Is it too late?

[Mel_]

My baby is 7 weeks old today.
When she was born I started breastfeeding, and of course incounterd all the usual problems, mostly feeding SO frequently was very stressful and tbh I didnt really understand that it was normal, due to not having any support in the first week or so (coz my health visitor was on holiday, she visited on the 3rd day, which was a fat lot of good, it's a little later that i needed the help. and i havent seen her since)
Anyway... I really tried, but I fed her for ages (a good half hour or more) on one breast and straight onto the other breast and she was still hungry and ended up constantly screaming all day and we couldnt do anything to settle her and it was so stressful and everyone (my family etc) kept on saying "are you sure she's getting enough?" (errm no i'm not sure at all!!)
I got told to try expressing milk between feeds!! I was like WHAT??! there IS no "between feeds"!! so this was impossible!
So i never really had any support, and I didnt have time to get near the computer to use this site.
Anyway we ended up giving her a bottle and she was finally content, to start with she was just having one bottle a day in the afternoon and I was BF the rest of the time, then she started having one before bed too.

(By the way she has always slept through the night for at least 6 hours sometimes more so I never had night feeds which might not have helped with my milk supply.)

So now she has one breast when she wakes up in the morning she has the other a hour or so later and then after each BF she has a bottle, I hate giving her bottles and the reason I'm here is because last night she kept crying while i was trying to feed her and kinda pushing me away and it was really upsetting esspecially when she seemed so happy when she was given a bottle.
I know I've totaly messed it up but I honestly dont think I had a choice and now there seems to be no turning back.
Oh i'm sorry i've just gone on and on I dont really know what I want to hear as a responce tbh hopefully someone else has been in this situation, I just dont want to give up BF.

 

[xNataliex]

Hi Mel,

I had a similar situation a few weeks ago and was really ready to give up. I had been breastfeeding exclusivley for about 4 weeks and my baby had begun to be really fussy at feed times and cry alot. It was really upsetting and so I gave in and gave him a few bottles over one weekend just for a break to be honest and to see if it would fill him up. It worked but my milk supply died down and it made things even harder for about a week.

I have however kept on - with the help of a breastfeeding support group - and now my milk is back and I'm more determinded to carry on and glad I didn't give up.

I would try to get off the bottle (the baby, not you!) and gradually build your milk up. Keep positive and I'm sure you will suceed. I feel really proud of myself and I know exactly how you are feeling. I haven't done expressing that much as it's hard work - just keep putting your baby to the breast and hopefully nature will do it's thing.

PM me anytime!

 

[Becky101]

Hi Mel,

Just wanted to offer my support. I have been bf for 6 months now and at the beginning it was very tough but I am glad I have stuck with it.

Have a look at the La Leche website and find your local group, they should be able to put you in touch with a local breastfeeding advisor who may be able to come out to help you:
http://www.laleche.org.uk/

I was lucky that at our local hospital they run a breastfeeding clinic with a MW and a la leche BF counsellor and if you have any problems you can attend. Jack wasn't latching on properly at the beginning, I wasn't sure he wasn't getting enough. I took him along and I got one to one support for 1 1/2 hrs which was great. Although I already had damaged nipples by then, they helped me fix the latching on and we haven't really looked back!

 

[Mel_]

Thankyou for your replys I want to try one of those support groups but I am a bit scared (I dont know why, I know i'm stupid, but I dont like to ask for help mostly because it's too late, I couldnt make enough milk for her when she was a week old there's no way I'll make enough now)
I just tried expressing some and barely got a dribble out (about an ounce from both breasts in about half an hour) and I was so dissapointed, I havent tried expressing that many times, the most I ever got was almost 3 ounces from 1 breast and that was a whole nights build up. I am so close to just giving up but I really dont want to, I'm such a crap mum!

 

[lauramumof2]

I'm such a crap mum!

Ehhhh,, I dont think so. You are bursting your ass trying to bf and do the right thing. Dont think that you havent done your best.

Someone suggested to me a sleepin, I think it was Kina, where you just spent the whole day in bed with the baby just feeding, feeding feeding. You could go a good few days just feeding her but im sure it would increase your supply.

I hope you are taking something from the messages, you sound as though you are really struggling. I was unsuccessfull with the bf and I really really regret it.

Take care

Laura

 

[Freya]

NO YOU ARE NOT A CRAP MUM

If you were you wouldn't even be concerned about what you are or what you are not doing.

Whatever you decided regarding the feeding I wish you every success. BUT just remember being a good mum is not just about how you fed your child at the beginning of their life!!

 

[Nicky_Jones]

The breastfeeding support groups are fantastic. I was initally worried about going along but I was so glad I did. They were so supportive. They will look at your latch and positioning and will help you get that part right. If your latch isn't good, your LO won't be stimulating your milk supply properly, and then you won't produce enough milk.

As to expressing this does not stimulate you as well as your LO. It is not easy at all. Even for me and I have been breastfeeding for nearly a year now. I still find it hard to express off enough milk for Ellies milk feed that she still has at nursery. I have no problems satisfying her when I am with her. Breast pumps just don't do a good enough job.

Don't beat yourself up at all. However if you do still want to try and carry on breastfeeding. Please go along to a support group. They are not judgemental in any way they want what is best for you and your baby. My trouble was mainly caused by having flat nipples. I didn't realise that I had TBH, and they showed me ways around this. My other problems were due to the stitches I had after giving birth making it painful to sit, coupled with my arms being so strained after giving birth, I could barely hold my Ellie. They showed me how to feed lying down with her, which was so much easier.

Whatever happens good luck and well done.

 

[Becky101]

You are not a crap Mum, if you were you wouldn't be trying so hard for your baby. Like you say if you had been given the right support in the beginning then you probably wouldn't be here now.

It is rare that people don't produce enough milk, but unfortunately well meaning friends and family try and give you advice which is incorrect and then you get into a situation that you never wanted to be in.

I felt the same as yuou about the support groups. I felt really stupid going but it was the best thing I could have done. Luckily my husband was around to come with me. Have you got a partner or friend that could come with you and give you some support?

Have a look at this link it may explain about your milk supply better:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T023200.asp
There is lots of good info on the site about BF.

Re expressing milk, your body is only producing what it needs to, so you need to express regularly to build up your supply. No one gets loads off on the first go, just keep trying the same time everyday (if possible).

I always try and drink 1/2 pint before every feed and you must make sure you are drinking well and get enough rest. A sleepin also sounds like a good idea. Maybe you need to forget about everything else and just concentrate on your baby for a few days.

PM me if you want to chat
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