Im now panicing, stressed and freaking out!

[flaxen]

Im freaking out now. Havent been able to settle today, very sore, doctors said yesterday that they werent going to bother giving me steroids so they didnt, then at tea time the midwife rang to say they had changed thrie minds as baby is small so I was going to have to have a double dose this morning- and jesus christ it stings like hell.

I cant get comfy, feel very very sick, cant rest as my brain is just going round and round and wont switch off, tried to eat some toast as am nil by mouth from 10pm onwards but physically couldnt so gave it to the dog = 1 very happy little dog and now that my fiance has gone to work panic is setting in and Im struggling to control it. My midwife said she was going to ring the hospital and just reiterate the fact that Im terrified and need extra reassurance.

I have rechecked my bag and slightly adjusted it, I have rechecked babys bag and sterilised her bottles ( was told had to pre sterilise them at home and put them together using the tongs that came in my kit without touching inside of bottle or teat ) and also for those that are interested the short wide minnie mouse/ disney bottles from poundland/ poundworld fit in the tommee tippee electric steam steriliser as didnt want to take expensive bottles in case they get lost or broken and are a bargain at £1 each and are suitable for newborn.

Im contemplating having a luke warm bath and putting some bedtime bath wash in it to see if that might help me chill and get a bit of sleep but am also worried it might make my itching worse, as it will be worse tomorrow as the diamorphine they are giving me will make it worse anyway so need to remember to take my special creams and steroid creams with me.

I dont know what else to try and chill or is it just a no hoper.

 

[BevG]

have your bath hun and just try to relax, maybe without the bubbles n just nice warm water. find a good book or movie if u can to take your mind off things and just think positive. your baby will be here soon and you will be holding her and nothing else will matter. it will all be worth it and you will be able to get back to your usual self and feel much better soon. were all thinking of you and hoping everything goes smoothly xxxxxx

 

[Olive]

Ah hun Is OH there to give you some support?x

 

[mummy2b19]

Defo agree with Bev Hun try and relax with a film or something. Get something you can nibble on maybe like pop corn so its not over facing FX this time tomorrow you will be holding your baby. Xxx

 

[flaxen]

No, he has to work tonight but they are letting him leave at 5am ( 1hr earlier than normal ) so he can get home and showered and changed and take a clean uniform with him as we have to leave the house no later than 6.45am.
He also has to work tomorrow night unless it all goes tits up and my section isnt til tea time ( there is only 2 routines booked in tomorrow ) and as he is having skin to skin with her he will need a wash before going to work and will go to work straight from the hospital.

 

[mustard]

I hope your all tucked up in bed now and getting some sleep, really good luck for tomorrow.

 

[l_maclean]

hope you manage to get some rest. xxx

 

[flaxen]

Im still wide awake and am now getting all the bad worries about something going wrong and I dont make it and end up coming home in a wooden box.
Ive turned the flood light on ( shines from the house wall onto the horses field ) and sneaked outside in my pj's coat and wellies and been to see my 2 horses in the field ( not been allowed out to see them foe weeks, only seen them from the bedroom window ) called them and they came cantering up, gave them loads of packets of polos and hugs and told them I love them. I have sent my best friend a message and written her a letter gifting my boys to her incase I dont make it on the proviso that my pride and joy ( spotty one ) has a home for the rest of his life and is never to be sold and if she ever cant keep him anymore than he is to be brought back to the farm and quietly put to sleep and buried next to his mum. I have also written a copy to my fiance and sealed it and put it in the safe with do not open on it unless I die.

 

[Rachel1509]

flaxen, feeling scared will be completely normal! But you're going to be perfectly fine. You'll soon have your beautiful baby in your arms and will wonder what all the fuss and worry was about!

I can't wait to see photos and here how it goes!

 

[JoJo79]

Sending you huge

Its normal to feel this way, i could never see myself going into hospital and coming out the other side with a healthy baby and me being ok.

I now have 2 beautiful girls and onto number 3!

Easy for us to say try and relax but please do try, we are all here for you and waiting for the good news that you've had your beautiful baby xxxxx

 

[l_maclean]

xxx

 

[Princess81]

You will be fine Hun, just focus on the good instead. You will be holding your beautiful baby girl soon and it's the most special time of your life. Enjoy it xxx