im 13 an pregnant

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by kayli, Jul 15, 2005.

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  1. kayli

    kayli Well-Known Member

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    im only 13 an i dnt no how 2 tell ma mum.
    im 5 mnths gone an im not showin at all. is the baby too small? or is it just me. i can feel it kick an evrythin its just so amazin
     
  2. Guest

    hi ya i am slightly older (17) i didnt tell anyone i was pregnant till i was about 5 1/2 months and that was just becouse i was puttin on a lil bit of weight, but now i feel the size of a massive balloon so dont worry about the size of the baby i was exactly the same
    how will your family react? pm me if you wanna tlk
    sarah and bubba
     
  3. NIKKIT

    NIKKIT New Member

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    Hi Kayli-First of all I wish I could hug you because it must be very scary to be pregnant at 13, but you have to get to a Dr. asap. You are too far along for an abortion, if that was even a consideration. There is a baby and it's going to come out in 9 months whether you tell anyone or not. The choice you have to make now is if you want it to be healthy or not. I work in healthcare and I can tell you that if you go to PlannedParenthood you can get free info at least and maybe a checkup for your unborn child. They will protect your right to privacy until you are ready to divulge this info to your parents. However, I strongly suggest you talk to an adult you trust, mom, dad, aunt, teacher, counselor, someone you trust. You need support and if you aren't close to your parents or are afraid of a violent outcome you can always get a mediator, or another adult that you trust to be with you while you tell your parents. Kayli, there will probably be strong emotion when you tell them at first, with you being so young, but they could also be the support that you are going to so very badly need during the next few months. After you have the baby, you have many options including adoption if you decide that is right for you.
     
  4. kayli

    kayli Well-Known Member

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    thanx

    i just cant tell em coz then thayd stop me seein leo an thats all wats keepin me goin
    an anyways i cant just not c im coz i only liv down tha hall so wed av 2 move agen

    u no that Planned Parenthood thingy then how dus it work coz if u av 2 get an apointment wiv a local dr then i cant coz ma mums m8 is our dr an she wud tell evry1

    thanx anyways
    kayli + baby
     
  5. kayli

    kayli Well-Known Member

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    how can i tell a cousilor or a teacher i trust if im neva im skwl
    i am not goin 2 skwl eva coz evry1 will notice coz even if im not showin
    then theyl fink m actin weird or sumink and send me 2 counsilin

    yesterday me an the gang frm our flats went round th town and i av bin keepin off the drink an fags 4 baby but i cudnt coz then the wud suspect sumink
    so i got totaly pissed an smoked quite a bit(soz baby!) but i feel terrible
    now
    ma babys gonna die, i just no it
    i cant do anyfink rite
    me
     
  6. mum16

    mum16 Active Member

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    kayli dow fink lyk dat...evryfin wil b alrite
    i used 2 smoke durin my 1st pregnancy til i found out n then i stopped...its neva 2 l8 2 quit smokin
    n as 4 d drinkin i was always pised aswel til i found out i was pregnant den i didnt tounch anuva drink....n my son was fine wen e was born..nufin rong with him den n nufin rong wiv him now
    its not 2 l8 2 stop it do jst giv it ago chik n ya baby ant guna die it wil al b alrite trust me
    jo n baby numba 2 xx
     
  7. playmate

    playmate Well-Known Member

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    hi kayli, you must be going through absolute hell at the moment.
    have you told your boyfriend that you are pregnant? if not i think it would be a good idea and i know you think now that your mum and dad would go mad at you and stop you from seeing him but you could be very wrong. i thought that about my parents and i dint tell them they found out because i left the pregnancy test in the bathroom and my mum went in right after me. i know its not easy for me to say it because i have been with my partner for 4 years even though i am 16 4 years is a long time for a relation ship and my partner is 21! my mum is very respectable about my choice of keeping the baby and has helped me so much she found out the day i did at like 4 weeks! i dont know how in gods name you have gone 5 months withought letting people know. it helped me so much knowing that my mum knew maybee you should try it hun no matter what of the outcome, at the end of the day i know it sounds harsh but you need to put that baby of yours first now. it is your responsibility and if telling your mum insists on you moving again then so be it. your mum is still your mum and she is doin what is right for you. therefore you should do whats right for your baby. besides smoking and drinking isnt everything hun i smoked until about 2 months into my pregnancy and then when the morning sickness kicked in it made me heave! so i quit and it was great, i really hope your not smoking to fit in with your friends because your worth more than that and your friends should respect you for who you are and not what you do. drinking i still do it now, all the way through ive drank i was a bit careful in the first 3 months but now i have continued i dont mean an every night bottle of wine i mean at a party or wotever. i know its probably really weird for you having to give up what your used to it was for me but remember that you have a responsibility now
    i hope ive helped you and not gone on too much its probably motherhood kicking into me.
    just take care and do the right thing for the both of you. only you can decide that.
     
