im upset

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by bbee, Jul 23, 2013.

  1. bbee

    bbee Well-Known Member

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    i am sick of posting about me and my boyfriend and our problems but seriously ugh!!!
    we were back on track and things are good but he still has his HORRIBLE moments.

    he got angry and moody with me because ive put on a few pounds.. IM PREGNANT! he also comments on my boobs as he HATES big boobs and mine have just sprung out of nowhere.. he is also saying that he doesnt want me to put any weight on because he doesnt want me to be fat.
    hes making me feel so down about myself. hes constantly saying 'i want the old you. where people would beep there horns when they drove past' .. this makes me feel like shit. its not my fault i have a bump or putting on a few pounds. ITS HEALTHY DURING PREGNANCY TO PUT ON THE POUNDS!!!
    When he says these comments they actually make me cry. he thinks hes so perfect when he is FAR from it.
    the first thing he does is insult me. hes constantly saying that when the baby is born he is going to pay for me to go to the gym and stuff, and he keeps saying 'Will your boobs go back how they were?' PROBABLY NOT!!!!! i never used to have any boobs, now i have big ones and i actually like them! but when that stupid boy is throwing nasty comments all the time at me it makes me think otherwise. now i look in the mirror and feel like shit and feel im not good enough! its so horrible! i just sit and cry all the time now! hes knocked my confidence so much.

    Ugh im so fed up i actually feel depressed, i feel like i dont even want to be here anymore :'(

    x x x
     
    #1 bbee, Jul 23, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2013
  2. Gsygal

    Gsygal Well-Known Member

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    Maybe you should tell him, you want him to change, for the better ;)
    x
     
  3. Holly1991

    Holly1991 Well-Known Member

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    Whattt?! You have to put weight on for pregnancy. What's he on?!
    If you don't put weight on your baby will get very unwell as will you.
    He's being ridiculous!!
    X
     
  4. nikki_isme

    nikki_isme Well-Known Member

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    And first prize for d*ckhead of the year goes to…. him!

    I haven’t read your other posts, but from what you are saying this sounds like emotional abuse – I went through the same with my ex. He would say awful things to knock me down and belittle me, anything to keep me in my place. To the outside world he would play the perfect boyfriend, but inside the home he was manipulative and cruel. Then he would turn around and ‘apologise’, while maintaining that he wouldn’t of said/did whatever it was if I hadn’t of done XYZ.

    I came away from my ex with serious body and self-image problems due to him, please don’t let this man do the same! He should be embracing your new curves, not rejecting them – they are natural!

    These things he is saying to you are not normal at all! You and your baby deserve so much better. Someone that treats you like this does not love or respect you.
     
  5. LauraMummyToBe

    LauraMummyToBe Well-Known Member

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    I only had to read the first few lines of this... Sweetie GET RID OF HIM! kick him to the curb, the guy is scum. You and your baby deserve so much more than that! :( xxx
     
  6. twinkle90

    twinkle90 Well-Known Member

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    Bbee..seriously dont let that idiot get you down!! Your body is changing to keep your baby healthy and keep you well too. If he cant understand that then what else wont he understand. Theres no respect for you or your baby for that matter. You dont need the stress sweetie! I cant beleive his disrespecting the most natural and beautiful thing that can happen to a woman. And DO NOT let him make you feel crap. Your beautiful as you are hun xxx
     
  7. Geekachublog

    Geekachublog Well-Known Member

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    I've skimmed your posts whenever you've said you're having trouble with him in the past, I was genuinely made up for you when you said you were happy and giving it a go but this bloke sounds like such a prick, I'm sorry to be so blunt but he sounds like an awful human being.
    I think you need to bin him off and be with someone that loves you for you and not what you "used to look like".

    Saying things about your pregnant body is the absolute WORST.

    I take my husband for granted sometimes but my husband recently told me that he finds me more and more attractive each day because I'm carrying his child and what could be more beautiful than that? THAT'S the kind of corny shit you want your partner to be saying, it might be a little bit Blergh, but it makes me feel wonderful and PROUD of my body. If your boyfriend can't see that then he's really not worth it. You need to take control and tell him to buck the fuck up or get the fuck out... For good.


    That said, that's just me, and I'm a bit of a bitch, but I've been taken for granted and made to feel small in the past and would rather be on my own than with someone that made me feel worthless.

    I hope whatever happens that you make a good life for yourself and your baby and that you make yourself happy.
     
  8. glowing

    glowing Well-Known Member

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    You need to sit him down and tell how these comments are making you feel. You haven't changed the person you are inside, he sounds a bit shallow to be honest or is this him making excuses he can look elsewhere for someone else. As if it justifies what he is doing. A gym membership straight after the birth is not helpful and the best way to drop the weight is to try and breast feed, it will lso make your bump disappear faster. Don't be tempted to stay with him for the sake of the baby as the additional stress he is causing you now is not healthy and when lo is born it will still pick up any arguements etc.
     
