Im freaking out now. Havent been able to settle today, very sore, doctors said yesterday that they werent going to bother giving me steroids so they didnt, then at tea time the midwife rang to say they had changed thrie minds as baby is small so I was going to have to have a double dose this morning- and jesus christ it stings like hell. I cant get comfy, feel very very sick, cant rest as my brain is just going round and round and wont switch off, tried to eat some toast as am nil by mouth from 10pm onwards but physically couldnt so gave it to the dog = 1 very happy little dog and now that my fiance has gone to work panic is setting in and Im struggling to control it. My midwife said she was going to ring the hospital and just reiterate the fact that Im terrified and need extra reassurance. I have rechecked my bag and slightly adjusted it, I have rechecked babys bag and sterilised her bottles ( was told had to pre sterilise them at home and put them together using the tongs that came in my kit without touching inside of bottle or teat ) and also for those that are interested the short wide minnie mouse/ disney bottles from poundland/ poundworld fit in the tommee tippee electric steam steriliser as didnt want to take expensive bottles in case they get lost or broken and are a bargain at £1 each and are suitable for newborn. Im contemplating having a luke warm bath and putting some bedtime bath wash in it to see if that might help me chill and get a bit of sleep but am also worried it might make my itching worse, as it will be worse tomorrow as the diamorphine they are giving me will make it worse anyway so need to remember to take my special creams and steroid creams with me. I dont know what else to try and chill or is it just a no hoper.