Indefinitely WTT blues...

Discussion in 'Waiting to Try' started by robotgirl, Feb 23, 2016.

  1. robotgirl

    robotgirl New Member

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    Hi all,

    Wanted to come somewhere that I could get some of this off my chest, as I don't feel like I really have anyone to talk to.

    So I'm currently 33, am in a stable relationship, but we've only been together for 18 months or so. The topic of kids comes up occasionally in the abstract sense, but we've never sat down and really said 'Yes, we do want kids together some day' or thought about when this might be. I've always been very wary of saying 'when we have kids' and always phrase it like 'when i one day have a kid'.

    Two of my closest friends have had babies in the last year, and while I am so so happy for them, I'm starting to feel a bit left out and jealous. They're clearly a few years ahead of me and my SO (but younger than me), because they are both married, whereas I know we're not ready for that just yet.
    The thing is, being in my 30's, I now feel like I'm going to have to hurry things along a little, quicker than SO is comfortable with (I would imagine) because I have always wanted two children and time seems to be running out.

    I don't feel like I can chat to my friends about this, in case they misjudge this as bitterness against them, and my family are dying for grandkids so that's also out as they can't be impartial.

    I also don't feel that I can talk to my SO about it, because on our first date (I knowww, what a topic!) he said he used to be dead against having children, but his friend's little one had sort of changed his mind. But that uncertainty has made me feel like he might run away if I bring the topic up, even though deep down I'm sure he wouldn't.

    Argh so yes, I guess I wanted to get all that out, and maybe chat with some likeminded people? I know 33 isn't too late to have a child, but I feel like if we wait much longer to start trying, we might hit trouble, even though I know we're not really ready. We don't even live together yet (something I've been dropping hints about left right and centre) so marriage and babies seems like years down the line.

    How do you guys get through the days where it's just babies everywhere you turn? I'm currently sat here looking at cribs and I don't even know why. I just feel so sad and ridiculously broody!!
     
  2. Colovaria

    Colovaria Member

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    Oh no :( I know how you feel, sometimes I feel like I can't escape babies!

    I think what you need to do, at least in my opinion, is to have a talk with your SO, and see if it's something he'd consider in the near future.

    Could it be that he's feeling the same way as you, but just doesn't know how to broach the subject?
    Bear in mind that he's said his friend's little one had 'sort of changed his mind', so there's hope there!

    First step though, is talking about it, he needs to know how you feel.

    Best of luck :petal:<3
     
    #2 Colovaria, Feb 25, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2016
  3. Charlotte9

    Charlotte9 Well-Known Member

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    Robotgirl

    Glad you joined this sit. You will find loads of support here.

    Not all men are ready to have kids (at least they come across like that). But deep down they all want to be dad's.

    I would suggest is to enjoy sex (dtd) and try not to bring the topic up about babies. Cause talking about it will only stress him out.

    Do you use protection? I hope not.
     
    #3 Charlotte9, Feb 25, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2016

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