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Discussion in 'Relationships' started by -, Jul 25, 2005.
I think my OH might be talking to other girls behind my back
How the hell can I cope with anymore?
I hope your Ok... I also think at some stage of pregnancy every pregnant women experiences a little bit of paranoia.. I am sure to tell you that I have and so have other ladies on here to...
I am sure its just your hormones...well I hope it is...
Love Danielle and Bubble xx
He is lying to me - he told me he isn't talking to other girls - I have just had a conversation with a girl on his msn and she was saying she has been chatting to him for a few weeks now -
i feel so fucking useless - what the hell am I supposed to do now? I'm all alone and fucking 3 months pregnant now. I don't know if I can cope anymore. I've had so much to deal with till now.
Hmm I shouldn't be replying to this as I'm a bit biased and very anti men at the moment (mine left for the states when he knew I was pregnant).
Ask him about it and if it's true, ask why he can't have a conversation with you, rather than some random on a PC. Tell him that he should recognise that your emotions are running high at the moment and he should be a bit more considerate.
Tell him if he was being attentive enough to his pregnant wife you wouldn't feel this way in the first place.
Tell him if he doesn't buck his ideas up you will go back to your mums where you will (most probably) get the love and support you need.
It all may be perfectly innocent of course, but going on my past experience of men it's probably not.
he is - ive caught him - this is messages he has sent and their replies....
Hay babe how r u? xx
---- Original Message ----
Heya.. im fine fanx.. you... nd im 14.. y ?
---- Original Message ----
yeah im gud huni, aww ur a little stunner. I was only curious about ur age thats all hun. do you have MSN?
---- Original Message ----
ll tnx n yh i av
the top bit is from him - the next bit her - then him then her.
Try to mentally prepare yourself as well as you do have to think of the baby. I would confront him and say you know he is chatting to other girls and see what he says. Ask him why he feels he has to do this.
Try to find out from this girl where she is from, has she got his mobile number etc and ask her not to contact him again. Tell her you are preggers and that you would prefer it if she didn't get in contact. If he goes mad then ask him why she is so important. If I was chatting to someone and realised they had a preggers girlfrind/wife I'd stay well clear.
Hope this helps a little bit for you.
letme know how things are.
The most worrying bit about all this is that she is 14! How old is your partner!?!
I didn't see the posting after. I did think that when I saw she was only 14!!!!!!
Me here - give me a call or pm me offline if you need a chat.
I may be an old married fart now, but am no stranger to this, although I was not pg at the time.
Grrrrrrrrrr I am well angry for you - we need a chat !
Hiya babe, you know im here for ya to chat whenever and ive already spoke to you about this loads and you know what i think. You, mark and baby will be fine hun. luv ya to bits x
Hi guys - I talked to him - it was all true - and there was more - he came home from work at half 1 yesterday- I spent the next hour screaming and hitting him (which prob didn't help the situation but it helped me) - and he told me he was paranoid that I was doing the same. This had happened once before in february - where I had caught him chatting to other girls.
Of course I am NOT chatting up other guys - sending dirty messages to 14 and 40 year olds (I haven't posted the half of what I found) and nor would I EVER jepordise his trust. Why do men think they can have as many chances in the world?
I have - probably supidly - taken him back and agreed to stay with him for the baby's sake. If I left him what would I do? Bring the baby up on my own with no money, no house and never seeing love or a life again coz I'm a single mum in Milton keynes? Then fight over custody with Mark (OH) till I'm blue in the face. OR get rid of the baby? How can I do that? Only the night before I felt the tiniest flutter of the baby moving (felt like a bubble burst very feintly). Could I really abort now?
I'm so confused.
I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. God what a complete B*&%$^d!
I know you probably feel trapped in a corner now but having a baby on your own needn't mean the end of your life. The beginning may be hard but there are ways to get back on your feet.
The same thing happened to two friends of mine and they both got help with childcare from the government. One has just qualified as a solicitor and the other is going through qualifications to be a nurse. There are also loads of organisations for single parents so you don't end up feeling completely alone.
For the moment if you feel more secure with Mark then don't rush into any quick decisions. You can always change your mind later.
Make sure you ask for lots of support from your friends and family and from people here who will all want to support you.
