I'm starting to get panic attacks again.

[zebrastripes]

I'm going back to school more or less full time after christmas,four days a week.I'm getting wednesday off cause all i really have is study and games,and I'll be able to go in later some days and get out a bit earlier others.Not so bad:usually I get home about 5 as it takes me an hour on the bus home,so I can make it a good deal earlier most days.

The thing is,I'm really worried about going back.I've fallen behind,and it's going to be so hard to catch up etc.I'm lucky in that I'm only doing 3 A levels instead of 4,but it's still a lot of work.Also,I've been going in a couple of hours a week,and some teachers and pupils have been a bit...funny..with me,which i suppose is understandable but doesn't make it any easier.

When I was about 13 I went through a stage where I suffered from panic attacks.It wasn't over anything particular:it was just a mixture of teenage hormones and me being a natural worrier.I went to my GP and he showed me some coping techniques and after a while they passed and haven't recurred since-until this last few weeks,where they've started up again.This is really annoying me,as I feel like I have this huge cloud of worry hanging over me,and it's going to spoil christmas for me.No sooner do i think "yay christmas" than I think "yes and after christmas SCHOOL!"and off I go panicking again.

I'm not a neurotic person normally and this is pretty unlike me,and I want to enjoy Willow's first christmas..so...this is half a rant,and half asking for any advice? * moan,moan,moan,etc*

 

[Squiglet]

I think the panicking is quite normal... You've not been at school for a long time and well now you're going back but you're a mum now so you have responsibilities... also if people have been "funny" with you, its going to make you apprehensive... naturally so..

When I went back to college after having Tia ... I was apprehensive too... and I was still breast feeding and Tia was tiny... but once I got past that first day, I felt much better...

True there were people who were funny with me... (one particularly religious bloke who just made my life hell, but I got him sorted)... but on the whole what I realised was that my standard of work was far superior than other's who didn't have kids, because I had a reason to be going back to school.. Tia.. and there was no better motivator...

When others went off drinking etc... I'd be studying.. when others were too "ill" to go to college, I'd go in anyway because i needed someone to take care of Tia and college was easier to deal with ill...

And I understood responsibility...

You'll do fine.. Forget about it now.. just enjoy xmas... just think of how much your LO will look up to you when you have your qualifications and are doing well for yourself...

 

[trixipaws]

i didnt kno what to say and was just replying to give u some hugs, but i think squiglet's said it all!
big up to u for going at all- i found a levels hard enough at the time and i find motherhood hard enough now- i cant imagine doing both! well done sweety

 

[mummykay]

who will Willow be with whilst ur back at school?

im sure ul be allowed to have half days etc to see her? like Squiglet says, the first days are the worst - get that out the way and ur sorted!