Hello, I have been reading this forum for some time now and finally have the guts to write my story. I am 24 and engaged to the most wonderful man in the world, we are hoping to marry at christmas, whos 29 whom i love dearly, he has a 4 year old son from a previous marriage. We have been trying for a baby for a year this month and so far nothing has happened. I was on the depo provera jabs for a few months as i have had terrible probs with my periods in the past, i have fits and blackouts. It was never used for contraception but as a last ditch hope to sort out the problems following all sorts of painkillers. My best freind has a 5 day old baby boy and is doing really well, i have struggled throughout her pregnancy to control my sadness as we started trying to conceive at the same time (she already has 2 boys) every month passed and she got bigger and bigger and now the baby has been born i am still wating. We got invited to see him for the first time last night and i couldnt go, i had to make up a story about being ill as i couldnt bring myself to see him. It would have destroyed me so i didnt go and sent my OH to drop off the pressie and card. When he returned he had bumbed into his ex wife and she had broken the news that she is 8 weeks PG, she hadnt planned it and wanted no more children with her new partner. The OH took it very well but yet again i boke down in tears. She picks up my step son 3 times a week (he lives half with us and half with his mum) how can i face her and not cry? How can i endure 9 months of the friend talking babies and a 4year old talking about his little bro/ sis to be? I cry as write this as life seems so unfair. We really want a baby and others dont even have to try to get PG. To make things worse the my doctor has given me until end of April to get normal period and/ or PG and then they will do tests. I have had to wait a year for this and now i am scared and dont know what 'test's' to expect. How can i gather the strength to put up with seeing everyone around me with babies or PG? To top things off two months ago i had a very early suspected miscarriage which was horrible to go through, i know there is nothing wrong with my fiance as he has a son it must be me? Why is it only me that takes months to conceive?