Thinking of you
Just been thinking about this again. Do you think it's a cry for attention on his behalf? If he didn't want you to find those messages etc he could have easily deleted them. What was happening last time he did this? Were you going through a hard time, or were you arguing or apart from each other? It's not an excuse for him (he has been a total pillock) but maybe there is a way to sort this out and it's his weird way of attention seeking. I think men can feel left out sometimes when their partner is getting all the attention.
Anyway, I'm sure it will all work itself out for you whatever happens - let us know how you are.
hey babe, when i found out my guy was chatting to a girl called manda, i pretended to be him to see what she'd fall into. there was nothing significant in the conversation except she said'' i thought you told me you and mel had split up'' and i was like yeh, but only for a couple of days.. just to see what she said, and she went '' hmmm no you said it was for good'' which made me worry that he was trying to get with her. anyway, i exploded, told her to f*** off and leave me and matt alone, that we were happy and trying for a family etc, so i blocked and deleted her address. then mat came in i exploded at him too, kicking and screaming etc. he denied talking2 her of course.. turns out we both know her... stupid lil idiot she is. i warned him if i ever see anything like that again im out of there straight away and i said '' he can have her move in here''- he hasnt spoken2 her since. we share msn, so i know who he talks to... its sad we shouldnt have to keep leashes on our men...he is free to do as he pleases as long as he doesnt chat to other girls/women behind my back. he has girl mates, they all do.. but now i feel i have 2 be weary of them now aswell.....see how they make us!
I don't know if it's a cry for attention - he's not that type. I found out his passwords after trying to snoop around and then found all these messages. They were only a few days old. I don't think he thought I would see them. He tried saying I had no proof of what he had said - it was them (girls) making it up and causing trouble - but then I told him that it stores the replies (hence why I found above and more).
I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I love him and I have his baby so i stay - but I'm in robot mode. I'm just following orders, not thinking for myself coz I don't know what to think. Even convinced me to change my name to his surname for the babies sake. I can see his point and I agreed, but now I'm a bit more dubious. Suppose I can always change it back.
What on earth am I doing? I know I have to rop this if I want to move on but can I?
Thanks for listening girls - sorry you must call me moaning Sami behind my back! (jk)
'Sami the Strong, Sami the Brave'. You sound like you're having a bloody nightmare. God knows it's hard enough to function in pregnancy anyway.
Well, I've no idea what he's up to. Obviously his behaviour is not acceptable but then he sounds quite committed if he wants you to change your name. How confusing for you! Yes you can change it back through deed poll for about £20 so don't worry.
You're a wonderful, caring, funny girl and you deserve the best!
I'm thinking of you and hope you can sort things out.
I do hope things will work out for you, if you think for 1 minute he is cheating on you, and i mean cheating not just talking then get rid of him.
When i was 17 i met this boy and i was head over heels in love we were together 5 years and engaged, for the last 2 years we were together i thought he was cheating as i was finding girls phone numbers and on one occasion a condom (which we didnt use) he kept talking his way out of it saying that it was someone from work and that the condom had been a prank by the boys, i stayed with him cos i didnt think i would meet anyone else and i loved him to bits, then he went on a lads holiday, 3 months later was his birthday and a card came for him when he opened it it contained a letter from a girl he met on the holiday, after this i split up with him, he begged me to take him back and eventually i did, then i came to my senses and finished it for good.
I had been having abnormal smear tests for 2 years and then i started having break through bleeding so i was sent to see a gynacologist, it turned out i had caught and STD from him and this had led to pre cancerous cells (i know it was from him as he was the only person i'd slept with) although they've got rid of the STD it will remain dormant in my system for the rest of my life and i have a high risk of getting cervical cancer because of this.
If you have read any of my previous posts you will see the problems i have had with this pregnancy with my cervix and probably wont carry full term, all this because of that [email protected][email protected]
Sorry the msg was so long but please dont make the mistake i did, i will live to regret it for the rest of my life.
By the way i'm not Manda that mel talked about earlier
Ditto. It happened to me 5 years ago and I was totally distraught. Never thought my DH (was my DBf) would do that to me and couldn't even imagine some of the things he said he talked about coming from him. I still have trust issues now with him, which is sad