Is it too early to tell people?

[LJD]

A question for you guys... I am 4 weeks pregnant having got the BFP yesterday! we wanted to tell both our parents this weekend as I feel like I don’t want to be telling them white lies when we go to theirs and I don’t have a drink etc. We thought, tell the parents and our brother and then wait to tell everyone else (apart from my best friend who knows)

but OH’s mum said she thinks it’s a little early to be telling anyone at all. She is really excited and happy but says she wouldn’t tell anyone not even OH brother (were really close) as if anything was to go wrong it would be more painful. I get that But I feel deflated after leaving her house.
She was so happy and cried happiness but I think she secretly thinks it’s too early to have even told her! Thoughts? I’m 4 weeks. I’m just excited but I do get what she means xxxx

 

[chattychar1990]

I agree with her. 4 weeks is VERY early! I would wait until your 12 week scan to tell people however if you told oh’s mum then you should also tell your mum and keep it at that.

 

[SockVortex]

You can tell whoever you want whenever you want as long as you’re comfortable doing so. At four weeks we only told close family and the rest we waited until the 12 week scan.

Obviously I have no idea where in the world you are so this may not be applicable but, if in the UK, please make sure you’re keeping two metres apart from people and staying in gardens when visiting relatives

 

[LJD]

Thanks for your advice... yeah think we will just tell mums and try and wait patiently!!

 

[TTC no2]

I told my parents at about 6 weeks. I'd want their support if anything happened. Friend at work sussed me out bit further on. Didnt tell siblings and OH mum til 18 weeks. ( we wanted to wait till we got some results back) other than that we wouldve spilled beans about 12 weeks.
Do what u feel is right for u. X

 

[EmilyMaria]

Telling is a personal choice.
I told quite a few people early. My parents, my brothers and couple of close friends. If we had lost the baby it would not have been a secret from them anyway because I would have wanted their support.
Just tell people you trust and would comfortable with talking to if you did have some bad news.

 

[WinterWolf]

You can tell anyone you want at 4wks, you just need to be prepared to also tell them if you lose the baby. I told my mum the second I got a positive both times. Waited a week to tell hubby’s parents. Then both times we’ve told friends/colleagues/family at around 17wks (several of my family members have had 16wk losses so to me, that’s the end of the super risky period). Though last pregnancy I wasn’t showing at 17wks. This time if we weren’t in lockdown people would’ve been able to tell by 8wks hahah

 

[LJD]

Thanks everyone. I suppose it is a personal thing and it all depends on whether you’re prepared to speak to the people you tell if anything goes wrong. I feel like the people that I would tell are the people that I would want to know If I lost the baby anyway... hmmmm will have a think xx

 

[Kitana]

With DD1 I waited till 12 weeks to tell anyone, then with the second pregnancy, I had told at 6 weeks and I lost the baby at 12 weeks. I really regretted telling so many people because a lot of them wanted to comfort me and I didn't want anyone to talk to me. Even my SIL with whom I don't have a good bond, wanted to come over to play board games with her boyfriend 2 days after the surgery. I mean how is that even supposed to help.
With my DD2, I told at 14 weeks because I just couldn't hide it anymore.

In the end it is your choice but be careful, 4 weeks is very very early. I totally agree with your MIL.x

 

[H16]

We’ve told our families and a few friends already (7 weeks). I’ve had a miscarriage before and support from friends and family got me through it so for me that wasn’t a factor in not telling. However it won’t be announced to anyone else until after the scan x

 

[exohx123]

it's up to you when you tell people. we told parents at 8-9 weeks and no one else will know until after our scan on thurs x