is it just me that feels like this?

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Lauz_1601, Feb 11, 2006.

  1. Lauz_1601

    Lauz_1601 Well-Known Member

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    I dont feel ready yet to leave Ella with my oh's parents, she isn't 6weeks yet. I have left her with my mum once when I went for a hair cut and oh doesnt understand why I wont leave her with his parents yet. We just had an arguement about it, it's not that I dont trust his parents or anything but i guess its just an over protective motherly instinct thing, they also have a dog which is another reason I wont leave her. but he just doesn't understand and I will leave her with them when she is a bit older and when I feel ready to. Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?
     
  2. Kerry

    Kerry Well-Known Member

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    I didn't leave my first one with anyone till he was about 9 months old!! And even then I hated it. Whats nice he is has never been clingy because of it as we used to spend lots of time visiting people and with family etc. Now they both love going to grandparents for sleepovers etc!!
     
  3. minikins

    minikins Well-Known Member

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    I feel this still and Dom is 6 months. We have left him at my mums when we went out for the evening, but we stayed at my mums the night anyway and only went out when he was asleep for three hours.

    I think it's a natural mummy bonding and maternal thing.
     
  4. Lauz_1601

    Lauz_1601 Well-Known Member

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    thanks girls, at least now I know Im not the only one that feels like this, in fact I said to oh ask any mother and I bet they are the same, but being male he just doesnt understand. He thinks Im being selfish, but I cant help feeling like this plus i think its a hormonal thing aswell (us girls can blame everything on our hormones right?)

    At home by myself now oh was complaing saying that I wouldn't even let him take Ella to see his parents without me going, so to prove a point iv stayed at home and let hi go and now I feel like shit because im missing her and the house feels so quiet and empty without her.

    anyone else, when did you leave your baby with oh's parents? even if it was just an hour or so?
     
  5. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    I left Seren with OH's mum on Thursday night for about 3 hours (Seren is 6 weeks old at the moment). I get on really well with her, and she will be looking after Seren for a night each week so me and OH can go out, but it'll only be for about 3/4 hours. I miss her horribly though and am always happy to be home so I can give her a massive cuddle and feed her (after a couple of hours I am getting a bit too full) :D
     
  6. Strangeness

    Strangeness Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't leave my son with my fiance's parents no matter how old he was to be honest. I really don't trust them. It's not like I don't get on with them at all but there's just something I don't trust for them to look after him. And I don't even think they'd want to look after him.
     
  7. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

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    I left Jessica with oh's parents when she was 4 weeks old. She was a happy baby and they loved having her and I so much enjoyed the rest. My and dh enjoyed the rest together :D I gave her gran an hour by hour itinary of what Jess would be expecting (bottles, naps etc) and that way Jess knew what to expect and wasnt fazed by being else where.

    I would be more inclined to say leave them with other folks at an early age. It was when jess was a bit older and her gran would come and take her away that I felt the tug on the heart strings. Not that Jess was any less happy to go and now when her grans car pulls up she is jumping up and down.

    I wouldnt fret, you are babys mum and that is that and the final word lies with you.
     
  8. emilia

    emilia Well-Known Member

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    Hi there
    With my first baby (and subsequent babies), I was terribly protective and OH and I did fall out a couple of times! Worst of all ( and this will make you laugh :lol: :lol: ) I wouldn't let MIL push my son in his pram.... why?.... She was pushing him to roughly over the curbs etc.... a bit OTT, but I wanted my baby under my wing and that was that!
    It seems a bit nuts now...
    Emilia xx
     
  9. stephlw25

    stephlw25 Well-Known Member

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    My OHs parents had Jamie for the day on thurs (MIL also had him for a few hours 2 days before that) it felt really strange to be home without him and OH was working so the house was realy quiet!! and yes i did have a little cry!! But i reasured myself that he would be fine, i know he is safe and that is the main thing, she also rang me up to say that he was fine and was giggling with grandad playing with his trains! he also had a full bottle and slept for and hour and a half! so after hearing this i felt soooooooo much better!!
    My parents keep telling me that it will do him good to go with other people for a few hours here and then, which i supose is true, i dont want Jamie being extremly clingy towards me as nursery or school etc will be a nightmare!
    Im now looking into going to a playgroup/mother and baby group just so Jamie gets used to other people and children etc. id like him to mix with other people as i think it benefits them in the long run and makes them stronger more confident people!?!!
    Although at first like you, the thought of even leaving him with anyone else got me so upset and emotional, i just didnt want to leave him! i think thats the same for every mum though!

    Steph x
     
  10. tracyM

    tracyM Well-Known Member

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    I don't think it gets any easier - we carry on protecting them forever

    Our 13 yr old had to tell me off yesterday. Why? Because I looked a bit concerned about him riding his bike (totally unbusy side road, no people or cars about) he pulled up in front of me into a skid and told me 'mum, I'm growing up now, if I fall off it's my own fault, I won't come crying and I'll take myself to hospital'.

    I've let Stuart take Alex out once on his own. I was supposed to catch up on some sleep, but ended up sitting on the bottom step by the front door, telephone in hand waiting for him to call, bawling my eyes out. I told him he's never taking him out again, but I know he will, and I also know it will be a little bit easier next time.

    Tracy xx
     
  11. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't let my OH parents look after Ella. DH is an only child and wore terry nappies, they've not been around a baby since he was little. His mum never seems comfortable holding Ella and when we offered her the chance to change her nappy yesterday she declined, yet I know she'd want to look after her. They hand her back to me when she's crying, so how can I be expected to have any trust in them to look after her for a couple of hours? I just don't feel comfortable at the thought of them looking after her. I know she brought up DH but things have changed a lot since then. Plus my mum is only 1 min walk round the corner whilst they are a 20 min drive away.

    Mum's had Ella for a couple of hours during the day once and is so much more comfortable looking after her, changing her and getting her settled. I trust her so much more. In fact I am going to ask her later if she'll look after Ella for a couple hours in the evening soon when we have got a meal for Fils birthday (hopefully I'll have some milk expressed off!).
     
  12. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

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    hey Lauz...

    I know how you feel, we went out last week and left Naomi with my parents in law. My husband kept saying...they reared me and nothing bad happened! But that was forty years ago, and they are both in their seventies now. I had visions of them dropping her, not knowing what to do should she choke, etc etc.

    I'm just over anxious - and wrong. I know that. But it doesn't stop me feeling that way and precious few people besides new mothers will understand that I am afraid.

    Sue
     
  13. Guest

    Exactly the same hun, down to the dog. OH parents have looked after him for an hour or so at our house but MIL won't put Damien down or stop fussing him - and with his reflux it's not clever but she don't listen!!
     
  14. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    im the same, i hate it.

    we went to Jase's paernts house last weekend and i was on pins, his mum kept trying to take Coby off me and i had to think of excuses quick why she couldnt.

    then he was being passed around between all Jase's family members, i couldnt stand watching that, was terrifed someone would drop him or something.

    this sunday coming im going to brum to see the darkness, i got tickets ages ago and i really dont want to miss out, it means leaving Coby over night with my best mate, and altho she has 2 kids of her own, im still not 100% happy about leaving him. i got visions of me knocking her up when we get back (around 1am) so that i can take him home with me lol
     

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