In need of reassurance...

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by Vix182, May 30, 2016.

  1. Vix182

    Vix182 Member

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    Hi everyone,


    I'm new to this forum, and haven't posted In one before, so please bear with me! Also, apologies if TMI!


    My husband and I are trying to conceive - it's only the first month, but I stupidly got my hopes up and I'm absolutely dreading the arrival of AF!


    I downloaded an ovulation app, and followed everything I was supposed to do. I tracked my cycle for two months, and everything looked positive. I was tracking my CM, and CP, and all signs pointed to conception. My cervix was very soft, almost felt detached, my CM seemed consistent with all the research I'd done. My boobs were very sore, swollen, tender; I've been absolutely exhausted, to the point that I've been sleeping whenever I get the opportunity; I have had a constant headache for a few days, which isn't usual for my PMT.


    Then, suddenly, the symptoms stopped. I have a 30 day cycle, AF due in two days, and my cervix has become firmer and seems to be opening. I did a First Response pregnancy test today, which came up negative. I feel crushed. I've had cramping in the last 24 hours, which I'm now convinced is AF preparing to arrive. I know I'm going to be devastated, because I stupidly got my hopes up.


    Has anybody had anything similar, and still got a BFP? Or should I just assume I'm written off this month?


    Sorry for the melancholy!
     
  2. M1chelle

    M1chelle Well-Known Member

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    Hello,

    Unfortunately our bodies have a habit of making us believe that we're pregnant when we're not. We all want it so bad that we convince ourselves that it's happening. A lot of people don't even get symptoms before they get their BFP but yet we still take note of every little thing that happens! I would say try not to get too caught up with it at this stage. You're so early into your journey that if you end up taking longer than you'd have hoped, you will only make the process so much more stressful. Take it easy, relax and hopefully it'll happen soon.

    That said, you have tested early and so there's still a possibility that you could be pregnant, it might just be too early to test. I never test early as I think I'm just throwing my money away and it just adds to the disappointment when it's negative. Better to wait until AF is late IMO and then you can be fairly sure that the result you get is a true one.
     
  3. Snapples

    Snapples Well-Known Member

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    Hi Vix,

    I'm in the exact same situation as you - my husband and I decided to TTC for the first time this month and even though you know you shouldn't really get your hopes up, you can't help it! I too am due in two days, and from last Thursday until yesterday I had really bad cramping, especially to the right hand side, but now nothing. Dreading going to the toilet each time in case I'm disappointed. I've done two tests (Wednesday and Friday) which obviously were both BFN - it was more the novelty of POAS than anything, and although I was slightly disappointed, I wasn't surprised!

    We'll have to keep each other updated :) it's going to take a lot of willpower not to test tomorrow morning when I nip to Sainsbury's before work!! x
     
  4. Vix182

    Vix182 Member

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    Thanks for the replies, ladies :)

    M1chelle - I know what you mean. I feel like I've been obsessing over every little thing, and my husband and mother-in-law said I have to stop, because I'll upset myself, but it's so hard not to! I suppose I'll just have to wait and see.

    Snapples - how funny that we're literally in the exact same situation! Even down to the day! We'll definitely have to keep each other posted. I get the dread of the toilet - I seem to be going every thirty minutes, and every time I'm absolutely dreading finding something I don't want to see! I've stocked up on pregnancy tests, but am going to hold out now until Wednesday. Can't stand being disappointed again... It sounds funny, but I think another negative test will be worse than if I just come on. I kept staring at it, willing it to change, and knowing it wouldn't.
     
    #4 Vix182, May 30, 2016
    Last edited: May 30, 2016
  5. DarcyHodge

    DarcyHodge Well-Known Member

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    Other than this being in our fifth month I'm in the same boat as you both and I stupidly did a test on Friday and got a bfn, I'm clutching at straws thinking maybe it was a cheapy test or maybe to early, I'm two days late but my cycle has been off one or two days from have my implant removed, so I'm going to test later on in the week if af doesn't show up.
    Keep my fingers crossed for everyone xx
     
  6. Vix182

    Vix182 Member

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    Good luck honey (also, good luck Snapples! Totally forgot in my last post!)

    I'm very much straw clutching right now! Weighing up the positive and negative signs, trying to manipulate things in my head :think:

    It's nice to know that I'm not crazy though, and that other people are as "devoted" as I am... Xx
     
  7. DarcyHodge

    DarcyHodge Well-Known Member

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    Yeah it's good to have other people who are in the same boat and don't always keep saying oh it will happen when it's your time blah blah, people who really understand where you are coming from. Xx
     
  8. Vix182

    Vix182 Member

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    My personal favourite of the - albeit well intentioned - comments that I keep hearing:

    "You need to stop overthinking it, or it won't happen."

