im in bits

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by mum2ollie, Nov 13, 2007.

  1. mum2ollie

    mum2ollie Well-Known Member

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    Im in BITS !!!!

    My oh soon to be husband in august 16th 2008. is no longer.

    Last nite we had a talk well sort of a row too. i had looked at his phone ( i know it was wrong but i needed to know) there was txt messages from another woman on there

    1 said "hey there huni i wish i was with you, but ur with ur gf will have to wait till i get u on ur own"

    2 said " im running a nice big bubble bath with candles do u want to join me "

    so i confronted him he didnt like it. we talked n i said we dont communicate very well at all he no longer says i love you or gives me a kiss or a cuddle.

    i asked if we could work it out n both change 4 the better n he said no. he doesnt want this relastionship no more.

    the worst of it is i moved 238 miles away from home to be with him i rang me mum who is ovedue her baby n told her n she said i was welcome bk home.

    we have been together 2 yrs 3 month n some days n i love him to bits its going to take me ages to get over him now also ollies going to b heart broken

    now wht i need to ask u ladies is this.

    hes asked me to stay here with him cus i have a roof over me head i have a job n i have childcare 4 ollie but the thing is we are still sharing the same bed :cry:

    like me mum said i could leave it all there as its all stuff i can buy again. but immm soooo in bits i just needed to tell u guys :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
     
  2. mrs_tommo22

    mrs_tommo22 Well-Known Member

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    Aj im so sorry babes, men are suxh fucking shits and do not realise when they have a relationship thats worth sticking at.

    I have been cheated on and tried to make it work and it failed, move on sweetheart - dont stay there and let him drag your pride through the mud.You are worth more then that! All women are worth more then that.

    If your mum says come back home then why not? or is it possible for you to get a home and stay in the same area as you have a job there and obviously you have stuff and have made yours and olles life there.

    I dont kno what else to say apart from big hugs and im truly sorry.

    And kick his arse on the sofa
     
  3. BabyLove

    BabyLove Well-Known Member

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    Aww Im So Sorry Hun :hug: :hug: :hug:

    But You Cant Even Begin To Heal Or Move On Whilst Your Still Living Together. Its Going To Be Hard But Time Really Does Heal In The End & Your Going To Be Just Fine. Make The Move :) xx :hug:
     
  4. Krystal

    Krystal Well-Known Member

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    i'm so sorry hun :hug: :hug: what a wanker...

    you totally need to take some control back and i think doing just that will help you feel better, stop sleeping in the same bed as him. he's f'cking with your mind, the only way you can move on is to be away from him. He sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too.

    don't let him, move back to be with your family :hug: :hug:
     
  5. Penstraze

    Penstraze Well-Known Member

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    You cant stay there in the same house with him it will be too painful especially with him seeing other women, I had to do it for a month with my ex but it was just too difficult and I moved out after a week and we had seperate rooms! Its hard to move on and rebuild your life but you can do it and in time you will be glad this happened (obviously impossible to believe now) and will find someone who actually deserves you!

    My mum and dad split a few weeks before their 25th aniversary, there was another woman involved and my mum was devestated and on suicide watch but she got over it gradually and has been with her new man over a year now and is happier then ive ever seen her! If she can do it so can you! :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  6. emma28

    emma28 Well-Known Member

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    What a tosser :shock: :twisted:

    Go.

    And I'm sure in time Ollie wont even notice. It's better than staying and for him t0 grow up thinkin its ok to be like that.

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  7. jayla's mummy

    jayla's mummy Well-Known Member

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    im really sorry hun. some men are just really big prick.
    xnatx
     
  8. Gem & Leland

    Gem & Leland Well-Known Member

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    kick him on to the sofa ! his made his bed make him lie in it
     
  9. hotluck

    hotluck Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it. Why should he have the other woman and you?

    Go home and start again. Sounds like you've got a nice mum there who cares about you.
     
  10. HappyAlice

    HappyAlice Well-Known Member

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    That's awful :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    I'd move back to my mums if i were you, take what you can, start a new life, it is scary but it probably won't take long to sort a new life out - and when you have u will be soooo glad u r not sharing his bed anymore
     
  11. HappyAlice

    HappyAlice Well-Known Member

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    PS it new years eve in 47 days - Id want to see the new year in with a fresh hopeful start with family that love me, not some arsehole hundreds of miles from home :hug:
     
  12. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

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    what a twat :x

    im so sorry hun :hug:

    i dont think u should stay there with him tho it will be too painful if thers no chance of reconcilliation i think u should go to ur mums where u will be treated well :hug:
     
  13. sophie-jordan

    sophie-jordan Well-Known Member

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    im so sorry hun :hug:
    i would make the move, he doesnt deserve to have you in the same house as him :hug:
     
  14. Redshoes

    Redshoes Well-Known Member

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    I think you should go be with people who love you and won;t hurt you, I think you need to get away from him, so you have space and time to think, Ollie will be better if you get what you need, and what helps you get through this difficult time.

    I'm so sorry you're in bits mum2ollie :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
    I also think you do need to talk to him about the texts, yes they are very much out of order, but you need the full story too :hug:
     
  15. Squiglet

    Squiglet Well-Known Member

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    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: Go home hun.... Just go home... Your mum is right..everything can be replaced...

    I did this both times one of my long term relationships broke down. It gave me time to recuperate, build my store of energy. The first time I left was due to domestic violence and I left with nothing but a small holdall of clothes.. everything else was abandoned.

    You can't share the same bed as him... that is wrong. He has made it clear that he doesn't love you and doesn't want to work at the relationship... seems to me that he is trying to have his cake and eat it... after all he probably knows that the relationship with this other woman isn't serious and won't work, and he wants to make sure that when it all falls apart he can come back and you will still be sleeping in his bed... and he can "make up" with you...

    Sounds slimy to me..

    I think if you leave that will give him a definite message that he wanted it over, so it's over, and that it's his fault.

    I know your LO will be heartbroken... There is nothing I can say to make that better... I have my own little heart broken one, and it's probably the hardest thing you will have to do... but know that you are not responsible for that heart break.

    Your OH didn't need to cheat... he could have mentioned the problems you were having in your relationship before and you could have worked at it, like grown ups do.... but he chose to get his kicks elsewhere and thus destroyed the relationship and broke both yours and your LO's heart.

    He will now have to work very hard to win those hearts back if he ever wants to... and trust me, my daughter is no worse off for not having her "father" around. She is bright, cleaver, kind, empathetic, funny... everything I could desire in a daughter, and her father had nothing to do with that....

    You will do well by your son, just believe in yourself, that you have done the right thing and that you deserve better than to be treated as second best... :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  16. Tillytots

    Tillytots Well-Known Member

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    So sorry you're goint through this babes :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: Im in a similar situation myself at the moment :cry:

    xxx
     

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