  9. bbee

    bbee Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for the advice ladies :)
    I know it sounds ridiculous but I still love him :( he can be so lovely but then he can be so mean :(
    I just don't know what to say to him anymore, he knows he upsets me because I'm in hysterics crying when he says these things to me :( I don't know what to say, what can I say?xxx
     
  10. twinkle90

    twinkle90 Well-Known Member

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    If he knows hes upsetting you, then ask him why hes saying these things? Its so differcult when your madly in love with a person. Tell him how its making you feel. Xxx
     
  11. mrz85

    mrz85 Well-Known Member

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    what the hell !! show him the door !
     
  12. LauraMummyToBe

    LauraMummyToBe Well-Known Member

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    Babe, I've been in the same situation as you are in now when I was your age and I'm sure many women on here have been in the same place too. I was 16 and I stuck with a guy that treated me like SH*T for 4 years... No matter what he did he was always perfect to me, no matter what anyone told me about him... i'd defend him to the bitter end. But I promise you in your own time, you're gonna wake up one day and realise he is no good for you and you deserve better. I understand what you're going through and personally I just think you're scared of being alone, I think you've gotten so used to what he's doing to you that you think it's right so to speak and what he's saying to you is true. Well y'know what? It's not right, and it's not true. You're young, educated, beautiful and you're having a baby the best thing anyone could ask for. You need to realise that this scum bag isn't worth a second thought and you need to walk away with your baby with your chin held as high as you can hold it. You deserve better and no matter how much you may think "I can't do better", "nobody will want me after I've had the baby" believe me... You'll find someone better, someone who loves you for who you are and someone who doesn't treat you and your unborn baby like dirt! Get that chin up, and you march on over to him and you tell him that he's not worth JACK and he's gotta go cos you're worth 10 of him! :D xxx
     
  13. Geekachublog

    Geekachublog Well-Known Member

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    You probably are madly in love with him, but he can't feel the same if he would make you cry.

    Ask he why the hell he thinks he can't talk to you like that? (Probably in a nicer way than I'd put it!), tell him that you're unhappy and you feel like your relationship is going around in circles and that when you're good together it's amazing but when he gets like that that it upsets and hurts you and you don't like it. See how he responds.
    A man that loved you would never disrespect you like this, you're carrying his child for crying out loud!
     
  14. Ella1979

    Ella1979 Well-Known Member

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    bbee - you really need someone who is supportive and takes care of you. You might really love him, but he would never say those kind of things if he really loved you too. It must be difficult to try to break away from him and that relationship, but if it was me that would be what I'd be doing.

    Like Geekachublog said about her husband, mine says the same - he keeps telling me how amazing and more beautiful I look as I'm getting bigger. I actually disagree! But the fact he says it shows me how much he loves me - you need this too and you deserve it, you don't deserve what your partner is saying about you. It really sounds like he's still reacting to the shock of you being pregnant.

    Please put yourself and your baby first. It must be really tough and I haven't been through this kind of thing so can't say I know what you're going through, but seriously you do not have to put up with that kind of s**t from anyone, least of all from someone who is supposed to care about you xxx
     
  15. cam

    cam Well-Known Member

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    Oh bbee I really feel for you, sorry but this guy is a real pig and is bullying you, my sister was in a relationship like this and it upset me so much to see what he did to her, it took a long time for her to break away from him and took longer for her to get her confidence back. I cant tell you what to do its totally your choice if your staying you need to talk to him and he needs to change its not fair on you or the baby.
    Please dont listen to what hes saying your beautiful and your growing your beautiful baby xx
     
  16. C0606

    C0606 Well-Known Member

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    Ughhh, as much as I would hate anyone saying anything bad about my partner regardless of what he had done, sorry but what a w****r.
    I'm sure a large part of why he is acting like this is probably partly down to his age and immaturity, but seriously! He needs to grow up. Are you at all close to his family? Maybe you should mention the sort of comments he is coming out with his to his mother or something and ask for her kindly (or not) to explain to him what happens in pregnancy.
    If he continues like this, as much as I do hate to say it, I think you're better off out of it with someone who appreciates you for you.
     
  17. C0606

    C0606 Well-Known Member

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    I meant to add that you are dealing beyond admirably about the situation even despite your age, so his immaturity is absolutely no excuse!
     
  18. mrssmith2011

    mrssmith2011 Well-Known Member

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    Your boyfriend needs to sort himself out. He is acting like an immature child. Surely your baby being healthy and happy should be more important to him that any weight you are putting on (your pregnant to are meant to gain weight) and for his other comment well I would have slapped my husband if he had said that to me. I agree with other posts as much as it pains me to say it but he either needs to sort himself out or you are better off without him xxxx
     

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