    If I could not think about it, I would. But I am. So. Yeah. Lol xx
     
  9. Snapples

    Snapples Well-Known Member

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    Haha I get the staring at it thing too - I was so impatient I ended up taking a test at work and after staring for ages realised that they'd probably start to wonder what I was doing in there so had to go back to my desk :lol:

    Hi DarcyHodge! You're right, it's good to have people who know how it feels. Don't want to tell friends and family we've started TCC, so keep turning to the internet to stop me going crazy!

    Good luck to you both and will keep an eye out Wednesday to see how everyone got on :) x
     
  10. DarcyHodge

    DarcyHodge Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I've told my best friend but she's in a different country so it's hard to find the time to chat. I'm defo not telling my mum she's a bloody midwife so will be coming at me with all sorts of old wife's potions lol ������
     
  11. DarcyHodge

    DarcyHodge Well-Known Member

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    Well that's me out the game this month, hope you two get a better result than me xx
     
  12. Snapples

    Snapples Well-Known Member

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    Aww I'm so sorry to hear that honey :hug: I'll keep my fingers crossed for you for next month! In the past couple of hours I keep thinking af has arrived but when I check there's nothing there. Going to try not to get my hopes up further...

    Oh gosh, a mum as a midwife will come in handy when you get your BPF though, instant reassurance when you need it :lol: x
     
  13. DarcyHodge

    DarcyHodge Well-Known Member

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    I know she will either be a big help or a big interference lol 😂
     
  14. Vix182

    Vix182 Member

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    Oh, Darcy, I'm sorry honey :( How are you feeling?

    I fell off the wagon and did another test this morning. BFN. Was not worth the disappointment xx
     
  15. DarcyHodge

    DarcyHodge Well-Known Member

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    I'm never testing early again it just gets your hopes up for a possible let down, I'm Ok, gutted but ok. Today started a new month of trying so healthy eating and trying to drink loads of water and I'm going to religiously take my vitamins, and I'm thinking of re reading 50 shades to encourage dtd more than a few times in the ovulation period lol ������
     
  16. Vix182

    Vix182 Member

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    Well ladies, another one bites the dust. AF has paid me a most unwelcome visit. Phoned my husband and apologised - he was very zen, as always, and told me I had nothing to be sorry for. Can't help but feel guilty though.

    No more early testing or tracking this month. It hurts too much! :(

    We'd all best take our frisky juice this month!! Xx
     
  17. kaylaford

    kaylaford Well-Known Member

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    I know how you feel :( January was our first month TTC and I was -OVER THE MOON- with excitement. My mom has always bragged her and my aunt have always been so fertile, so I sort of had my hopes up that I would be too.

    This was our 4th month trying (had some health issues) and I just start AF after a few days late, which never happens so OF COURSE I got my hopes up.. again! I hate feeling like something is wrong :(
     
  18. DarcyHodge

    DarcyHodge Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry vix it sucks big time, stay positive �� and kayla that's what happened to me 2days late but for some stupid reason I did a test two days before af was due.
     
  19. Vix182

    Vix182 Member

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    Yeah, my mum and sister both conceived the first time they tried as well. My mum's very proud of that fact, and doesn't seem to realise that her laughing about how easy she had it probably isn't the most tactful thing! Bless her.

    My sister was very supportive though, and said not to judge my fertility by hers - she said most healthy couples take 6-12 months, so she was just lucky. Reassured me a little xx
     
  20. Snapples

    Snapples Well-Known Member

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    Aww so sorry to hear that Vix :( I too caved this morning and tested before work, and BFN. Convinced it's only a matter of time before AF arrives now. It was a two pack but refusing to do the other test for a while - I tend to vary between 28 days (today) and 32 days, so I'm going to leave it until Saturday if AF hasn't arrived.

    Love the idea of Fifty Shades :lol: never read it but may be worth a shot lol I'm going to Vegas in August so if it's a no this month then I'm tempted to just wait until I get back; I don't want to be throwing up and off my food the entire time. Remind me of that in a couple of weeks... Lol

    Hi Kayla - I bet that's so annoying when you're late and get your hopes up. Like Vix says though, they tell you it can take 6 months + so we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves if it takes a while! x
     

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