  8. boo boo

    boo boo Well-Known Member

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    Wow this must be extremly hard for u, i admire u, u are goin thro a lot. I felt scared about tellin my mum and im 19, in the end i didnt need to tell her she guessed, which was a hugh relief to me.

    I know it is easier sed than done but u shud ell ur mum asap, she deserves to know, and she can be a great help after she gets over the shock of it all, and hey wots the worse she can do to u. Soutt at u abit etc etc. She may actually appreciate it more if u tell her now, rather than waiting even longer.

    Have u told ne one about it at all, because if u havent it may be a good idea to tell a friend, ne one, just to tak about it.

    At the beginin ur mother may be irational, and stop u frm seeing leo(i presume he is the father of the bay, sorry u mite have sed but i forgot), but she will come around, give her time. Jus grin and bear and break the news.

    Good luck hun, i wish u all the best, and let us know how it goes.

    bec x x
     
  9. ~*Gemma*~

    ~*Gemma*~ Active Member

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    iya Kali ,
    im gemma im 17 and only told ma mam i was pregers when i started geting upset because they were complications wid my scans .She got angry at first ,but it was only because she wanted better for me .Ppl always think there parents are gunna go crazy sum times they dnt .Just try n tell ya mam .It helps alot of the time it cuses stress 4 u and ur baby (belive me i know)
    pm if u wanna chat .take care hun
    gemma x
     
  10. kayli

    kayli Well-Known Member

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    hiya evry1
    i avnt tld ma mum but i am gonna try 2 tell ma m8
    bex. wish me luck lol!!
    baby must be masive by now but it stil dunt show
    bec: leo is da babys dad an e is so fit! i cant lose im bi tellin him.
    how did u get a scan wivout ur mums permision coz on d web it sez u need ur parentz pemision
    ill try 2 stop smokin + drinkin 4 baby but i cant promis anyfin.
    kayli
     
  11. Guest

    You dont need your parents permission. Anything you tell your doctor or hospital in confidential and they will only contact family if you ask them to. Have you been to the docs to have the pregnancy confirmed? Are you registered with a midwife?
     
  12. melanieyeah

    melanieyeah Well-Known Member

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    if you care enough about having a healthy baby rather than a great social life then you really ought to quit drinking and smoking now. My friends baby was born blind because she drank through her pregnancy, and although it may not be linked its something to seriously consider. ther are people out there who desperatly want children and are willing to do anything to have a healthy baby, which means sacrificing all luxuries which can cause harm, like drinking and smoking, and you say you cant promise anything. i think if you cared enough you would stop, and think of your baby. I would seriously consider adoption for your child, you cant drink and take care of a baby. please take in what ive said, and at least try and cut down,i wish you all the best.
     
  13. Missy

    Missy Well-Known Member

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    Sorry for what im about to say i feel i should share my opinion.
    Ive read two fo your threads but i personally think you are really immature and dont really understand the concept of contraception or having a baby.
    Loosing your virginity at the age of 12? yes that was your choice but i find that hard to respect.
    Also never using a condom? Have you never heard of STI's or STD's?
    You really need to be careful and being with loads of boys? You need to show yourself a bit more respect !
    What i just wanted to say really is that your going to have a baby yeah your gonna be a mum do you know how much responsibility that is? If your not able to make simple decisions using commen sense then how are you going to be able to raise a child?
    I respect you for deciding to keep the baby and im not saying your going to be a bad mum.
    Your only 13 and you smoke and drink? your pregnant do you not have the slightest idea what damage you could be doing to your baby?
    dont take it for advantage that youve made it this far through out your pregnancy, think about the people that stuck by every guideline to ensur their babys safety..and yet they go through the pain and hurt of miscarriages and theres people that are risking their own childs life for no apparant reason what so ever. You need to sort your prioritys out.
    i wish you the best of luck to your pregnancy though, your child deserves the best.
    Take Care
     
  14. melanieyeah

    melanieyeah Well-Known Member

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    i agree 100% with missy. You will be with this child for at LEAST the next 18 years! do you understand that, you cant just throw it in teh cupboard when you get bored, or when you feel like going out and getting drunk with all your mates, i mean afterall you are so young, thats what you think you should be doing but in reality you will be sitting at home with your child. the baby will need 110% of your care and attention 24/7. please think about your child and not yourself, adoption might just be the best thing for your baby. please consider it.
     
