In Limbo Between Career & TTC!

[DiabeticPanda]

Hi all,

I'm sure this is something that has come up before but I couldn't find a recent thread so thought I'd start this one as I hope I'm not the only one in this position!

I'm 28 and got married a few weeks ago, naturally the conversation with relatives quickly turned to "So ... when's the baby going to be here?" I'm the youngest of 5 and all of my siblings have kids already so feeling the pressure from family to have a baby.

Me & hubby are on the same page, we're not in a rush but when I mentioned that I was looking at doing a degree part time (which is 6 years) he shot back with but we'd want to have a baby or two within the next 6 years ... my Dad also took a dig about me working for another year and then giving him grandkids!

I'm not sooo focused on my career that I don't want to take the time out to start a family but hubby doesn't want to start trying right now. He also doesn't think I should start a degree as it'll be interrupted by having a baby at some point so I feel like my life is a little on hold until we start TTC

Does anyone have any advice? Thanks! x

 

[Trinity]

Do what your heart tells you.
Maybe not degree but some course or Open university is an option? Can take longer but it is flexible

 

[WinterWolf]

I'm pregnant and doing a Masters degree. I plan on taking one semester off while she's a newborn but I'll be back at it in semester 2 next year. Don't put your education on hold, better to get as much done as possible before kids come along! You can study whilst TTC and when you have babies around. Just make sure any uni you pick has an online option in case you decide to have a baby while you're studying

 

[Radleycat]

It's hard isn't it. We've been waiting for a few months as I'm studying on my Paramedic course and once you get pregnant in my job you are taken off the road straight away (safety). At the beginning of the year I started my course and two of my friends were pregnant on it. The uni were brilliant and both did half the course and will come back to it next year. I think if you want to do a degree part time you certainly can, with or without kids. I guess really, you need to work our what you want and speak with your oh about it. It's fine for a man to say how they thought you'd have kids and when by but for a women it's a game changer. Doesn't mean game over, so you can do whatever you want really. Unis are very supportive

 

[Apple2018]

I understand how u feel. I am a psych nurse so if i were to get pregnant it would limit what i could do until maternity leave. I love my job and taking a year off through matty leave would maybe drive me crazy lol. I also worry about not achieving my dream of travelling but just part of me couldn't see myself without a child!

 

[Vintageling]

I've put going to uni on hold I want to do a history degree and go back and do a teaching course aswell and I just can't wait that long start ttc so we agreed we would ttc and then once we were happy and settled as a family I would go to uni and follow what I want to do as there is plenty of time for me to do those courses but not so much time for me to get pregnant and have the family I've always wanted because 6 years right now would have me being 35 by time we even started trying and that just doesnt work for me because we want more then one and there are fertility issues in my family so it works better for me to ttc now and then go to uni after which I'm happy with. You have to do whats right for you hun the pressure your family are putting on you isn't fair and they need to be told to back off and i would sit down with your hubby and talk about it because if he is thinking closer to the end of the 6 years for you to try then you can still start uni get the majority of the course done and then go back after you have had baby to continue the course. My family are putting pressure on my sister because she just got married and she's told them there are no plans for a baby yet, none of them believe her but none of them even think that I'm trying because I'm not married they forget I don't follow convention like they do lol so my sister is hoping we get pregnant soon to take the pressure of her but she is doing it in a nice way because she knows we have been trying for 6 months

 

[Rosie2]

@Apple2018 I also work in an area where being pregnant would have a significant impact on my job, but I think it would just make me actually make time for the other stuff I’ve been putting off! (More desk based side projects which I’ve been meaning to start ‘for fun’ and just haven’t got around to). I decided that I’d enjoy my normal duties while I could, and just see what happens. It’s hard trying to balance everything sometimes, isn’t it?!

 

[Apple2018]

Yes it definitely is! I guess I will be off the floor when I hopefully conceive but i will find it hard not telling people in my first trimester - well apart from my manager of course! Going to start trying next year. I just know deep down if I don't try I will regret it. I know life isn't all about children and if I couldn't get pregnant then so be it! I will focus on my career and travelling instead. But I know I have to try as I am sure as soon as I have a child nothing else will matter.

 

[Rosie2]

@Apple2018 That’s my feeling too. If it doesn’t happen, my career will be my main focus. I would certainly consider adoption, but as a self confessed workaholic I’m sure I would make the most of the opportunity to focus on my career!

 

[Peroni]

Just popping head back in here. The only thing id say is that you honetly don't have full control over how your TTC will go, and as someone who "waited" then found it difficult. (Been 4 years and counting) I'd do anything to go back and have more time...

If a baby is what you ultimately want, that should be a priority above your career.... X

 

[Coconutfox]

It annoys me that as women we have to weigh up these things. I think you do what you want to do... The degree sounds amazing but so does a baby, could you do something similar part time? I know there are options as I have looked into it. Its not impossible no matter what people say.