Im pregnant not fat!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by DiddlePlumbs, Jun 28, 2013.

  1. DiddlePlumbs

    DiddlePlumbs Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, just need a bloody rant. My uncle and his partner are up from Cornwall today on their way to Lincoln for a holiday. I've not seen them since I was about 8 weeks pregnant so the first thing he said when I sat down was "Wow, look how fat you are!" And I was just like, "thanks.." Obviously, being pregnant you learn to accept these comments from family and friends you haven't seen in a while.

    Later on he turns to me again and says "I just can't get over how big you've gotten!" to which I turned round and said "Well, it's probably cause I've never really been a 'big' girl" to which he goes "Mmm... well.." and I was just like WTF?! Even my sister mentioned it the second we left. I can't believe he said that to me.

    The first thing I thought about when I found out I got pregnant was "holy shit, how am I gunna cope with the weight gain" because I suffered from an eating disorder for just over 6 years to which my Uncle is FULLY aware of and he suffers from one as well and has done all his life!!

    So I really can't believe he said that to me! I am in a good place now and can say to myself that I never was fat, even at my heaviest which was just over 11 stone (at 5ft 7" tall) actually, I'll attach a photo of me at my biggest, which was in 2010 aged 19. (Getting ready for a night out, excuse the dopey pose!)

    And I just can't get over the fact he called me fat!?!

    And the worse thing is, even though it's completely absurd, for the rest of the evening I've felt nothing but contempt for food and I felt SO guilty eating a small roll for supper (chicken, lettuce and mayo) and I HATE it. I never wanted to feel this way again but it's so hard to block out the voices that tell me I shouldn't be eating.

    Now more than ever I have to strong for bumpy and now all these old feelings have come flooding back. I don't know what to do. I'm scared that this is going to affect me. I'm already feeling really insecure about my body.

    Sorry, just needed to rant and get it out of my system :'(
     

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  2. MrsHop

    MrsHop Well-Known Member

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    Wow, tbh your uncle knowing about your previous troubles with food comes across as very irresponsible to speak about your weight like that.

    I think you should be so proud of yourself, you are growing a tiny person and the only way that little person is going to grow to their full potential is when you are looking after yourself. Which you obviously are! I can't pretend to understand, I've never had a problem with food, but I have found myself telling myself "You're not fat, you're pregnant!" I think when your body is changing rapidly and you have no control over it, it can be a little scary!

    And as for the photo, if that's the biggest you've ever been I am jealous! You are beautiful and a sacred vessel carrying a beautiful child :) xx
     
  3. DiddlePlumbs

    DiddlePlumbs Well-Known Member

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    Thank you. I know I'm not fat in the photo but holy crap, if you'd of seen me at the time, I cried for days when my friends put them up on Face book!
     
  4. Pumpkin9

    Pumpkin9 Well-Known Member

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    You were def not fat then and your just a healthy pregnant woman now.

    It's hard to block out what people say to you, but you are absolutely doing the right thing for you and your baby.

    I'd imagine its his insecurities being projected onto you. Try not to worry x
     
  5. Kelly450

    Kelly450 Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun! Sorry to hear about your suffering. That was extremely insensitive for your uncle to say that. Maybe he didn't mean it in a bad way but certainly should think more before he speaks.

    I think you should look at it this way (even if not what he meant)... he is telling you that you look healthy! Think of yourself as a beautiful healthy lady who is growing a beautiful healthy baby and you are entitled to feed that little baby whatever they fancy!

    Think of the amazing start to life your little one will get with their healthy intake from you, their mummy! And think of your uncle as a silly uncle who doesnt think before he speaks.

    You look lovely in that photo from 2010 hun. X

    Sent from my GT-I9300
     
  6. LD1978

    LD1978 Well-Known Member

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    Aww your so not fat!! Just tell him you may be fat (your not but play along) but he's ugly and at least you can lose weight but there's sod all he can do! ;)
     
  7. Lauren84

    Lauren84 Well-Known Member

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    That's really insensitive and stupid of your uncle to say that to u, sorry but what an idiot!

    You're clearly not fat, you look great In that pic. You should be proud and life is way to short to think like that. Don't let his words get to you. You're going to be a mummy :) xxx
     
  8. CountryGirl

    CountryGirl Well-Known Member

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    All I can say is... unfortunately people don't think before they speak - family and friends!

    I know what it's like to have an issue with food/your body as I have struggled with it all my life so far. I am very self conscious and hubby (stupidly) told me that a couple of people had told him how they notice my weight fluctuate and I cried for ages.

    So try and keep the voices out of your heard hun. You're pregnant and beautiful and people just don't use their brains. Think about the bump. Chin up xx
     
  9. DiddlePlumbs

    DiddlePlumbs Well-Known Member

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    I'm really sorry to hear that! Men are so silly at times! You look stunning in your dp! If you ever need someone to talk to, you know I'm here :)
     
  10. CountryGirl

    CountryGirl Well-Known Member

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    Thanks hun - I'll take you up on that offer! I've already put weight on so have a fat belly rather than a bump belly, am are getting annoyed at myself. Can you diet when you're pregnant?

    Hope you're feeling better now! x
     
  11. Allinaday

    Allinaday Well-Known Member

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    Just eat as healthy as you can stay active. The pregnancy will make you gain weight because you HAVE to gain weight for you baby! Just make sure to make sure it's healthy weight, stay active even if it's just walking. You'll bounce back better after the pregnancy. And no you don't look fat in your photo, you look healthy!
     
  12. DiddlePlumbs

    DiddlePlumbs Well-Known Member

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    ^^WSS. I think so long as you eat healthy you and exercise regularly you should be fine :) You just gotta tell yourself you've got a little bubba in there and that you're not fat, you're pregnant. It takes a while, but you start to relax a bit! I'm feeling a bit better, but still in quite a foul mood and still feeling really self concious! Nearly had a panic attack when me and OH went to town this afternoon :( But bumpy has been wriggling about all evening and that helps me remember that she is the one changing my body and it needs to change for her.

    I wish we were like sea horses and the men carried the babies :(
     
  13. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

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    Don't ever diet during pregnancy just eat small amounts often and try and be active swimming and walking are good and try having healthy foods where you can but certaintly don't deny yourself anything it's honestly the one time ilu can indugle guilt free. How awful of uncle to be so insensitive. Remember weight gain is part of pregnancy and bumps come in all shapes and sizes it's normal also think about it too afterwards if you do breast feed then that actually helps you to regain your shape too be careful you must stay well for little one xx
     

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