  15. playmate

    playmate Well-Known Member

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    Are you totally insane? You havent told him... you havent told your mum...okay...what do you think is going to happen when you have had the baby?..do you think that you can hide it from the world.? i presume you still live with your parents? being only 13 and all, and i wont critisise you for loosing your virginity at such an age because i would be a hypacrit but you really need to value your self and the baby!
    so yeah you live with your parents and you think there not gonna notice a baby in the house? or have you planned not to take it home? i think now you really should THINK about what you're doing! i carn't believe how selfish you are and the fact you wont tell your b/f cos he is fit and you dont wanna loose him thats the most craziest thing ive ever heard! if you dont tell him your gonna loose him any way!
    My mum told me you think your grown up enough to have unprotected sex, your grown up enough to take the responsibilty of a baby! and i agree. but you really dont seem to have that responsible feeling about you. i really think you should go and see someone maybe a counciler or maybee just a nurse from a family planning clinic they dont tell your parents everythin you tell them is confidential. they arnt allowed to tell your parents or else they'd loose there job! tell them how you feel. tell them how selfish you are (im sorry for being honest and sharing my opinion but i feel it needs to be said. and im sure many other mums/ mums to be out there will value my opinion) the best thing for you would be to do that and consider putting it up for adoption if you dont think that you now can face the responsibility i wouldnt bother waiting till after the baby is born to see if you can handle it.
    so either tell ur mum and ur b/f and not care about the outcome, care for your baby and know that you have dont the right thing and a responsible thing
    OR
    tell a counciller and get yourself looked at. if you havent even had a scan or anythin im not tryin to worry you but all the drinking and smoking you have done may have done serious damage to your baby. and there are many of things you yourself can get in pregnancy. so you both may be at risk. and talk about the best possible way of coping with things wether it be considering being up for adoption or what.

    i just hope that you do something soon. and in the future remember this expirience and dont put yourself back in the same position.
     
  16. kayli

    kayli Well-Known Member

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    i fink im gonna put this stupid fu*kin baby up 4 adoption
    afta all im only 13
    i dnt no a fing bout lookin afta babys

    life is fu*kin pissin me off rite now
    kayli
     
  17. Manda

    Manda Well-Known Member

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    I think you really need help!

    I've got my doubts as to whether you are genuine or if you're just in need of attention, and i've an idea of who you are and if i'm correct then you're a sick person.

    If i'm wrong i apologise

    If you are pregnant you have got to stop being so selfish and put the baby first, there are many people on here including myself that look after themselves and have suffered miscarriages.

    You want to act like an adult by smoking, drinking and having sex then act like one and take responsibility for your actions, after all the baby didn't ask to be concieved did it.
     
  18. Guest

    grrrrrrrrrrr people like u make me so damn angry.... dont use this forum in future, i think it wud be for the best. we have genuine people trying so hard for a baby and you treat this situation as if u were in a damn circus...its not funny.

    you certainly dont desrve any of our time for advice, and especially any sympathy. just grow up see a dr if u are in fact pregnant. if no go back to school and get an education!!!!!!!
     
  19. Missy

    Missy Well-Known Member

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    If thats what you want...
    But if it took just three opinions to persaude you to do that then..well..
    Theres no need to start swearing, were all here to support you and to share our views when we thinks needed.
    What are you going to do then?
     
  20. soconfused

    soconfused Well-Known Member

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    im sorry if i offend anyone with my views but its people like you that give a bad name to teenage mums.
    1. you have never used a condom. did you just hope by some miracle that you wouldnt get pregnant? thats just stupid?
    2. you obviously dont care about your child cuz you are smoking and drinking

    im sorry but there are couples out there that genuinely cant have children no mater what they try through no fault of theor own and it makes me mad that you take this baby for granted and just dont care at all. i think adoption is the best option for you
     
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