Is it normal for a woman who is 8 wks pregnant to suddenly avoid her partner totally

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Neesham, Jan 3, 2016.

  1. Neesham

    Neesham New Member

    Jan 3, 2016
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    We leased this apartment, were supposed to move in together on Dec 30, and had big plans for the New Year and then, all of a sudden, she told me we are moving in on Jan 5 instead and cancelled on the New Year plans saying we should spend time with each others' friends instead. She didn't even call or text me during the New Year. She is my fiance.

    In the last couple of weeks, she completely stopped answering my calls, replying to my texts. It's like she completely cut me off her life. It's almost like she dumped me. Both of us have no prior experience with pregnancy, so may be that's why I'm overreacting.

    When I pushed her to at least tell me what this was about, she said she is going through mood swings and wants nothing more than friendship at this stage. She doesn't want any emotions. And told me to just treat her like a friend and not a fiance until this phase blows away. And also told me to act as if I had been in that place for a while when we finally move in next week.

    I was just worried if she was done with me. I don't mind giving her time alone with her friends, but I had no clue the mood swings were this bad. So, right now, I stopped texting or calling her too. I'm just waiting for her to do that when she feels better but so far I haven't heard from her for days. I don't know where she is staying or with whom. She wouldn't tell me anything.

    I just want to help her by absorbing all her mood swings and make her feel better by helping, assisting and serving her, massaging her, cooking her food, do the chores and all but she doesn't even want to see me and won't give me a chance to be helpful. She told me that even her friend felt the same when she was pregnant. Like she didn't want to see her husband at all.

    So, my questions are the following. Please help me out here as I have not idea about the mood swings and I'm really concerned here:

    1. Is it normal for some women to want to completely avoid their partners during this stage of pregnancy (8 weeks)?

    2. How long does it last?

    3. The important one. When she does give me a chance to move in, how can I be that 'friend' that she wants me to be? Like what are the changes I need to make in my behavior and relationship? Should I just do whatever she says and leave her alone or offer to help her myself without her asking?

    PS: She is 45. This is her first baby through IVF. I'm 27. Not that it matters to us, but just letting you guys know.

    Thanks in advance. Really need some advice badly.
  2. Copterpops

    Copterpops Well-Known Member

    Oct 29, 2015
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    Didn't want to read and run, but sounds like you are going through a pretty shitty time.

    I have nothing useful to put in the mix, but hope you are able to sort everything out soon.
  3. Mrsbee

    Mrsbee Well-Known Member

    Oct 16, 2014
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    Hey, this sounds like a tricky situation and I'm not at all experienced but I can give you my opinion based on how me and my other half are through my pregnancy so far.

    1) I'm 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow, I've totally gone off sex ( we were a 3x a day couple before). I'm soooo snappy with him, he does anything that's not quite right it grinds my gears and I have a go at him.

    2) how long it lasts depends on the woman. Like anything really. Maybe with her IVF and her slightly older age there's more she might feel to worry about, and IVF is a rough time for any couple, my sister had IVF and I know her and her hubby went through a stage a bit similar to this.

    3) I don't really have an answer for this, is she able to have a "heart to heart" with you? Maybe there's something she's worried about but doesn't want to say?

    I really hope this works out for you two xxx

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