!!

    I know I am in a slightly different position to you, as I do already have a son. And I have also had two MMC's . But still im sure the pain and frustration and disappointment is very much the same.

    I know just what you mean Kay kay, about the new year too, two years running now I said this will be my year and just wasnt mean t to be. So now Im not wishing for a baby, but just to be happy.

    I feel Like I have tried so hard for the last two years and with two losses its just all too painful to go there.
    The emotional roller coaster and the affect on my relationship is immense. The first one kind of brought us a bit closer , but the effect of 2nd one, we are still poles apart. That I have resigned myself to thinking that like Louise says what will be will. Im 38 in Jan so have been trying to speed things up , but hasnt worked!
    I tried to to make it happen, and I haven't, that I just cant try anymore.
    I leave it to the powers that be, I just hold my hands up and say over to you!

    So yes, just keep doing what your doing but dont let it stress you out (easier said than done I know!), but there is a lot for just enjoying your self and going with the flow!!

    Let go girlies!!! And just maybe , just maybe it will come back to you. xxx Good luck. xxxxx
     
    #6 Corrinne37, Dec 21, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2011
  7. Chazabell

    Chazabell Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2010
    Messages:
    2,691
    Likes Received:
    0
    You have summed it up Lou, im fighting with myself over it and struggling to accept it all.

    Its daft but true :(

    Hopefully will get some answers and a plan of action tomorrow xxx
     
  8. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2011
    Messages:
    27,558
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi sweetie,

    I am not technically LTTC but I hope you don't mind me sticking my nose in?

    I totally, totally understand where you are coming from.

    TTC has unleashed a monster in me and I am quite scary these days.

    We are only date watching but it's got to the stage where I am cancelling plans (and making my OH cancel plans) because I am "fertile"

    OH recently went to Japan and sods law was away for my whole fertile time. I was fine with him going but when I checked the dates and realised he missed my whole fertile window I all but begged him not to go???

    Last night OH put his foot down and said it has to stop...

    I agree... In the past 7 months I have either been TTC, pregnant or getting over a miscarriage. I've not been a good GF or friend as I am obsessed with getting pregnant....

    I just want you to know that I understand what you are going through and think a break is a good idea, or maybe just take it down to NTNP?

    I have an appointment in early Jan and we'll carry on NTNP ourselves. Of course I'll know when I am most fertile but there will be no pressure on my OH... At the moment I am being a little too demanding and there is no romance or lust in our sex life.

    I want a baby more than I want anything BUT am I willing to alienate my OH and make him feel like a sperm donor?

    I am going to try and find a way to get back to being a couple that enjoys each other!

    xxxxxxxxxxx
     
    #8 CARNAT22, Dec 21, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2011
  9. kirstymichelle

    kirstymichelle Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2011
    Messages:
    1,592
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh Chaz , i have pushed on with things in my life outside of TTC , like made plans for if it doesnt happen, spoken to OH about it too , you see its me thats the problem not him and he has no children, so i asked him if he'd like to search on in life for a partner to have his own children with , and he said no . I feel guilty that i cant give him this. But i have started college, will go to uni qualify as a nurse and live a good life x x x
     
  10. Vickyxx

    Vickyxx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2010
    Messages:
    4,006
    Likes Received:
    1
    I really think its this time of the year that makes us reflect more on our situation, everyone knows xmas is a time for family but when you are trying so desperately for your own family it can become a very sad time.

    I think all of us ladies on here can associate with what you are feeling, and we all have days when we allow these feelings to completely overwhelm us to the point where it seems it will never happen.

    I have had days where I have just cried and cried and been terrified at the prospect of this journey carrying on for years to come.

    But the one thing I have always believed in is that I will be a mummy one day, whether its from an operation, drugs, IVF, surrogacy or adoption, I will be a mummy and a bloody brilliant one at that, and I believe that about all of you ladies on here.

    xxx
     
  11. MissJuly10

    MissJuly10 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2010
    Messages:
    13,877
    Likes Received:
    14
    Sorry you're feeling rubbish Chaz. :(

    I felt the same as you at one point, I felt better when I accepted there was something not working and I joined you lovely ladies in here. It felt like such a relief to (as Louise says) stop fighting what I already knew and to change my perspective on it.

    Don't get me wrong, there are still days where I want to curl up in the corner and bawl my eyes out though!

    We will ALL get there, one way or another. :hugs:

    My husband said something to me the other day, a really simple thing but at the time, I was an emotional mess and I thought it was really sweet. He said "everyone in life is on their own journey, on their own path with their own chapters to go through. Ours is a bit longer but it's ok cos we'll get there one day, just not at the same time as everyone else". :cry:

    I bawled some more after that!!

    It is a really daunting thing to face - going through consultants and tests to get to that bloody BFP, especially when it feels like everyone around you just has to look at their OH to get pregnant, but when you're holding that gorgeous little bundle in your arms for the first time, knowing how hard the TTC journey was and how long it took to get there, all the emotion poured into it, the tears, the frustration and most importantly, the determination, it will be so, so worth it. :love:

    Maybe you and your OH could book into somewhere in the New Year and take some time out to breathe.

    Huge hugs honey.

    x x
     
  12. BabyLover

    BabyLover Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2009
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know exactly how you are feeling, especially when we got the news about our IVF treatment, but with us having hope for the Adoption process it has perked me up a bit. But again I have been feeling the same as you and there is nothing anyone can say to cheer you up or make you feel better, because it's you going through this and not them...

    My husband has been my rock through all this process and continues to be. It's even more hard when your hubby say's to you - 'You might as well just leave me because I cannot give you what you want and that is a baby' I was crying so much and telling him he was being daft, that's heartbreaking. I told him stop being daft and that we will get through this, which we will and you will too whatever path you choose and everything thing that hit's you in your life.

    Chin up and stay positive, you will get their in the end and be the best mummy in the world

    Donna x
     
    #12 BabyLover, Dec 21, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2011

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice