Its All About O...

[HopesDreams]

I never really made much use of my pregnancy journal, I never knew what to write! I had pretty much decided that because of this there would be no point in doing a parenting journal. Who would want to read it anyway? It would just be me waffling, which I do enough of on the forum! All that said, I find myself sitting here starting a parenting journal. It doesn't matter if I waffle. It doesn't matter if nobody reads it. Its as good a place as any to log things to look back on. Time seems to be passing so quickly at the moment that one day rolls into the next & I lose track of time.

O was born on the 22nd March. The birth story is here: http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/birth-announcements/345271-little-baby-o.html
Being a single mummy has been the hardest, most rewarding job I've ever had to do. Even through moments of sleep deprivation, sleep deprivation where coffee just wouldn't cure it, I can say with certainty that I've never been happier.

I breastfed O for the first week & then combination fed him for the second week. On the 3rd week we moved completely over to formula. Hats off to anyone that breastfeeds whether its breastfeeding, expressing or combination feeding. I sometimes regret not persevering but moving to formula feeding was the right choice for me & O at that particular time.

O is just the perfect little man now. He's 10 weeks, cooing & chattering to anyone that will give him 5 seconds. He wakes once during the night for a feed & naps well most days. He's the happiest, smiliest wee baby & he's just a pleasure to be around. I'm a very proud mama & I'm so excited for the future!

I'm so grateful to the members on PF. I never thought something like this would provide friends. I thought I would just use & abuse it for information when pregnant. You're a brilliant bunch of girls, so supportive, so friendly & I can't wait to see what the future has in store for all of you.

x

 

[babybee]

Aww yay HD!! Love the start to your journal, O is a gorgeous little man.
Xxx

 

[CeeCee]

Yay will be stalking your parenting journal HD! X

 

[diane]

Lovely journal hun!!! Get a pic on of your stunning chap! X

 

[HopesDreams]

We had a brilliant weekend - beach on Friday, day on the farm on Saturday, paddling pool on Sunday. O is such a joy to be around now. Not that he wasn't enjoyable to be around before but now his personality has come out & it's great! He makes me smile & laugh every single day & I honestly don't know how I wasn't bored before he came along. Though, when he's older & more physically active I'll probably lust after one of those "boring" days.

 

[HopesDreams]

Well we're just home from his 12 week jags. He smiled during the first one & when he realised it was happening a second time he broke his wee heart. Brave brave wee bubba.

 

[HopesDreams]

I was looking back through some old posts of mine & I had forgotten how scared/anxious I was about being a single mother. I questioned if I could give the baby everything he needed - stability, financially, emotionally. I worried that people would judge me for being a single mother. I worried that every time I met somebody new I would be met with that awkward conversation about where the father was, or something to that effect.
I listened to people say that a child needs two parents & it made me feel like shite to be honest. Its maybe what people think a child needs, its not always what they get & that doesn't mean that O will suffer for it or that I am a lesser parent for raising him by myself. That remark isn't directed at anybody by the way.
I have spent the last 14 weeks being the happiest that I have ever been. Yes, there have been tough moments. Moments when O is teething/going through a leap & I have nobody to turn to & say "your turn". I forget what a lie in feels like. I forget what having a coffee "just because" feels like. Now I drink the stuff to function from one end of the day to the other. But most mums feel like that, single or otherwise. I lust after support sometimes. Sometimes it would be nice to get a cuddle at the end of a long day & hear that I'm doing a good job. Stupid, I know, but that's how I feel. I'll probably be an undateable for the foreseeable future but I'm more than ok with that. Why would I give up precious time with my mini Mr Right?
I've come to realise that I don't need to feel embarrassed. I didn't do anything wrong. I have nothing to apologise for or feel awkward about. I have a beautiful son. He's happy, very happy. He's well loved, well provided for & he has plenty of positive role models in his life. He's the best reason in the world to get out of bed & not have a lie in. He's the reason I don't mind seeing the wee small hours. He's my motivation to get on & make a go of working from home like I've wanted to for years. He's a brilliant wee person & the best motivation, ever.
He's amazing & he makes me want to be amazing too.

 

[Sassyjane]

Just found this, your an amazing mummy to O, and a fantastic friend Hun, he is such a lucky boy, and I'm a lucky girl to have a friend like you! Looking forward to following your's and O's journey through life! Xx


Tired Mummy to Colby Jacques born 4/2/2013

 

[HopesDreams]

Aw thank you hun. I just seen this now. It's amazing how much a part of my life my PF girls have been since I got pregnant. I would never have thought i would stick around a forum like this, nevermind making what I consider genuine friendships on it. I said it somewhere else but when I signed up to pf I basically just thought I'd use/abuse it for pregnancy info' & be off....yet O is 15 weeks & I'm still very much here.

 

[HopesDreams]

O rolled from front to back today for the first time. I reckon it could have been purely accidental but we have to start somewhere!

 

[babybee]

Yay!! Go O!

