I Want My Mum

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by SweetAtHeart12, Jan 2, 2008.

  1. SweetAtHeart12

    SweetAtHeart12 Well-Known Member

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    I haven't spoken to my Mum scince I was 13. I never did have a good relationship with my mum when I was younger, but always craved one. She knows where Im living, has my phone number and has never once bothered to contact me :( It hurts.
    As I'm moving away from the area I live in I decided that this Christmas I would send my Mum a Christmas card just incase anything happens to the family I havent seen in 6 years and they wish to contact me. I put a photo of Maisy (the grandaughter she doesnt know she has) inside and wrote a short note. I havent heard a thing :(

    Yesturday I was in town and I saw her, I smiled when she looked over and she gave me a dirty look like she didnt know me. I walked over to her and she just stared at me like I was a stranger to her. I look exactly like my Mother, she knew it was me. I walked home asking myself '
    What did I ever do to Mum, apart from love her.

    Im so lost and havent a clue on what to do, I miss my Mum so much, I have brothers and sisters I have never seen in my life.
    Do you think its worth contacting her or staying out of it?

    Im sorry if this is hard to understand

    XXX
     
  2. Krystal

    Krystal Well-Known Member

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    aww hun, :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    I'm not sure what advice to give.

    I think ignoring you in town like that was pretty cruel. What was the reason you fell out with her in the first place? Maybe that would explain why she acts like she does. I usually say lifes too short and to go for it in making it up but if she's rejected your attempts already I'm not sure it's a good idea.

    Maybe write her a letter?

    I hope you sort it out soon :hug: :hug:
     
  3. Sammystar

    Sammystar Well-Known Member

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    that's awful you poor thing :shock: :shock:

    I don't know how any mother could be like that with her own child. I don't know what to say.

    I think a letter might be a good idea? At least you have a chance to get it all out on paper, it might make you feel better even if she doesn't respond. At leat you'll know you've given it your best shot......

    good luck
    :hug: :hug:
     
  4. SweetAtHeart12

    SweetAtHeart12 Well-Known Member

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    Thankyou for the quick reply.
    My dad walked out on my Mum when I was six years old and my Mum decided to blame that on me, as I was young and the only child. She then met another man a few months later who I absolutely hated he would tease me and swear at me for no reason. I tried telling her and she would never listen. He then moved in with us and took over the whole house, he thought it was funny to sell all my toys and not let me watch TV. I lived with this for seven years and then on my 13th birthday I was dropped at my dads. My Mum told me that her job had been moved to Paris, and she would come and see me when I had school holidays... but she never did :(

    X
     
  5. Sammystar

    Sammystar Well-Known Member

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    that's just so bloody incredible. I can't understand how a mother could be like that.....

    have some hugs..... :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  6. Krystal

    Krystal Well-Known Member

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    :hug: :hug: aww hun, thats a horrible thing to do to you! I think maybe a letter would be the best idea. Get absolutely everything you need to say down on paper. Be completely truthful cos if she decides to contact you it's best there is nothing left to say other than build a relationship again. If she doesn't contact you can rest in knowledge you have said everything you need to, I think your fab for even thinking of giving her a chance. :hug: If she doesn;'t take offer up then it's her loss and def not yours. You just concentrate on you and your lovely daughter! :hug:
     
  7. SweetAtHeart12

    SweetAtHeart12 Well-Known Member

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    Thankyou Hun :)
     
  8. SweetAtHeart12

    SweetAtHeart12 Well-Known Member

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    I started writing a letter this afternoon and after about three pages my hand started to hurt so I'm going to finish it off tonight and post it by the end of the week.
    My BF has a really close relationship with his Mum and I see them together and start wishing that I was close to mine.
    I just want to know what I have ever done in life for her to hate me soo much. Hopefully she will contact me in some way but as you say if she doesn't I have said everything I need to say to her. I can start concentrating on Me, Adam (my BF) and Maisy Life :)

    XX
     
  9. loz

    loz Well-Known Member

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    Hi, so sorry to hear of your situation with your mum :hug: It sounds as though she might not be capable of what you are looking for in a mum - nurturing, love, care, closeness etc. Her behaviour so far seems to indicate that she might only disappoint you? If I were you I would give yourself a break - none of it is your fault, she is missing out on a lovely daughter and granddaughter and maybe much contact with her might be destructive to your self-esteem? If she gets your letter and doesnt respond, I would leave her and concentrate on people who deserve your love. x
     
  10. glitzyglamgirl

    glitzyglamgirl Well-Known Member

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    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    My mums the same, and I gave up trying to build bridges a long time ago.

    I had to accept that being a mother doesn't automatically make someone loving and kind, parents are people too and sometimes not very nice people. If this is the case with your mum, I'm sorry but you may just have to accept that you are never going to have the relationship you want with her.

    Instead throw all your energy into being the best mum you can be, so that your kids never have to ask the same questions about you.

    pm me if you want to talk more as this is something I have been dealing with for 32 years so I know what your going through :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  11. bobtheunfortunateone

    bobtheunfortunateone Well-Known Member

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    Ah Sweetatheart, I'm getting abit weepy for you :hug: She does not deserve you in her life, you have already tried but if you think the letter may help then send it, but I think it may help you to get thing off your chest at least, but I would not hope too much for a reply.

    But she sound like the sort of person I would not want in my life, mum or not! My MIL walked out on my hubby when he was 8 and she just done the same to our kids and I just think I have lost so much energy on her and to be honest your mum sounds 100 times worst, I say don't waste your tears and love on her. All you can do is break the chain and be the best mum to your own kids. It will drain you. Maybe you could try and find out what your brothers and sisters are like? But otherwise look after your family in your otherwise happy home.
     
  12. Redshoes

    Redshoes Well-Known Member

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    I don't know what to say but wanted to give you these :hug: :hug: :hug: and say that you are a great role model for your daughter, showing such forgiveness and openess, I hope you find some peace with your Mum soon :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  13. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

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    :shock: thats shocking! i feel so sorry for you, i wish u could make up with her but it sounds like the more u try the more u will just get hurt, im so sorry. :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  14. sam96031

    sam96031 Well-Known Member

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    i agree with everyones reply i think that writting the letter is a good idea as long as you dont expect too much its awful when a mother rejects her child.
    pm me if you want to chat :hug: :hug:
     

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