 

[HopesDreams]

So O is rolling back to front with ease now. He done a double roll yesterday....show off.
His wee personality is so strong now. He knows what he wants & doesn't want & he's not shy to let you know!
We got sale agreed on a house on Tuesday so fingers crossed we will have our own wee home soon. It means so much to me to make an absolute fresh start for us both after all the crap before he was born.

 

[CeeCee]

Yay so happy for you! Hope everything goes well and it'll all be great for you both to have that new start. Forget the past focus on yours and Os happy future ahead!! xx I need to be kept updated though! Lol

 

[HopesDreams]

So it seems that the big old 4 month sleep regression train has come thundering into town. I knew it was rough but I didn't realise it was this rough. I'm about to begin night #4 & my body is exhausted thinking about what lies ahead.
I feel sorry for O because you can see on his wee face that he's so pissed off to be awake, again. I'm hoping it doesn't last long but the "pro's" all seem to think you should count yourself lucky if you fall into the 2-6 weeks group. 6 weeks?! *shudders*

 

[Msclaireypants]

So it seems that the big old 4 month sleep regression train has come thundering into town. I knew it was rough but I didn't realise it was this rough. I'm about to begin night #4 & my body is exhausted thinking about what lies ahead.
I feel sorry for O because you can see on his wee face that he's so pissed off to be awake, again. I'm hoping it doesn't last long but the "pro's" all seem to think you should count yourself lucky if you fall into the 2-6 weeks group. 6 weeks?! *shudders*

Oh honey I hate to tell you but if it's the same thing that happened to Spencer... it lasted 9 weeks!!! It started at 16 weeks x


My lovely little man Spencer 28/2/2013 6lbs 3.5ozs

 

[HopesDreams]

Spencer was the 1st baby I thought of when it happened on the second night. Do you think it was sleep regression now looking back? I genuinely feel lost trying to help him Clairey. I know people say that all you can do is be there for them (& that makes sense) but it doesn't seem like enough, especially when the hours are ticking away & you realise that's your night of sleep gone. God, I'm a yap!

 

[Msclaireypants]

Spencer was the 1st baby I thought of when it happened on the second night. Do you think it was sleep regression now looking back? I genuinely feel lost trying to help him Clairey. I know people say that all you can do is be there for them (& that makes sense) but it doesn't seem like enough, especially when the hours are ticking away & you realise that's your night of sleep gone. God, I'm a yap!

I honestly have absolutely no idea because we had the same bad night last night! Up crying every 10 minutes and so so upset and tired! And he's now been up for the day since 5.30!

It's so hard and hopefully it won't last too long with you but you've just got to do anything you can to get through it. My mum keeps saying I need to stop running to him when he screams and stop letting him sleep on me but when you're only getting two or three hours of sleep per night you'll do anything just to get through x


My lovely little man Spencer 28/2/2013 6lbs 3.5ozs

 

[HopesDreams]

You're absolutely right. I think "old school" parents have that mentality of not pandering to them but I couldn't do it. I want sleep & I want him to sleep.
My mum was a mum like us, did what she could when she could etc. but my nan is so old school. It seems no matter what you do you're spoiling them.
I put a big fleece blanket down on the floor in the mornings (until I find a big playmat in the shops) & I scatter it with toys for O. Nan said I had "more money then wit" yesterday. Aye right! Oh & "in my day you just gave them a pot & wooden spoon & didn't waste money". This is a wee woman I love to death but she's changed since the baby has come along. Mum says she's always been like that. My mum lived with them for a few months when i was born & she said she went to bed most nights in tears. So I'm going to nip it in the bud when she next comes out & read her the riot act.

 

[HopesDreams]

Well O had his first taste of spoon feeds today. Tried him with a wee bit of baby rice this morning. He puked after it but didn't seem to dislike it while eating it.
Tried him with a wee bit of mushed up banana this afternoon & he loved it. He was reaching for the spoon.
I can't believe my wee man isn't far off eating proper food! It only seems like yesterday that I was bringing this defenceless wee man home from the hospital. Now I think he & granddad would go feral if I let them out of my sight for too long!

 

[HopesDreams]

I'm just sitting here listening to O laughing in his sleep. It's got to be one of the best sounds ever.
I can't believe how much he has changed & grown in 6 months. That wee defenceless bundle I brought home from the hospital seems so long ago now.
He has developed sack loads of personality, he's Mr Sociable & loves a good natter with anyone that will entertain the idea. He started commando crawling (everywhere!) since the weekend & is determined to get stuck into things he's not allowed to. If I tell him "No pet, that's dangerous" then that seems to signal to him to go for it.
He's established weaning now, 3 meals a day & 3 7oz bottles. The lad is like his mammy, he loves his grub!
I collected the keys for our new home today. Excited isn't the word, it's something much more than that. This is the beginning of a new chapter for us both, a fresh start. I can't wait. There's a lot of work to do over the next few months between the house, becoming self employed, O, Christmas but as Clairey keeps telling me, each day is a new day & it will all be worth it in the end. Amen!